The Difference Between Rain and Tears
by Crystal Snowflakes
Summary: [Chapter 24 - 2 out of 24 Revised] Soujiro meets up with Tomoe's sister, Yukishiro Toshiko(OC) and goes to Kenshin for the truth about Tomoe and the Battousai's past. Things do not happen the way they expect as they find themselves in trouble...
1. Prologue : Rain Revised

Prologue

By Crystal Snowflakes

Author's Notes: Revised chapters should be up weekly or bimonthly. Once all chapter have been revised, the new chapters will be updated less frequently unless I am very inspired to write them. Storyline **_will_** change... Especially the relationship between Soujiro and Toshiko. I think I rushed the relationship a little too much the first time :P

Disclaimers: Rurouni Kenshin belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki and not to Crystal Snowflakes.

* * *

His blue eyes stared up at the stormy sky, a smile presently on his lips... He closed his eyes, hiding those abnormally emotionless eyes from the world as he listened to the splatter of rain... He listened as each and every drop plunged into the ground as his mind drifted back to that one night... 

It was raining on that night so long ago...

He remembered the night he had killed his foster family in cold blood... He remembered the way he had cried... He remembered the night he had lost his innocence, but everything he had done was right...

_Right?_

_After all... The strong live and the weak die..._

And yet... The strongest man in all of Japan, the Hitokiri Battousai, the man feared by all... He had told him that it was wrong to think that way... When he had lost to the infamous Battousai a year ago, he had thought that he was wrong... He had thought that what Shishio Makoto taught was wrong...

But life wasn't so easy. Just because you won a fight did not mean that you were right, and just because you lost a fight did not mean you were wrong either.

_Then what is right? And what is wrong?_

Truly, he really had no idea. He had a long way to go, a lot of things to learn... And one of them was to understand human emotions... And it really was hard... It was harder than any assassinations he had to do for Shishio-san... It was harder than any training he had done.

So here he was, in the rain, following the footsteps of the former Battousai... More than a decade ago, the Hitokiri Battousai had gone on a journey to rediscover himself... To find the truth...

And yet, even after a whole year, he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. It had been there for more than a decade, and to try to get it to go away after a year was not quite possible... He could find his smile wavering at times, but never gone.

Opening his eyes, he remembered the way Shishio-san had asked him if he had cried. He had said no. Crying was for those who were weak, and he wanted to be strong... He didn't want to suffer anymore... he didn't want to be hit for no reason, he didn't want to be punished for things he hadn't done... He was sick of people treating him badly... And so, with a lie, his life had changed drastically, just like that.

Shishio-san had taken him under his wing, training him, teaching him the way of life...

_The strong live and the weak die... The weak only serve as food for those who are strong..._

Why did it sound so wrong when he heard it the first time? And why was it that only a few months ago, he had collapsed due to a high fever and was saved by two old ladies? Surely, he was stronger than them... They were food, right? But how come they helped him? How come when he was sick and weak, the old ladies didn't kill him, but nursed him back to health. They hadn't minded his intrusion, and would have let him stayed if he had wanted to.

_Life really is a mystery..._

He continued walking in the rain, his clothes drenched and sticking to him like a second skin. And abruptly, he stopped in his tracks, then touched his katana at his side... He had managed to stop killing... But sometimes, it had been hard. He was a killer... A feared killer... The best of the Juppon-Gatana. And there was that one time, when that man had pissed him off so much that Soujiro had decided that he had no right to live. That had been his first kill in a while. That had been the first time after the battle with Himura-san that he had felt those things called emotions. Anger.

He suddenly found his eyes watery and he shut them tightly.

_It's the water... The water is getting into my eyes..._

He gritted his teeth and wondered what Shishio-san would say when he saw him crying in the middle of nowhere, pitying himself...

A sudden weight on his back brushed all his thoughts away. _Nani?_ As he turned around, he found himself face to face with someone that was simply... He didn't know how to describe. Although she had no make up, and she was simple, she was beautiful... Her dark hair was draping past her shoulders, clinging to her face because of the rain, her brown eyes were full of alarm and fear, yet bright...

"G-Gomen nasai!" Her eyes widened as she realized that she was clutching onto the boy's gi.

The smiling boy looked down , "Daijoubu?" He asked friendlily.

She nodded, "Daijoubu... Ano..." Before she could finish her sentence, eight men came running onto the road from the forest. When they caught sight of her, they grinned... A malicious grin.

Soujiro's eyes narrowed at the sight. "Are they after you?" he asked. At her nod, he stood in front of her, as if protecting her with his life.

"I rather you don't get involved in this!" She said, her eyes drifting from the protective boy and the men that were after her.

He glanced at her, "Don't worry... I won't let you get harmed, if that's what you're afraid of."

"No, that's not it... I'm afraid—"

"Little boy, get out of here. You don't want to die, do you?" A man sniggered.

Soujiro raised his eyebrow, the smile still present on his face, "Maa maa... Little boy?" He gave a small chuckle, "Iie... I'll have you know that I'm nineteen already. As for dying, I'm afraid I'm not afraid of death." At this, he gave a wider grin, "And if you treasure your life, you would leave, right now, without coming near the girl."

The girl's eyes widened, then narrowed as she hissed, "I don't know who you are, but are you **crazy**? Do you have any idea who these people are? They'll _kill_ you!"

Soujiro gave a smile at the girl hiding behind him, "I don't know who they are... But you certainly don't know who I am either."

"Don't be an idiot, boy." A man spoke up, "We just need her, she ran away from us. I don't enjoy killing or harming innocents. We don't need little boys like you to be waving a katana around like you know what you're doing."

"At least we agree to one thing. I do not enjoy harming or the killing of innocents. Leave when you have the chance." Soujiro smiled brightly again.

The first man spoke up, "You're starting to piss me off, boy. Wipe that smile off your face."

Soujiro's eyes gave a glint of amusement, "Only the strongest man in Japan has ever managed to wipe this smile off my face... But you are welcomed to try."

The man's eyes narrowed angrily, "You piss me off." Without another second, he raised his sword, and rush towards Soujiro...

...Only to have him disappear.

"I'm here." The young adult waved, now at the back of the group, the girl in his arms.

"Nani!" Many shouted, confused.

Soujiro grinned again, "That, was Shukuchi." He looked around, "And just to let you know, if I were so inclined, I could have killed the leader of your little group..."

At this, the leader fell down on the soaking ground, knocked out.

"But seeing that I do not enjoy killing _anymore_." He emphasized, "I will leave you alive..." His voice lowered dangerously, "But do not tempt me. Leave this girl alone." He let the girl down from his arms...

...And looked up to find seven men scrambling away and one laying on the floor.

"Maa maa..." Soujiro said to himself, "This one's going to get a cold when he gets up." He looked at the girl, "Are you all right?"

She was looking at him, confused, "Who... What are you?"

"What am I?" Soujiro repeated the question, his eyebrows knit in concentration, "Hmm... Good question. I'm just a rurouni helping those in need... We'll, we're near the next town and seeing that you don't have anywhere to go and you're as drenched as I do, do you want to join me...?"

"Yukishiro Toshiko." She smiled, "Thank you for saving me... And I would love to join you, but I have nothing to repay you with..."

He chuckled again, "Don't worry. I can only hope you don't bother sharing a room with me."

"Arigatou." She looked down as she followed Soujiro, "Ano... Would you mind telling me your name?"

Soujiro's eyes widened, "Ah! I forgot to tell you! Please excuse me." He gave a boyish grin, "Seta Soujiro, rurouni."

* * *

After they had gotten a room and had filled their stomachs, Soujiro studied the young girl. "So, Yukishiro-san... Why were you being chased by eight men?" 

Toshiko looked down at the floor, "Toshiko will do fine, Seta-san..."

"Soujiro." He insisted.

She nodded, "Soujiro-san..." She looked up at the ceiling, "My mother died giving birth to me... My older sister raised me until she left for Kyoto during the Bakumatsu and never came back... My brother soon left, so my father raised me. He died of an illness recently and I was forced to live on the streets... And they sold me to a brothel..." Her eyes became watery. "I just couldn't stand it... I was raised to be honourable... And yet... Things that happened in those places... I just couldn't stand it, so I did the only thing I could. I ran away."

"And then you ran into me." Soujiro filled in.

Toshiko nodded, "And there was a thing I had wanted to do... I promise my sister fifteen years ago that I would visit her..."

"Fifteen years ago..." Soujiro said thoughtfully.

"One year before the Bakumatsu ended..." She paused slightly, then looked at her hands, "...Ano, just out of curiousity... Were you crying when I bumped into you?"

He looked shocked for a mere second before his usual smile took place...

The truth was... The truth was... I was crying. I may have been smiling, but I was crying... Crying because they wouldn't love me... Crying because they wouldn't love who I was... Crying because that no matter how I had tried to please them, they were never satisfied. I was crying because nobody cared or loved me... I was crying because nobody protected me...

Finally, he nodded, "...Hai."

"Gomen nasai... I really don't mean to be so nosy."

He gave her a smile, "Don't worry about it... Moving on, what was it that you promise your sister?"

Slowly, she took a letter out of her sleeve. The envelope was yellow and stains could be seen clearly. "Fifteen years ago... Neechan got married after she went to Kyoto. I don't know why she went there out of the blue because no one told me. I asked Otousan later, but he never replied... I had wanted to go visit her, but Otousan never allowed me... I wanted to search for her, and when Otousan died, I knew this was the only chance I'd get... I don't have any family members left, except Neechan and Niichan... But I don't know where Niichan is... So I decided to go visit Neechan and her husband..." Looking at the letter, she handed it to the former Tenken.

Soujiro took the letter and read it out loud...

_**Toshiko-chan,**_

_**By the time you read this, you would be no older than three  
and would probably not read this yet... I wanted to let you  
know that I am very happy here... Kyoto is a dangerous place  
though, so I would rather you not come. My husband's name  
is Kenshin. He's very good with children, so I'm sure that if  
you come, he'll play with you... I'd also like to let you know  
that I'm pregnant... I'm so happy, but unfortunately, I  
haven't told Kenshin yet. I haven't found the right time to...  
Toshiko-chan, this letter is meant for you to read, and only  
you...**_

_**The sole reason for sending this letter is that... I want you  
to live life to the fullest... Love who you fall in love with, no  
matter his background, age or whatever. The Bakumatsu  
is dragging on and I do not know when it will end, but at  
the end, if I can, I will come back to Edo and visit you. I  
might not ever see you again... And if I don't, please...  
Take the advice.**_

_**Sayonara,  
Himura Tomoe.**_

By the time he finished the letter, his eyes were wide with shock, _Himura Tomoe?_ "Himura... Kenshin..." He muttered to himself. _Himura-san had a wife? And she was pregnant? If that was the case, the child would just be a little younger than himself... But there was no one in the Aoiya that was close... There was that Myojin Yahiko... Machimachi Misao... Kamiya Kaoru... Sagara Sanosuke. Anyone else does not belong in that age group and I'm sure those four have no blood relations with Himura-san... Was it possible that Himura-san does not know either? If so, where is his wife? And since when had the Hitokiri Battousai married during the Bakumatsu? And even if he did... He would be married when he was... That would be too young..._

"Oneechan was pregnant." Toshiko smiled beautifully, "That would probably make the child just three to four years younger than I am..." She suddenly noticed the shocked look on the boy's face, "Soujiro-san...?"

He composed himself, "Hai?" He asked, his bright smile back in place.

"Do you know this Kenshin? Himura Kenshin? And do you know Neechan?"

Not only was the Tenken curious, but he was also wondering what kind of trouble he was getting into... Telling her that he knew Himura Kenshin would probably lead her to asking him to lead her, and if that was the case, he didn't mind much. After all, he _is_ a rurouni... But he knew that if he had to lead Toshiko to Himura Kenshin, he would meet Saitou Hajime, the beloved scrawny cop that everyone loved. Grimacing inwardly, he finally nodded. "Hai."

"Is there... Is there any way you can tell me where they are and take me there?"

Soujiro nodded.

She laughed, "Arigatou, Soujiro-san!" She grinned, "So are we going to go tomorrow?"

Soujiro nodded, "We're going to get some provision for the trip first, then we'll go to Tokyo by passing a few towns as well as Kyoto, then finally arriving at Tokyo." He winced inwardly. He knew that passing those small towns also meant passing his hometown, as well as Kyoto. Those were two places he did not want to go... He continued talking as if nothing had disturbed his mind, "We should really go to sleep, in that case. It will be a long trip, and we're going to need all the sleep we can get."

Toshiko nodded, "All right... Oyasumi, Soujiro-san."

"Oyasumi nasai."

* * *

Author's Notes: There! It's finally done! I'm **actually** going to revise and **finish** one of the first fics I've written on fanfiction. net. Wow, it's a miracle :) Anyways, hope you enjoyed the much more descriptive chapter... It has gone from 1700 words to 2600 :) Either way, see you later! 

**-**Crystal Snowflakes

Wednesday, March 23, 2005


	2. Chapter 1 : Beginning Revised

Chapter 1

By Crystal Snowflakes

Author's Notes: Another chapter up... Enjoy!

Disclaimers: Rurouni Kenshin belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki and not to Crystal Snowflakes :(

* * *

Soujiro woke up early, despite the fact that they didn't have anything to do. After folding his futon, he turned around to glance at the girl who was sleeping peacefully in her futon. He studied her intensely, as if trying to find his truth in one absolutely normal girl...

Shishio-san said that the strong survive and the weak die... But then, why did I save her? Those men were stronger than her, for sure... Shouldn't they have killed her? Even if not, I should have killed her... I am stronger than her... Demo... Himura-san...

He shook his head as he sighed. "If I keep thinking like this, I'm going to drive myself crazy... They're both confusing enough as it is. Both of them, Himura-san and Shishio-san... Thinking will do nothing but confuse me more... I have to _find_ the answers..." All the while muttering that, he opened the shoji quietly and walked out the balcony, unaware that his smile had disappeared. It was now replaced by a frown... So deep in thoughts that he was never aware that the girl he had shared his room with had woken up and has been studying his form the whole time...

She had heard him mumble to himself, although she knew not what he had said... At first, she thought that it was something insignificant that he was complaining to himself about... But as he stood out on the balcony, she watched his smile falter, and finally diminish. It had, to a point, scared her. Although she has only known him for half a day, and for quite a few of those hours, they were asleep, she had gotten used to his constant smile...

...And now, it was gone. Vanished. He looked very serious indeed... And somewhat confused. Biting her bottom lip in decision, she stood up and approached her quietly... Once in reach, she touched his arm gently.

His body had stiffened and his hand laid on his hilt, as if he was about to unsheathe the sword.

"Ohayo Soujiro-san. It's Toshiko." She said, smiling.

His stance had relaxed visibly. _Maa maa... I was so deep in thoughts that I did not hear her approach... I should be more careful, although this helpless girl can't do anything to me anyways... Perhaps my skills are getting rusty though..._

"Gomen nasai... I didn't want to intrude on you and your thoughts... You had me worried for a moment there though."

"Worried?" He asked, giving her a momentary look. "Why should you be worried?"

Toshiko blinked, "What do you mean why? I'm worried because I care." She frowned slightly, "Since I've known you, although not long, you always have that smile on your face... It's like a mask, I guess... Perhaps to fool the world... But... When I don't see it, I know something is wrong... I can see the underlying sadness in that smile..." She gave a sad sigh and a small smile. "Neechan used to always look at me like that... And one night, that smile just left... The next day, she left for Kyoto."

Seeing the pained look on her face, he gave her one of his Tenken smiles. "I'm all right. Don't worry about me, Toshiko-san..." _...I'm not someone that deserves someone else's worrying._

"Usotski... Sometimes, people need someone to worry about them, you know... I know I'm not someone you can trust because of the time we've known each other. Demo, at least tell me what's wrong..."

He shook his head, "Iie..." He looked back at the scenery, "I can't tell you. It's better if I don't burden you anyways... Once I get you to Himura-san's safely, I'll be leaving again..."

"Do you not trust me or—"

"It's not that I don't trust you, Toshiko-san... I am not someone you think I am. I am not any innocent civilian with a katana at his side..."

She shook her head furiously, "It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks! You _saved_ me. I know you're not some cold-blooded murderer!"

You don't know how wrong you are, Toshiko-san...

"And now, you make it seem like I'm your burden! Once I get to Neechan's, you're just going to leave me there? If that's the point, I really don't need your help, Soujiro-san." She bit the insides of her mouth, her eyes darkening.

Although he had no emotions himself, he could feel the emotions around him quite easily. _Sadness... Why is she so pained by my refusal?_ He sighed softly, "It's not that I don't trust you... It's just I can't bring myself to tell you..." His smile was gentle now, "And you aren't a burden, Toshiko-san."

"Why can't you tell me then?"

He turned around and laid a hand on her shoulder, "...If you knew, you are going to abandon me. And I can't have that. I want you back to Himura-san safely."

"Iie." Her head was bowed down, her eyes hidden by her bangs... But when she looked up, her eyes were slightly wet... "No matter what you did, I really won't care. I want to know and I want to get to know you more... I won't abandon my first friend..."

_First friend...?_

"I was never allowed to go out because of the Bakumatsu..." She explained, "And when the war ended, I had already lost interest in going out to play with other children. I was always lonely. I was always interested in book and I always helped around the house because it was only Otousan and I... Neechan and Niichan never returned..."

_Lonely...? Her?_

"...The only time I ever went out was when I had to get groceries, and even then..." She smiled sadly, "Even then, I never talked to anyone. My father died soon after... Soujiro... Although we've met for so little time, you're my friend... The one and only friend I have." She gave a soft sigh, "I won't abandon you." She had dropped the honorific, not because she wanted to, but simply because she thought that it sounded... right.

_One and only friend?_

"And plus..." She gave another smile, this one brighter. "...The past is always the past. You can't change anything... _Today's the most important day of your life since yesterday doesn't belong to you anymore and tomorrow is nothing but an illusion... So if today is well, every yesterday will transform into a happy memory and every tomorrow would be a vision filled with hope._" She recited softly.

The past... is always the past... He embraced her softly, and whispered in her ear, "You're my friend too." He gave a smile, this one, different than all the others he has given. "I'll tell you one of these day, but not today. I'm not ready yet myself... But when we reach my hometown..." He paused, "Is that all right, Toshiko-san?"

She nodded her head slowly, her head at his neck, "Toshiko, Soujiro... Not Toshiko-san." She smiled.

"Hai, hai, Toshiko." He continued to embrace her, her scent engulfing him... It had really been the first time that he had such a close contact with any human being...

They stood there for several minutes, embracing each other in silence...

The former Tenken smiled, his eyes closed and whispered very softly, "Arigatou..."

She did not understand how she could find such comfort in a person she has only met for a day... He was strong, yes... But... When she watched him, she felt her heart race... And when his smile had disappeared, she felt her heart tug...

She knew for a fact that this was not a normal friendship she felt. Although she has never had a friend, she knew that this was different. All she wanted at the moment was to be with him. She didn't care how his past was... She didn't care if he was someone who had wanted to kill everyone or destroy the entire Japan. She didn't care if he's felt the warmth of many women in bed...

Soujiro was having an internal struggle with himself... Having told her he was going to tell her his past, he was trying to think of how to tell his story without telling her that her brother-in-law was the infamous Hitokiri Battousai that everyone still fears...

Their long embrace was disturbed by someone knocking at the shoji. Soujiro gave Toshiko a small smile before he slid it open.

An adorable girl was standing at the doorway... She was wearing a purple kimono as she stared wide-eyed at Soujiro. A few seconds later, after understanding dawned on her, she blushed furiously. "Gomen nasai! I thought this was Okaasan's room..." Bowing, she hurried to the next room and knocked on the door. When she heard her mother's footsteps approach, she looked at the man standing at the doorway and gave a timid smile, "Ne, Oniichan? You're kawaii." She flushed, then rushed into her room the second her mother opened it.

Soujiro turned around to look at Toshiko with a bewildered look on his face.

Toshiko's face was filled with amusement and laughter.

"Maa, maa... Were you like _that_ when you were young?"

She failed miserably to stop her laughter and replied with difficulty, "I've never been so straight in my life! I've never **seen** someone so bold!" Her laughter erupted again as she watched Soujiro's dumbfounded face, "You look absolutely hilarious, Soujiro!"

His grin widened at the sight of her happiness... _Why do I feel so good, knowing that indirectly, I caused the happiness for this woman? Why do I feel as if I am impregnable...? _

"So where are we heading today?" She asked.

"I'm going to go get some food while you get ready... We'll get a job on our way to Kyoto. We need to get you a new kimono."

She smiled brightly, "Honto? I want to get you a new set of clothes too then, Soujiro-**chan**."

"Chan?" Soujiro grinned, a somewhat evil glint in his eyes. Picking her up with unbelievable ease, he dumped her on her futon and began tickling her everywhere.

She laughed, hardly able to speak, "Sou...jiro! Yamero!" She laughed again, "I mean it! I'm going... to be... really..." She giggled, "mad!"

He stopped, knowing she had enough, another wide grin on his face. He couldn't remember being so happy... He couldn't remember enjoy life so much...

As she quieted down, she glanced up and noticed Soujiro's thoughtful face just inches away from her own... and blushed.

Upon realization, Soujiro jerked her head backwards and sat on the floor.

"Ano..." Toshiko looked at the ground, embarrassed.

He stood up and headed towards the shoji, all the while wondering what he was feeling... Shaking his head, he turned around and gave her a smile, "I'll be back in an hour."

She nodded, slowly. "Hai. Be careful."

"I will." As he stepped out to the hallway, he gave her one last smile, and slid the shoji shut.

Toshiko blinked, confused. _What the heck was that?_

_

* * *

_

**Usotski **- Liar

Author's Notes: Done! Another chapter **done**! Yay! Anyways, next chapter should be up within a few days. Hope you look forward to it! Oh, and the kissing scene **has** been removed in this chapter because... well... I personally think it was too early... So we'll have a kissing scene later :P

**-**Crystal Snowflakes

Sunday, March 27, 2005


	3. 2 : The 'Incident'

Chapter 3  
  
By Crystal  
  
*Screw the disclaimers, you know I hate them by now...* ^^;;  
  
After a few minutes, Soujiro drew back. Toshiko's face was as red as his brother-in-law's hair. He stood up and headed towards the shoji, before stepping out to the hallway, he gave her a smile and said, "I'll be back in an hour."  
  
She nodded slightly and when he was completely out of sight, she reached up and touched her lips softly. And then she reached for her arm and pinched it hard, she wince. This was indeed real. Soujiro had kissed her. Just thinking about him made her blush. She closed the door leading to the balcony and untied her yukata, letting it slide off and picked up her kimono that was folded in the corner.  
  
She was really in need of a new kimono, and so was Soujiro. The bottom of her kimono was wrecked due to running in the rain last night and Soujiro's whole set of clothes were a disaster. You couldn't blame him, I mean, he's been travelling for the last I don't know how many months with those! At least that's what she thought, Soujiro didn't have much unless for his katana, which he was now carrying, and some provisions. That was about it.  
  
Toshiko tied her obi slowly and proceeded to sit in front of a mirror, thinking of how to tie her hair for the day. Thinking about Tomoe, she decided that she would tie her hair up like her sister. Tomoe had taught her a long time ago, but she still haven't forgotten.  
  
Toshiko treasured every memory of them together because there were so few. She remembered when she had received the letter, she spent all day long jumping around in her room. Not letting her parents read it, or even near it. It was addressed to her, after all, and her parents respected her privacy.  
  
Soon enough, after a few tries, her hair was tied up in a low ponytail with bangs on both sides of her face. She smiled to the mirror and turned her head to see Soujiro coming in the room.  
  
Standing up with a mock anger face, she said, "You're late."  
  
He smiled, not knowing what to do, smiled and said, "Hai, hai. Gomei nasai, took me a bit longer than I thought to gather all our provisions for our journey." Not knowing whether she was really mad or not, he gave her another one of his weak smiles. He had little experience with women. Only Yumi-san, but she was never really angry with him or anything. Or Shishio-san. And maybe Kamatari...If you can consider him being a girl...  
  
The corner of her mouth moved upwards, "I'm just kidding, Soujiro. No need to be scared." She looked amusingly at Soujiro when he was having an inner argument about whether she was mad at him or not. At least that was what she thought.  
  
"I am NOT scared! Certainly not of you...I don't see why you would scare me." Soujiro insisted and changed the subject, "We'll be arriving Kyoto in three days and my hometown by tomorrow if we start after our breakfast. Two weeks from Kyoto to Tokyo if we travel non-stop except for meals and sleep. But we might have to stay a few more days in Kyoto because we need to ear money for more provisions. I doubt that this is going to last us two weeks and a half." Soujiro pointed at the bag of provisions.  
  
Toshiko rolled up her own futon and nodded. They went down the stairs and returned the room to the landlady before going off to a restaurant for breakfast. Fortunately, Soujiro had enough money for a few more meals, so they would be able to sleep in inns rather than in the forest.  
  
Both were deep in thoughts, exchanging few words when eating breakfast. 'I get to see oneechan in a few weeks! The most at four weeks. Oh I can't wait to see her husband...Is he short, or tall? Well, maybe tall since oneechan's pretty tall. I can't wait to see the little kid they have...Hmm...boy or girl? I wonder...' she thought excitedly, and kept thinking of new questions.  
  
Soujiro was STILL thinking about Shishio-san's philosophy and Himura-san's saying. That's all he seems to do these few days. He was also thinking of what possessed him to kiss Toshiko in the first place. Her lips were soft and ... 'Oh where the hell did THAT come from?" After a few minutes, making sure they had nothing left to buy, they set off to Soujiro's hometown. The former member of the Juppon Gatana carried his katana and their food while his companion carried a thin blanket which he had bought along with the sack of food.  
  
After a few hours of walking and talking, Toshiko asked, "Soujiro, how long till we get to wherever your hometown is?"  
  
"If we walk on for about three more hours today, we should be able to reach within two hours tomorrow morning. Are your feet hurting, Toshiko?"  
  
"Iie...another five hours." She groaned, "Oi Soujiro, how long have you been traveling?"  
  
Without a second thought, he replied, "An year."  
  
"Kami-sama, and you had to walk like this for an whole year?! Whatever possessed you to do that?!"  
  
His steps slowed slightly at the question, surprised, before he returned to his normal speed so she wouldn't suspect anything, "Hai...I'm used to it." And he thought to himself, 'your brother-in-law got me to do all this wandering.' He smiled again.  
  
Toshiko raised her eyebrow, he smiled again, it seems like that's all the emotions he's got. Except a rare frown sometimes. She tried a conversation again, it was getting bored with all the walking and not much talking. They talked occasionally today, not a lot of words exchanged, not even at breakfast or lunch. It didn't seem right to her.  
  
"Soujiro, how come you always have that smile on your face? Except when you're unaware, otherwise, you have a smile, whether you're happy or not." She tilted her head at Soujiro.  
  
He sighed, "I've only cried a few times my whole lifetime. I smile, because ... I'm used to smiling. I haven't stopped smiling since I was seven, except an year ago, and when you were here. It's a reaction."  
  
Her eyebrows knitted in confusion, "Reaction? Of what? And how come?"  
  
Soujiro gave her another smile and looked up at the now darkening sky, "A part of my childhood...if you can call that a childhood. It's a part of my life, and why I'm here right now, why I'm travelling as a rurouni. But I'll tell you tomorrow, when we reach...there."  
  
She nodded slightly and almost crashed into Soujiro again when he suddenly stopped. "Nani? Doushita?"  
  
Soujiro smiled and Toshiko suddenly backed up. Something was going on, there was an evil glint in Soujiro's eyes when he smiled. Toshiko's eyes widened in shock when he scooped her up and started walking towards the forest.  
  
"Seta Soujiro! I demand to know what is going on! PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!" she shrieked, and hit him continously with her fists on his chest, which didn't make a difference. Misao's kick wouldn't hurt much, and she's had lots of training, what makes Toshiko think that a few punches from someone as weak as her would do much damage to the strongest member of the Juppon Gatana?  
  
The forest happened to be a small one, and soon, Toshiko heard the sounds of water. 'A river!' she thought to herself, and her thoughts were confirmed when they neared a bit more. There was crystal clear water in the river of about six feet in width running through the whole forest.  
  
She dropped the blanket as Soujiro dropped all his stuff and carried her to the water. Knowing what he was about to do, she said warningly, "Soujiro, don't you dare."  
  
He smiled mockingly, "Now why wouldn't I dare?" Before she could say anything, he let go of her. Unfortunately for Soujiro, she was holding on his gi for dear life and as he let go of her, he had also plunged in the water with her due to her tight hold. There was a big splash. He smiled a little, "I guess I deserved that, didn't I?"  
  
"You bet. How are we going to travel around like this?" She asked, not angry, but just a bit irritated, 'how dare he drop me into the river?!'  
  
Soujiro shrugged, "We might as well walk a bit until our clothes dry a bit, then we can find a spot to sleep."  
  
The lower part of her kimono and the sleeves were drenched, but the top was still dry, she smiled inwardly, she had never played like that, since Tomoe and Enishi had pushed her into a river. That was before both of them abandoned her. She had cried, locked herself away from the others in her own room after Enishi left for Tomoe. It still hurt, knowing both of them left her...abandoned her. That was why she didn't want Soujiro to leave her. But she knew, one day, after he got her to Tokyo, he would leave her to continue his journey.  
  
She shook her head, clearing it away from the thoughts. No, Soujiro was not going to leave her. He was not going to leave her. She was his only friend, friends don't leave each other, ne?  
  
Walking for another what seemed to be half an hour or so, her kimono was almost dried, except the very bottom, which was still wet. "Soujiro, when are we stopping?"  
  
He turned around, "I was thinking over there." He pointed to the front, "There are lots of trees over there for cover." She nodded and follow him closely.  
  
After settling down and having quick supper, Toshiko had her back against one tree and she was staring up at the sky and at the stars. She suddenly felt her eyelids getting heavier, she was exhausted by today's walk. She unfolded the blanket which she had collected after the river 'incident' and covered her body with it, half the blanket on her left side on the ground.  
  
"Soujiro, come over here." She mentioned him to come beside her where there was enough blanket left for him.  
  
"Iie, I'll be fine, I'm used to sleeping without a blanket or anything."  
  
"Soujiro, come here right now before you catch a cold! Your hakama is still soaked." He shook his head and turned back to the sky, "You are one stubborn fool, Soujiro." Then adding with a low voice, "Baka...making me stand up." She walked right up to him, and without warning, pinched his earlobe. "Now am I making myself clear? You are to sleep under the blanket or else you will get a cold!"  
  
"Itai! Hai! Let go, Toshiko!"  
  
She smiled, "I'm finally getting through you." She slipped underneath the blankets while Soujiro slipped underneath the other side. After making herself comfortable, she closed her eyes and slept on Soujiro's shoulder and before falling asleep, muttered "Oyasumi, Soujiro." Which Soujiro had no trouble hearing, after all, he was trained to hear the slightest sound when he was with Shishio-san.  
  
Placing his own head on hers, he finally whispered, "Oyasumi, Toshiko." Before drifting off to sleep.  
  
Author's Notes: Hai, hai, I probably did rush Soujiro and Toshiko a bit, didn't I? Well, you can't blame me...I was dying to write that part =p I thank everyone that has been reviewing my story. Or even reading it. =) Thanks all and me thinks the next chapter will come out in a few days...Maximum three days, I hope. Have a great night! *It's currently 11:50 PM here... yawns* Actually, I'm not sleepy yet...working on chapter four. Well, cya all!  
  
Souji - Traditional Japanese sliding doors  
Gomei nasai - I'm sorry  
Hai - Yes  
Futon - Japanese mattress where you sleep  
Oneechan - Older sister  
Iie - No  
Oi - Hey  
Rurouni - Wanderer (Most of you know what a rurouni is =P)  
Nani - What  
Doushita - What's wrong?  
Gi - Traditional shirt worn by japanese men, you know, the pink clothing Kenshin wears around. *Kenshin: Sessha's gi is not pink, it's magneta, Crystal-dono. Magneta!* ...Magneta clothing Kenshin wears around...  
Ne? - Right?  
Hakama - traditional japanese pants  
Baka - Stupid, idiot  
Itai - Ouch 


	4. 3 : Soujiro's Regret

Chapter 4  
  
By Crystal  
  
Author's Notes: Some of you may wonder why I haven't mentioned the name of Soujiro's hometown, the truth is, I don't know it. So I'll leave it, don't want to get it wrong now, do I? =)  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
Soujiro woke up smiling and looked at the sleeping girl next to him, head on his shoulders. He sighed, he'd have real trouble not waking her up and standing up. He tried to slowly move his shoulders away and stopped immediately when he felt Toshiko move. 'Darn.'  
  
She wiggled a bit and opened her eyes slightly, to get used to the dim light. "Ohayou, Soujiro..."  
  
"Ohayou. Another two to three hours until we reach the next town." He stood up, causing Toshiko's head to connect with his right shoulder.  
  
"Itai! Soujiro no baka!" She grabbed a rock and threw it at him, which he evaded easily. "Baka! Don't move!"  
  
He did not know what to do, and kept saying "Gomei nasai!" but she paid no heed to his words, only tossing rocks at him. He'd fight anyone right now, even Himura-san, if it meant that Toshiko was going to stop throwing rocks at him. He couldn't possibly scream at her to stop, that was just not his style, and he wouldn't do it anyways, it WAS his fault that she was hurt in the first place. But no way in hell was he going to stop and let her throw rocks at him, who knows how long she'll throw them until her temper goes now? By then, he might already be dead. He kept dodging.  
  
Finally, tired of throwing useless rocks, not even a single one hit the mark, she gave up. Without a single word, she folded the blanket up. Soujiro took the bags up and looked at her confused, scratching behind his head. She turned around and gave him a smile, "Come on, Soujiro. I want to hurry up and make it to town for lunch!" Seeing the expression on his face, she added, "And no, I'm not mad, just don't do that again. It really hurt."  
  
"Hai, hai" And started walking beside her having little conversations about random topics.  
  
With their speed, they arrived at the town a little over two hours. Once they entered town, Soujiro's pace slowed considerately and Toshiko noticed, since she had begun paying more attention to him than anything else. "Soujiro...It's all right if you don't want to stay here, we can continue right away on our journey without stopping. I'm not tired, and I certainly won't make you tell me your childhood if you don't want to."  
  
Toshiko wanted to back up a step when she saw the hatred and anger on his face, but stopped herself. 'He needs someone to care right now. Don't abandon him when he needs you most.'  
  
"I can't think of how that could be considered a childhood." His voice as cold as steel, then recomposed himself, "Gomei, Toshiko. Don't know what came over me." What she didn't know was that he wasn't mad at her, or his foster parents for that matter. He was made at himself. For killing. Killing those people that were his family, but also mad at god because of whatever he did, his family was never satisfied, never.  
  
"Iie, don't worry about it. I'll understand if you don't want to talk about it." She gave him a smile and clasped his hand in hers, then frowned, "I can't even picture what you've been through..."  
  
'I can't even picture what you've been through.'  
  
'The strong survive and the weak just die.'  
  
'Soujiro, what did you mean when you said 'you didn't protect me then'?'   
  
'Is it really that wrong to be weak? If you believed what you just said, why didn't you protect me then? Why?!'  
  
'Soujiro...Soujiro! SOUJIRO!!'  
  
'Himura-san, I don't care what is right or wrong.'  
  
'Iie, I'm not right. The strongest isn't always right. That's what Shishio thinks.'  
  
'Himura-san, you're not going to make this easier for me. You're a harsher taskmaster than Shishio-san.'  
  
'Soujiro has broken.'  
  
'At least Shishio-san gives me all the answers.'  
  
'Soujiro, you're still young, you can find the truth and the answers.'  
  
'Like you?'  
  
'Like me.'  
  
'True, I may have been smiling that rainy night... but... The truth is... The truth is... I was... The truth is I was crying...'  
  
Toshiko was calling his name, when he suddenly became aware of his surroundings. He clutched his head and bent down, Toshiko doing the same beside him, embracing him. He whispered quietly, but loud enough for her to hear some of the words, "H-Himura-san...You were right...I never wanted to live the life of a killer. I regretted all the things I've done. I didn't want to kill. I never did. Shishio-san, remember I told you I wasn't crying that night I first killed? Well, I did...I was crying. And the sky was crying too. I didn't want to kill. I didn't..."  
  
'Kill? I never wanted to live the life of a killer... Killer? Soujiro was a killer?' She couldn't believe it, Soujiro, a killer. That sounded unreal, but it was true. Or else he wouldn't have said it himself. He was going to tell her today, but before he could, he broke down and said it all. She wasn't mad, instead, she was surprised. Soujiro a killer...That was just...near zero. He was always smiling, even though he did have a katana, he never used it. Or at least she hasn't seen him using it. And who did he say was always right? She had missed the name of the person because of his sobbing.  
  
She stood there comforting Soujiro, oblivious to the stares of the townsmen. And he finally quiet down and wiped away the few tears that were falling down his cheeks.  
  
Once again the smiling Tenken. "Gomei, I didn't know what made me lose myself like that again. How about lunch? And then I'll tell you everything."  
  
"Soujiro...You don't need to tell me. I have a pretty clear idea of what was going on. Lunch would be nice."  
  
Soujiro looked into her eyes, no hatred, no angry, no betrayal, and most importantly, no disgust. "Aren't you disgusted? At me being a killer?"  
  
"Iie...If everyone had a choice, they'd all be happy people living with their family. I'm just, surprised. That's all. You, most certainly don't look like a killer. At all." They stood up, and gave his hand a tight squeeze. "Let's have lunch, I'm famished."  
  
"Hai." He smiled at her understanding. "I'll bring you somewhere and tell you after lunch." Gave her a quick hug and lead her to a restaurant.  
  
"By the way, who did you say was always right? You said something like 'You were right...I never wanted to kill."  
  
'Shoot.' He scowled inwardly, unconsciously, he said Himura-san's name. Good thing she didn't hear. "Err...You'll know...In time." He did not want to be the one to mention Himura-san's name. From now on, he'd have to be more careful.  
  
"All right."  
  
After lunch, Soujiro lead Toshiko to his old home and he traced the family name with his finger. It was no longer 'Seta' but was now 'Kuro'. It felt so familiar, yet so exotic. And knocked on the gate, hoping someone was home.  
  
Fortunately, after a few seconds, someone came and opened the gates, and Soujiro greeted him, "Kuro-san? I assume?"  
  
"Hai, what do you want, young man?" He asked politely.  
  
"Well, I used to live here, and I just wanted to visit here for a while."  
  
"Ahh...your last name is?"  
  
"Seta..."  
  
He shook his head, "Ah yes, the Seta family, I moved in right after them. They had a former hitokiri running loose here then, and the whole family got killed. You are?"  
  
He was unwilling to answer the question, but answered anyhow, "Seta...Soujiro."  
  
His eyes widened, "Ah yes, I've heard about you. The kid that was always smiling. They didn't find your corspe, but assumed you dead since the whole family was."  
  
He shook his head, "Iie, I was alive. I got locked out to sleep that night, since I didn't finish my work that day." 'Soujiro you liar, you killed them, that's why you weren't killed.'  
  
"Oh well, you can have the lawn, we're going out to visit my sister soon anyhow. Just close the gates when you leave. Thank you." He turned his back and walked up to the house.  
  
"So...your family was murdered...that's why you had such a rough childhood..." Toshiko said.  
  
"Iie...Didn't you hear me say, 'I got locked out to sleep that night, since I didn't finish my work that day'?"  
  
"Work?"  
  
"Aa...I was ordered to bring a hundred packs of rice to the warehouse everyday. It wasn't because my family was murdered that made me had such a rough childhood. It was they that made my childhood hell. I had no friends, I had no time. Whether or not I finished moving the rice or not, I was to sleep outside. The only difference was having dinner or not. They weren't my real family, my real family died a long time ago. They adopted me to make me work."  
  
She sighed, so that's why he was so miserable. He had a miserable life. "Who could've killed so many people?" She was suddenly scared of the answer when a few emotions went through Soujiro's eyes. Guilt, shame and hurt.  
  
"Me. I killed them."  
  
Author's Notes: Ehh...I hope you guys like this. Took me a day! Less than a day! 23 hours and 40 minutes! Isn't that amazing?! LoL...Thanks for reviewing and reading. Err...and have a great night and Oyasumi! Even though I'm not going to sleep yet. Maybe in half an hour. 11:33 PM now =p. School tomorrow. *Sighs* It might take me two to three days to finish my 5th chapter, since it's a weekday tomrrow. *Sighs again* Hope you enjoy and please review! Sayonara minna!  
  
Ohayou - Good morning.  
Itai - Ow, Ouch  
Baka - Stupid  
Iie - No  
Gomei - I'm sorry 


	5. 4 : Soujiro's Past

Chapter 5  
  
By Crystal  
  
Author's Notes: I thank DiaBLo for pointing my mistake out =p. I'm obviously not very good at Japanese at all...Arigatou! And I hope you enjoy reading this chapter. By the way, just if your wondering, Tomoe's mother died giving birth to Enishi. So I kinda altered it a bit. She died of a disease, but Tomoe still cared deeply for Enishi.  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
  
  
She had a gut feeling he was going to said that when those emotions passed through his eyes. But inside, she had hoped she had guessed wrong. She had hoped... But hoping was not enough. The Kuro family had already left. The only person left inside the gates were her, and him.  
  
His back was facing towards her, she did not know what to say. Comfort him? He would just get angry at her and say something like, 'What do you mean I didn't mean to? I had a choice!'. She could say something like, 'I'm sorry' but men had too much pride. They didn't want women to pity them. She snorted inwardly. She's had plenty of experience with her stubborn father.  
  
And her eyes widened slightly. Right then, she had finally forgotten about her deceased parents. All she did these past two days was getting exited at finally being able to see her sister...and worrying about Soujiro's sudden breakdowns. She had moved on her life, and with whose help? A former hitokiri...Seta Soujiro. A man standing right in front of her, exposing his past, telling her everything, declaring that he had killed his family when he was young.  
  
He helped her forget her late parents, so why couldn't she help him forget his past. No, forget was not the correct word. You can never forget something once something happens. You can push it in the back of your mind. She had decided, she would help him. No matter what it took. She would help him, because he helped her, and he was still helping her...Helping her find someone precious to her, her sister...  
  
She decided, there was no turning back. And reached out to Soujiro...Just then, he turned around, tears running down his cheeks. She gasped, she had not expected this... No... And felt her own eyes stinging. She won't show him pity, he wouldn't like it, but she couldn't help it. Tears silently ran down her pale flawless porcelain cheeks. And she embraced Soujiro, crying in his chest while he was crying on her head.  
  
Quite a while later, Soujiro looked at Toshiko. "Are you...positive you want to listen to this?" She simply nodded and he sighed, "Very well...I will continue the story..."  
  
"My parents, actually...My father was murdered, that was when I was five. Then at the age of five and a half, my mother died of a disease, she loved my father, but he died, so she had to raise both of us alone. I was five, after all. Then immediately, after my mother died, I was begging on the streets. The people living in this house...They adopted me. And made me work. Hitting me whenever they had time. Finding pleasure at inflicting pain at me." He now began to unconsciously play with Toshiko's hair.  
  
She snuggled up, closer to him. A lone tear sliding down her cheek, she had begun to understand him. But that made no sense. Why was he always smiling then? Why would he be smiling when he was getting hit? Who the devil gave him a weapon to kill with? But quickly resumed listening to his story.  
  
"At first when I came, I cried and screamed. But whenever I did that, they just had more fun. So after a while, I started smiling while they hit me, I smiled, even though it hurt. A lot. When I kept smiling, they would lose interest in me. I was to bring a hundred bags of heavy rice bags filled with rice everyday, or else I wouldn't have dinner. I stayed like this for an year and a half. When suddenly, something changed...my life forever. I don't know whether to regret it or not."  
  
"There was a former hitokiri running around in town, killing people, and he ended up here. Near here, he was about to kill me, but when he raised his sword, he saw me smiling. I was unconsciously doing it again, whenever someone was going to hurt me, I just smiled. And then he said he'd spare my life if I give him some bandages and some food. I did just that. He slowly found out why I was always smiling, had bruises and cuts all over me. And he did something. He gave me a sword, a wakizashi. He told me something, 'The strong survive, the weak just die.'"  
  
"At first, I didn't believe him. But unfortunately, my family found out that I was keeping him. So, they were going to murder me...I...I had no choice. They said something like, 'Since there's a hitokiri wandering around here, people wouldn't think twice, and they'd even get a reward for helping in solving the case.' And so...I...I used...The sword he gave me. I never wanted to kill...I never wanted to kill them... But they forced me to. It was either them or me. I didn't want to die yet, not yet. I did everything they wanted me to, but they never loved me. All I wanted was their love...That was all..."  
  
"That night...Shishio-san asked me if I had cried after I killed. I had said no...But the truth was...I was."  
  
She looked at him shocked, wanting to ask a question, but Soujiro had already started, as if knowing what she was going to ask, "Does Shishio Makoto ring a bell? He wanted to take down the whole Japan an year ago. He was the hitokiri running around. I killed my family with the sword, and since then, I've been following him, training. For nearly a decade, I've been Shishio-san's right hand man. We were going to conquer Japan, but some people got in the way. The Hitokiri Batto-…" He paused, 'shoot...just don't say his name.' And resumed.  
  
"The Hitokiri Battousai in the Ishin shishi and Saitoh Hajime, 3rd Squad Captain of the Shinsengumi. Then there were two more, Sagara Sanosuke and Shinomori Aoshi, former okashira of the Oniwa Banshuu. And we fought. I lost, to Hi...I mean Battousai. And he told me Shishio-san's philosophy about 'the strong survive and the weak just die' was wrong. And he told me to find the truth."  
  
"So here I am. Following what my former enemy asked me to do. But seriously, he's a harsher taskmaster than Shishio-san...At least Shishio-san gave me answers."  
  
Toshiko shook her head unbelievably, "THE Hitokiri Battousai? From the Ishin shishi in the revolution? And Saitoh Hajime? 3rd Squad Captain of the Shinsengumi? And also Sagara...That name seemed familiar. And Shinomoro Aoshi. She's heard lots about him. Soujiro fought with the Battousai and came back alive? And Shishio Makoto was his master? Then Soujiro must be a very good fighter, being Shishio Makoto's right hand man...  
  
"The Battousai...He let you live? And sent you to do something like this? I thought...He was a demon, slashing at everyone he saw."  
  
Soujiro shook his head quietly, "No...he was more than that. I respect him. He gave me life, he gave me hope, and most importantly, he gave me a chance. He disagreed with killing. He made a vow not to kill. He's been protecting ever since the revolution." Seeing Toshiko's astonished face, he added, "And you'll meet him. I'll make sure you meet him."  
  
She looked at him uncertainly, "I don't know...Meeting with the most dangerous man in the world. I don't know if that suits me."  
  
He cut her short, "Then that means you don't want to continue traveling with me. I'm a dangerous man too."  
  
"Well, you're different. You're my friend, my best friend!" She insisted.  
  
'He's your brother-in-law.' He thought quietly to himself, and said loudly, "He's different. Same with me. You'll be surprised at how similar he is with me."  
  
"I doubt it. He's the Hitokiri Battousai." She said stubbornly.  
  
'Oi...I can't imagine what she'll say when she finds out her brother-in-law is the Hitokiri Battousai. I might as well tell her this.' He hesitated slightly. "Toshiko, ever heard of Okubo-kyo getting assassinated?"  
  
"Of course! How could anyone not!"  
  
"He was assassinated by Tenken no Soujiro."  
  
"And...? I don't get what you're trying to say here, Soujiro."  
  
He frowned, she still wasn't thinking property, was she now? He sighed, "Toshiko, my nickname, my nickname...for people that feared me, and the name that Shishio-san gave me, was..." He paused, "Tenken no Soujiro."  
  
She whispered the three words, the three words people feared, just as much as the word Hitokiri Battousai. "Tenken...no...Soujiro......" Ah, so now she knew all about his past and all the secrets he's locked away from everyone. So what now? She was asking herself mentally. Like before, she wasn't angry. She was amazed, this little man standing in front of her, looking like a sixteen, eighteen tops, was Tenken no Soujiro, people feared him as much as the Hitokiri Battousai.  
  
He didn't look exactly weak, but he didn't look like he could've been so... She didn't know what to say. And finally asked, "Soujiro, exactly HOW old are you?"  
  
He almost tripped at the unexpected question, "Nineteen, why?"  
  
"NINETEEN?! You are kidding me, right Soujiro? You look like an sixteen. And you're Tenken no Soujiro. You must be kidding. Tell me you're kidding. Tenken no Soujiro, the right hand of Shishio Makoto, a nineteen years old...Kami-sama. I think I'm hearing wrong..."  
  
"No you're not. If you wanted to know, the Hitokiri Battousai earned his infamous name at the age of fifteen."  
  
"Fifteen. You must be kidding me, Soujiro." He shook his head, "What is with you young people being the most feared killers?!"  
  
He sighed, "It's because...We've all lost our childhood. Rather, we've never had one."  
  
Toshiko stopped and looked up into his eyes, her eyes shining with what looked like new tears threatening to fall, "Gomen Soujiro...And thank you. For trusting me with your past, and telling them to me."  
  
He let her cry in his shirt while he had his arms around her. After a while when she had stopped crying, he helped her stand up slowly and told her, "We've been spending three hours here already. We can get an inn, then take shower, then we can have dinner." She nodded silently. "I still have some money for a few more days, but once we get to Kyoto. We have to work for some money."  
  
"Hai, Soujiro." She gave him a cheerful smile and walked off, and turned around when she noticed her companion wasn't following. "Soujiro, daijoubu?"  
  
"Aa...Daijoubu, Toshiko." And closed the gates to the Kuro's home before letting himself be dragged towards the inn by Toshiko. And informed her, "Oh right, we'll be arriving at Otsu tomorrow night if we go early tomorrow morning. So we should sleep early."  
  
"Hai, hai, Soujiro. Come along now, I don't want to drag you all the way over to the inn!"  
  
And he walked by himself, being the now so cheerful Toshiko and thought to himself how lucky he was to have met her that night on the roads. He had someone to share his past with, and his secrets. She was not angry. She had accepted him for who he was. She had not abandoned him simply because of his past, and he was glad. Very glad. And wondered what her reaction would be when she finds out Himura-san's real identity. He then turned around to catch a glimpse of his old house. This might very well be the last time he'll ever come here. How ironic, he had said that a whole decade ago, when he had followed Shishio-san out of this hell hole.  
  
'I'll be leaving you now, I am no longer afraid of my past. Thank you...Toshiko...' And turned around a corner, and the house disappeared from his view.   
  
'Thank you...Toshiko.'  
  
Author's Notes: I know Soujiro's name wasn't THAT feared, but still...don't blame me! Ohh...They're going to Otsu next! Hehehe...You probably don't have to pass Otsu from Soujiro's hometown to Kyoto...But I make it like that! It's my fic! I want Toshiko to get to know Kenshin better before she gets to Tokyo, or else he's going to be...dead. I don't want her to be TOO pissed at Kenshin. I like Kenshin =p Hai, I just double checked it, hoping I didn't miss anything out. I hope. Anyhow, thanks for everyone that has been reading and reviewing. Reviewing helps, makes me want to type =) Oyasumi and Sayonara, minna!  
  
Okashira - Leader  
Oi - Hey  
Tenken - Heavenly Sword  
Gomen - I'm sorry (Thanks DiaBLo ^^;;)  
Wakizashi - short sword (This was the sword Shishio gave Soujiro, right?)  
Ishin shishi - Kenshin's side in the revolution  
Shinsengumi - Saitoh's side in the revolution  
Hai - Yes  
Daijoubu - Are you okay? 


	6. 5 : Tagagi Aoma

Chapter 6  
  
By Crystal  
  
Author's Notes: [Chibigreen Tanuki] That might be it, because I haven't read the manga or anything, there might be more information on there. I rewatched the anime and it didn't say anything about his parents except the way his 'family' treated him. So I decided to make up my own. Thanks for the information though, I'll keep that in mind next time I write another Soujiro story. ^^;;  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
Even though it's been only the third morning today, Soujiro had already grown accustomed to waking up with a still sleeping Toshiko near him. He liked being near her. She was always smiling at him understandingly. He was going to leave this place that was once his hometown in an hour or so. Toshiko had shown him that she did not mind his past, and for the first time, he finally understood why Himura-san was protecting the weak and the ones he loved most. But he still needed some answers, maybe a visit to the Battousai would help...  
  
Being weak was not wrong, at all, nor was being strong. He finally understood. Shishio-san's philosophy was wrong. He would now stop killing if he didn't have a reason. He would not make heads fly just because he was in a foul mood. He was going to protect Toshiko, the sleeping beauty beside him that made him see the truth. Soujiro has found the truth in an year, while the Legendary Battousai found his in ten. He considered himself lucky. For having found the truth in such a short time and for finding a friend that understood him and trusted him. Most importantly, someone he could depend on. He was thankful.  
  
'Thank you, Kami-sama.' He had been saying that quite a few times since he told Toshiko of his past. He use to always blame him. But it was the first time that he had said 'Thank you.' It was also the very first time he had found life enjoyable. With Shishio-san, it wasn't too much fun, alone on the road, it was even less fun. There was no Yumi-san to talk to, no one was even angry at him anymore. He was alone.  
  
So they would be arriving at Otsu tonight. There wasn't any inns there, and there probably wasn't any family willing to let them live in their house. They would just have to sleep outside for another night.  
  
"...Ohayou, Soujiro." Toshiko has just woken up and was rubbing the sleep from her eyes with the back of her hands and suppressed a yawn. She looked at him strangely. "Soujiro, what are you thinking about?" She asked politely.  
  
At the sound of her voice, he had stopped thinking, "Ohayou, Toshiko. I was just thinking about our trip to Otsu. You don't mind if we sleep outside tonight, do you?"  
  
"Iie, but could we stay in Otsu for a few hours? II want to see and check everything out. After all, we ARE on a trip." She looked at him pleadingly.  
  
"I don't mind, but if we do that, we're going to have to sleep another night outside, since we won't be arriving at night to Kyoto if we stay there."  
  
"Sure!" She folded her futon up excitedly.  
  
Soujiro smiled a real smile at Toshiko when he saw her getting so excited about staying in Otsu for a few hours. She looked cute and beautiful, then stopped, realizing what he had just thought. He scowled himself inwardly, 'Soujiro, now where in the world had THAT come from, you baka!'  
  
Toshiko looked at him amusingly at his dark blue eyes turning a lighter blue and then back to its original dark blue ones. She stifled a giggle, "Having fun debating with yourself, Soujiro?" And burst out laughing at his confused face. "You are clueless, Soujiro. Your eyes are turning from dark blue to a lighter shade of blue, then back to a dark blue!"  
  
He smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of his head, "Was my eyes really doing that?"  
  
"Hai, hai! So what were you thinking of? Or should I say debating yourself at?" She asked curiously.  
  
"Er...kaimu..." And a light pink blush, but certainly visible showed up on his face.  
  
"Nani? Daijoubu, Soujiro? You're not having a flu, are you?" She looked worried sick right now.  
  
"Aa...It's nothing, don't worry about it. I don't get sick so easily." Soujiro said.  
  
Breakfast was nice, and they ate quickly, wanting to start sooner so they would arrive earlier. It was still seven in the morning. Good thing some restaurants opened up early, or else they would have to eat out of their provision bags, which didn't have much stuff left, and the stores weren't opened up yet. It had to last until Otsu. Many old people were already up and having coffee at the restaurants and the couple seemed to be the only two that was under the age of thirty, the others were all old.  
  
Suddenly, an old lady came towards the both of them and turned her face towards Toshiko, "My dear, do you mind if I have a little conversation with this young man here?"  
  
Toshiko was a bit surprised, but did what she was told, an old lady wouldn't harm Soujiro anyways, he could take care of himself quite well. "Hai, I'll be back in a few minutes." She looked back at Soujiro one last time before she walked towards the washroom.  
  
The old lady studied him for a little moment, "Soujiro, is it?"  
  
He was taken by surprise, "H-how...? Do you know my name?"  
  
She took a deep breathe, "Sou-chan...So it is you. No wonder you looked so familiar. That childish face, and your smile..."  
  
"Hai...you are?"  
  
"Tagagi Aoma... The old lady living beside the Seta family."  
  
He sat there, mouth opened wide, bewildered, "Aoma-san...?"  
  
She nodded her head happily, "Hai...It's nice to see you again. And your wife..."  
  
He blushed, "She isn't my wife..."  
  
"Sure, sure. That's a nice young looking lady you got there. She moves with grace and speaks nicely. I'm sure she's a great wife." She tapped the table, in thoughts. And added, "Sou-chan, after your breakfast, come to my house, I want to give you something."  
  
"She isn't my wife." He said stubbornly, "And I can't accept anything from you. You've made me smile whenever I was with you."  
  
Aoma shook her head, "You smile whether or not I take you out for a few minutes, now you're going to come to my house after this, even if it means making me drag you over there, Sou-chan."  
  
"Demo..."  
  
"Don't 'demo' me, Sou-chan. Your wife's back."  
  
He sighed, "She is not my wife."  
  
Toshiko heard Soujiro sigh, "Soujiro, what's wrong?" She asked, a bit worried. He's been acting a little weird today.  
  
"Nothing, Toshiko, Nothing." Soujiro replied.  
  
Aoma gave Soujiro a quick smile, "What a fine lady, Toshiko, am I right?"  
  
"Hai..."  
  
"Tagagi Aoma. Sou-chan, you have great taste. She certainly is a fine woman for someone like you. Toshiko, take care of him, after all you are his wife."  
  
"..." She did not know how to respond to her. Saying no would not be respectful, but saying yes would definitely be lying. She looked at Soujiro for help, but got a weak smile from him. So THAT'S what he was sighing about. "Hai...Tagagi-san."  
  
"See, Sou-chan, Toshi-chan isn't as embarrassed as you are. And you're a man! Anyhow, I presume you've both finished your breakfast, yes?" Inwardly, she smiled triumphantly, she loved teasing Sou-chan, even when he was a kid. And she was having quite the fun of her life seeing both Sou-chan and his 'wife' blush furiously. They definitely had something for each other.  
  
Soujiro finally replied, "H-hai...Aoma-san..."  
  
"All right, come along then lovebirds." She said and walked over to her friend's table saying she had something important to do.  
  
Soujiro would've picked up Toshiko in a second and used his Shukuchi to run out of here if he had not been so respectful. He sighed inwardly. 'I wonder what Aoma-san is up to... She teased him to no end when he was small.' And suddenly felt a hand on his right arm. He looked up at saw Toshiko's bright smile and couldn't help but smile back.  
  
"Soujiro, let's go. Tagagi-san has already gone out." She pulled him softly and he held her hand.  
  
"Hai, Toshiko." Walking there took a few minutes, and they went in, telling Aoma-san that they were in a hurry. They watched her rush to one of her rooms, and come back with a beautifully wrapped box.  
  
"Toshi-chan. This is for you, open it whenever and wherever you want, except here. I can't stand watching people opening presents I gave them." She gave her a soft smile.  
  
"Tagagi-san, I can't accept this."  
  
"Young lady, the least you can do is accept this and take care of Sou-chan. I've never had a son, I have two daughters though, and I love Sou-chan as a son. Only that I couldn't get him away from the Seta family hurting him, or else I would have, a long time ago. Take care of him, and when you two have children, come back, I will want to see them. You are my daughter-in-law."  
  
Soujiro was going to object being Toshiko's husband, but knew better than to say no, he know how stubborn this woman in front of him was. "Hai Aoma-san. Take care of yourself. And I will promise you, when we have children, we'll bring them to see you."  
  
They tightly hugged each other and Aoma gave Toshiko the wrapped box and hugged her 'daughter-in-law'. "I wish you both good luck."  
  
They walked out the door and Toshiko turned around and said when Soujiro was out of earshot, "Tagagi-san, thank you for the present, take care of yourself." She hesitated, she did not mind being Soujiro's wife at all. Not at all. "I would love to be your daughter-in-law..." And walked out the door and heard one last comment.  
  
"I know you would. You love him, a lot. And he you."  
  
Author's Notes: I was not planning on Soujiro meeting this old lady, but I had a little idea forming in my head and it ended up being a whole chapter long. =p Anyhow, I really hope you enjoy this story... Otsu next chapter...I think. Thank you for everyone that has been reviewing and reading. I give you all my regards! It is 12 now, so I think I will go to sleep and wake up at 7 to do my chapter 7 =). Oyasumi and Sayonara, minna-san!  
  
Kami-sama - God  
Ohayou - Good morning  
Iie - No  
Futon - Japanese mattress to sleep on  
Baka - Stupid, idiot  
Hai - Yes  
Kaimu - Nothing  
Nani - What  
Daijoubu? - Are you okay?  
Demo - But 


	7. 6 : Trip to Otsu

Chapter 7  
  
By Crystal  
  
Author's Notes: Extremely mushy =p Even though most of my chapters are mushy. Otsu next chapter. I promise.  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
I would love to be your daughter-in-law...  
  
I know you would. You love him, a lot. And he you.  
  
Soujiro's cheek turned crimson red when he had heard those two comments. The truth was, his sharp ears had heard the whole conversation between the two when he had left. He once heard Yumi-san talk about love. Such a weird word, 'love'. Yumi-san tried explaining, but ended up confusing him more. And she ended with, 'You'll know when the time comes. You don't feel good when you're away from her, and when you're with her, you feel all of a sudden very warm, and not lonely anymore.' Was this what Yumi-san called love?  
  
How he had missed Yumi-san and Shishio-san. Shishio-san was kind of like the father he never had, and Yumi-san was her sister. The only person giving him gifts, whether it was clothes, candies or anything. He missed her dearly. He missed her calling him 'boy' and missed the noise Kamatari-san and Yumi-san would make when they were arguing over who Shishio-san would like better. He missed Anji...Maybe he could sneak in the jail when they were in Kyoto working. Toshiko would never suspect him of breaking in jail just to see his old comrade, and what if she did? She couldn't have done anything, and he could care less of what she thought...Or not.  
  
He hated not knowing what to do. He could either be truthful and tell Toshiko that he was going in to visit someone, or he could lie to her. But if she found out, he would be in deep crap. And he really didn't want her to lose her trust in him. It was already eight at night, they had taken a break at about one to have lunch, then they've been walking until now. It was awfully quiet. Neither Toshiko or him wanted to talk. Toshiko said that she would be opening the package Aoma-san gave to her tonight and she looked like she was deep in thoughts too. Whatever she was thinking about...  
  
'I really wonder what he's being so quiet about...' Toshiko took a sideway glance at Soujiro. 'It's getting dark already, and we haven't spoken much today.' She held the wrapped box tightly, sandwiching the blanket between the box and herself. She held the box like it was her life, 'I wonder what Tagagi-san gave me. I can't wait to open this up.' A bad thought crawled in her head, 'I hope it's not a wedding gift or anything, I'm not married yet...Even though I surely wouldn't mind being married to Sou...stop your thoughts, young lady.' She blushed furiously, thanking Kami-sama that it was night and Soujiro would not be able to see her blush. She was wrong.  
  
Soujiro saw the blush quite well and was wondering what made her blush. Looking up at the heavens, he saw bright beautiful stars shining brightly. It reminded him a lot about himself looking up when he was a child, growing to love the sky at night because of the stars. They looked nice and clear, exactly like they were years and years ago. Nothing has changed about the stars, the only thing that changed was himself. He no longer was the innocent kid that carried a hundred rice bags everyday to be able to eat, he was now a skilled killer with an innocent woman as his companion.  
  
Three weeks, four weeks tops and then they'd meet Himura-san. Then Toshiko would probably leave him there and stay with Himura-san and his wife. Then I'd be alone again and continue my travelling. Such thoughts were so depressing. Alone. That word meant being alone, sleeping in the forests everyday instead of inns even though he had enough money, it meant having no one to talk to, it meant being the 'smiling freak' as Chou referred him to be.  
  
He didn't want that, but did he have a choice? No. Toshiko was to choose her own path, whether she was going to stay with the couple or continue his traveling with him. But he would never let her travel with him. It was too dangerous, who knew what could happen?   
  
There was stupid drunks always picking fights with him because he had a katana by his side which he hadn't used for weeks, but his techniques were not getting any worse. They were still flawless. So that left one choice, her to stay with Himura-san. Unless he was going to stay with them too, but he wasn't going to impose on his ex-enemy that much. Once he found out what was going on, he was out of there.  
  
Sagara-san certainly wouldn't be glad to see him, who else was living with Himura-san? He didn't know. He was going to find out sooner or later anyways... Three more weeks...or four.  
  
Toshiko started humming softly, a song her mother used to hum to her when she was little and had trouble falling asleep. That song would always make nightmares go away. Her legs were getting tired, what she would give for a rest. But by the looks of Soujiro's face, they weren't going to get rest anytime soon. He was deep in thoughts...Again.  
  
The silence was starting to get on her nerve, but she kept quiet about it, if she kept quiet, he wouldn't know. But what surprised her more was what Soujiro was just about to say.  
  
"Doushita, Toshiko?" Even if he was in front of her and not looking at her at all, he could feel the person behind himself getting irritated at something. Whatever it was, he hoped it wasn't him.  
  
"...Aa..." she said after some hesitation, "I'm just wondering what you were thinking about..."  
  
Soujiro raised his left eyebrow and looked at her, "You don't get frustrated because you're thinking of what I could possibly be thinking about."  
  
"Ehh...It's nothing, Soujiro. You shouldn't worry about it." Toshiko replied, calming herself, after all, he had lots to think about, and you couldn't blame him for such a terrible childhood.  
  
"If you say so. I'm here to talk though. If you need help, that is." Soujiro replied. "Oh, and we're resting for the night in a few minutes, when I find a tree nice enough to lean on."  
  
"Thank Kami-sama! I was wondering when you were going to say that." Toshiko looked relieved. Finally, rest. Her feet were sore, her arms and hands were tired of carrying the stuff for the past few hours.  
  
Soujiro chuckled slightly, "Hai, hai. We're resting now." He pointed to a tree a good ten metres away.  
  
"Darn...so far..." She pouted and dragged her feet towards the tree and flopped down hard. "Itai! The stupid ground's hard!"  
  
"Nobody told you to sit down so hard, Toshiko."  
  
"Oh shut up." She pushed him playfully, "Anyhow, I'm sleeping right now, you better be under the blanket tomorrow morning when I wake up, or else I'm going to kick your butt all the way to Osaka!"  
  
"Hai, hai. Oyasumi." He was standing up, looking at her peaceful face, half covered in the blanket.  
  
"Oyasumi, Soujiro..." Her voice was muffled, thanks to the blanket. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, and was falling asleep already.  
  
Soujiro stood there looking at her for a few minutes before he heard her soft breathing, indicating that she was asleep. The moonlight was shining on her pale porcelain face, her rosy lips standing out very nicely. There was certainly no words that could have described her. She was...breathtakingly beautiful. And suddenly noticed a box she was holding onto the whole day.  
  
She had been so exhausted that she had forgotten to open the present Aoma-san gave to her. She was going to be just as exhausted as today for tomorrow, they were going to do the same thing, except tomorrow, they were going to walk around this village for a few hours.   
  
He laid his whole body on the floor and closed his eyes. He didn't want to be in a sleeping position to sleep today. His back ached. Besides, he wanted Toshiko to have the whole blanket, or else she would get side, on the other hand, him, he was used to the weather. If Toshiko was going to kill him when she woke up, then so be it, he wouldn't mind going in a coffin now. His mind drifted off somewhere before falling asleep.  
  
A few hours later, Toshiko woke up and found Soujiro sleeping on the floor. 'Baka...you're going to be a cold like that, Soujiro.' She stood up, 'Soujiro no baka, making me wake up every time I'm comfortable with the blanket.' And wrapped the blanket around Soujiro and snuggled up to him softly, as not to wake him up.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Waking up, he felt something warm and soft close to him, and opened him eyes little by little and was surprised of what, or should he say who was there. 'Toshiko...my little angel' He couldn't help but plant a small kiss on her forehead, wrapping his arms around her slim waist, hoping she was still asleep. 'Arigatou, Yumi-san, for describing what love was. I think I know what love is, and who I love.' "Aishiteru, Toshiko." He whispered softly.  
  
In her dreams, she had just heard a familiar voice, the voice that belonged to someone she secretly love, Soujiro. 'Aishiteru, Toshiko.' She was delighted to hear that. She said something just as softly, "Aishiteru, Soujiro."  
  
Soujiro was sure she was still asleep, but she had heard him. And he was kind of glad. Half of him was embarrassed and the other half was glad. He wouldn't be able to say that again. And he now knew he wouldn't be rejected either. He closed his eyes, ready for another few hours of sleep. The sky was still dark. He was falling asleep, and his last thought before falling asleep was how he was now the luckiest man alive. Sleeping with someone he loved and had his arms wrapped around. He felt warm, safe, happy and loved.  
  
Author's Notes: Heh...Okay. I promise, Otsu next chapter, tomorrow night, I hope. Thank you for those that had been staying with me ever since the beginning of the story, I really appreciate it. Have fun reading this chapter (I hope) and please review! Oyasumi, minna-san!  
  
Kami-sama - God  
Doushita - What's wrong?  
Itai - Ouch!  
Oyasumi - Good night  
Baka - Idiot  
Arigatou - Thank you  
Aishiteru - I love you 


	8. 7 : The Burnt House

Chapter 8  
  
By Crystal  
  
Author's Notes: Thank you everyone that has been reading and reviewing!  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
Toshiko had already opened up the box after awaking, it was the prettiest kimono she saw. The bottom of the kimono was golden, and then turning to red and to white where her chest would be. Red, gold and white flowers were everywhere, making the kimono even more breathtaking. The obi was black with golden roses. Then folding it back in the box.  
  
There was not much to do here in Otsu, they've been walking around the village for a few minutes. Toshiko was having some conversation with some people around the village for a few minutes, and they ran in a kid, about seventeen to eighteen years old.  
  
The kid apologized, "Gomen nasai!" And looked up, his eyes suddenly filled with surprised. "...Tomoe-san?"  
  
Toshiko tilted her head curiously while Soujiro raised his eyebrow, "Tomoe...May I ask who you are?"  
  
"Hisashi Toku desu. Are you Tomoe-san?" Toku asked curiously, his eyes wide with excitement.  
  
"Iie...demo, I'm her sister. You know Tomoe?"  
  
"Hai, she used to live here with her husband years and years ago. It must've been over a decade. Kenshin sold medicine for the whole village and after work, he would play with us all. I remember we used to have mud fights a lot, since that year, it was rainy." He smiled fondly at the memories. "Ah...I really miss him. And his wife, she looked exactly like you, except she didn't smile, and she was always quiet, looking sorrowful. But Kenshin was very nice to her." And then added in a smaller voice, "She was pregnant. But she didn't tell Kenshin yet then."  
  
"Did she tell him later?"  
  
"I don't know, a few weeks later, their house burnt down. And we never got to see them again." Toku looked at Soujiro and back at Toshiko, "May I know your names?"  
  
"I'm Soujiro, and this is Toshiko." Soujiro finally joined in the conversation.  
  
Toshiko bit her lip, "Sou ka...Oneechan and his husband probably died in the fire."  
  
Soujiro put his hand on her shoulder, "Goshinpainaku Toshiko. I saw Himura-san just an year ago. I have no doubt that he's quite healthy."  
  
"Aa...I hope that's true. Toku-kun, would you mind leading us to where they used to live?"  
  
"Sure, the house wasn't rebuilt for some reason. I really miss those two. The whole village like Kenshin. He was really nice most of the time, but sometimes, his eyes would turn yellow, but it would disappear in a few seconds." Toku sighed.  
  
A few minutes later, they arrived at the burnt house and went inside, some part of the furniture were not burnt, example the desk. For a second there, Toshiko thought she heard her sister's voice, but shook it away. Tomoe couldn't be dead, Soujiro said that Himura-san was alive, there was no way her sister died, if she did, then he would have too.  
  
Soujiro was quiet, it has been proved that Himura-san had a wife, but he never told him that. Not that he expected Himura-san to, I mean, we were having a fight. Lots of people was named Himura Kenshin...But this was too weird, the timeline could have been right, and Himura-san could have been sent here with his wife during the Bakumatsu. Nothing was impossible, but for whatever reason his boss sent the Battousai to Otsu, he would have no idea. That is, until he talks with Himura-san.  
  
He suddenly picked up a sweet scent, filling up his nostrils for a second, then vanishing into thing air. It smelt like... white plum... As he closed his eyes, images flashed into Soujiro's head. A younger Himura, one single scar on his left cheek, not yet an 'x'. A women he suspected to be Tomoe in Himura-san's arms. Himura-san's single scar bleeding, beads of blood dropping on the floor and him holding what appears to be a diary. He opened up his eyes.  
  
This was definitely getting weird. He saw Toshiko and Toku-kun opening the drawer in the desk, inside, was a mirror and a bottle of perfume. It looked old. Himura-san...with one scar, his eyes lifeless when it bled, and alive when he held his wife. This was just his imagination, Himura-san had a wife, so what? He was having visions of them in this house over a decade ago, so what? It wasn't real, was it? It must be his imagination.  
  
He looked over to Toshiko. 'white plum...' She would smell good with hakubai-kou. Just like his sister would be. He groaned, 'I don't know Toshiko's sister. I must be going nuts. All this thinking about Shishio-san and Himura-san must finally be getting to me.'  
  
Toshiko picked up the perfume and said softly to herself, "White plum" Toku-kun had left a minute ago, saying that he would be at the village if they needed him. He didn't want to bother them.  
  
She had taken the mirror and the perfume, reminding herself that she was going to give it back to Tomoe when she meets her. She put it in the box, which fit perfectly, she had even stuffed the blanket in the box, one less thing to carry. Before leaving, she turned around and had one last look at the burnt house and left.  
  
Soujiro and Toshiko said their thanks to Toku with him asking if they were going to bring Kenshin and Tomoe-san to visit sometime, and Toshiko had promised him. They waved and went out of sight.  
  
It was noon, and after eating from their bag of provisions, they resumed their trip to Kyoto. Seeing Kyoto once again was going to bring back Soujiro's memories. It was, after all his 'home' once. Oh right, he had to visit Anji, and maybe Chou. Even Kamatari if she was still in Kyoto. He took a glance at Toshiko that was happily humming to herself again. 'Now would be a good time to tell her about visiting Anji, Soujiro.'  
  
"Ano...Toshiko?" He asked hesitantly.  
  
"Hai, Soujiro?" She looked at him, humming happily, so carefree.  
  
He gulped, 'don't let her be mad.' "I'm...er..." He suddenly didn't know what to say anymore.  
  
"Spit it out, Soujiro. You know I won't be mad at you, ne?" She glanced up at him with big cute eyes.  
  
"...In Kyoto...I'm going to break into a jail-"  
  
"NANI?!" She shouted, and quieted down immediately, "What are you talking about Soujiro, are you crazy?!"  
  
"To see my old friend Anji if they don't let me visit him." He finished, trying not to show a bit of fear, he did not know what angry women did.  
  
"Sou ka...All right then." She replied, not caring much at all.  
  
He noticed he was holding his breathe and let out a sigh of relief. Thank Kami-sama she was in a good mood, or else she would probably take his katana and slice him into pieces. He quietly thanked Aoma-san for giving her the kimono and Toku-kun for showing them Himura-san's house where she found the mirror and the perfume.  
  
The rest of the day pasted fast enough, with both of them chit-chatting about their childhood, in Soujiro's case, his past, with Toshiko asking questions and Soujiro answering them. And for the second time of the day thanking Kami-sama because Toshiko had not mentioned the Hitokiri Battousai or asked anything about the hitokiri. And for that, he was glad.  
  
Soujiro had learned that Toshiko was born in Tokyo, back then named Edo but moved after Tomoe and Enishi had gone away. No wonder she had lost connection with her sister.  
  
The night came fast enough, and Soujiro told Toshiko once again what they were going to do the next morning when they wake up the first thing in the morning. They were going to have a little breakfast, then arrive in Kyoto in about another five hours. They would be having lunch, depending on how much distance they had covered by either eating in Kyoto or on the road. Then they would find an inn, that would lent it to them for about a week or so and both of them get jobs, together if possible, but it wasn't that easy to get a job, let alone get two people the same job and same place at the same time.  
  
They ended up sleeping on the soft ground, Soujiro insisting that sleeping with the back against the tree would hurt in the morning with Toshiko admitting defeat and having the blanket cover the both of them on the ground. They were stargazing as a star flew past them and Toshiko immediately closed her eyes and put her hands in a praying position.  
  
Soujiro ended up asking her what she was doing and she told him and made him do the same thing that she had done. With some hesitation, Soujiro closed his eyes and wished for something.  
  
They stayed up watching the heavens and chatting quietly with each other until Toshiko finally gave up and fell asleep, her head on his shoulder as a pillow.  
  
Soujiro knew he was going to have a sore shoulder if he didn't move her now. She was cutting the blood circulation in his arm, but he didn't have the heart to move her head, she looked so peaceful. Sleeping without nightmares. He sometimes wished he was her, always so carefree, sleeping nights without nightmares waking you up so you can sleep till noon.  
  
She would never have any idea how jealous he was. She didn't need to have dreams about killing her own family and having blood on her hands. Blood that would never wash off no matter how many buckets of water you pour on. They would always be stained, until the day he dies, maybe even after then, since he was most likely going to hell.  
  
He found himself suddenly thinking about Himura-san, as for him, he's killed more than Soujiro has had. He wondered how Himura-san could forget about his past and forget the blood stains on his hands, there forever. How he could forget every human he had killed and now live the peaceful life of a rurouni with a family? He himself had remembered every single face he had killed, even the ones that he killed just because he was in a foul mood. Even though Shishio-san asked if he felt anything, he had said no. He was completely unaware of his emotions, until Himura-san gave him a chance to atone the sins he had caused.  
  
What Soujiro didn't know was that Himura Kenshin, the ex-Hitokiri Battousai, the most feared assassin in the whole Japan, had nightmares. That Himura Kenshin felt the same as Soujiro. No matter how much water you used to wash your hands, it was useless. They were stained, for life. But what Soujiro really didn't know was, Kenshin dreams of snow and blood mixed together every night. Kenshin dreams of how he killed his beloved more than a decade ago. And he could never forget, how his wife had looked up at him with all the love she had for him and said that she had forgiven him.  
  
Soujiro didn't know the guilt Kenshin was having to go through ever day. Soujiro lacked one thing. He lacked killing the loved one Kenshin killed. When you kill someone you know and love, it is worst than killing hundreds that you don't know. When you kill someone you love, you regret it for life and there's nothing you can do about it, except promise them that you'll live on. Soujiro hadn't felt what it was to kill the one he loved, or even feel the one he loved killed.  
  
Closing his eyes, he fell into a restless sleep...  
  
Author's Notes: I think Soujiro and Toshiko's going to meet the Kenshin-gumi within 4-5 chapters. Maybe even less, unless I get more ideas. =p I really hoped you liked this chapter, I kinda blabbed on and on about Kenshin and Soujiro. Yeah... =p Thank you for those who are reading and reviewing. I'm kind of sick right now, so I might not be able to update so often. Thank you all and have a nice night and day! Sayonara!  
  
Kenshin: Hai, hai, Crystal-dono has a cold, de gozaru.  
Yahiko: Aww...and it was getting near the Kenshin-gumi too! Well, it'll be doing some people some favours, and least the readers of this fic doesn't need to see busu so soon. *disappointed*  
Kaoru: Stop calling me a busu, Yahiko-CHAN!  
Sanosuke: Yahiko-chan, Raccoon girl, break it up.  
Toshiko: *stares wide eye at the Sano stuck in the wall* You two are scary... *Sweatdrops* Are they always like that, Kenshin?  
Kaoru/Yahiko: *glares at Sano* Stop calling me Yahiko-chan/Raccoon girl!  
Soujiro: Maa, maa...Calm down...Kaoru-san, Yahiko-kun.  
Kenshin: Hai, hai, Toshiko-dono. *Watches the two fight* Ororo...  
  
[I don't know why I bothered to do that. =p]  
  
Gomen nasai - Sorry  
Iie - No  
Demo - But   
Sou ka - I see  
Oneechan - Sister  
Goshinpainaku - Don't worry (Right?)  
Hakubai-kou - White plum perfume  
Ano - Say  
Nani - What  
Kami-sama - God 


	9. 8 : The Shirobeko

Chapter 9  
  
By Crystal  
  
Author's Notes: By the way, I'm going camping on Wednesday till Thursday, so I might not update on Tuesday and I certainly won't be updating on Wednesday since I'm sleeping there! And I don't have a laptop. Darn! I'll try updating on Tuesday, but I have to sleep early since I have to get to school by seven. *groans* Anyways, I hope you enjoy the chapter!  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
A week had already past in Kyoto and they both found a job. They both worked at the Shirobeko. Soujiro was the cook's helper and Toshiko was a waitress. Soujiro worked full time and Toshiko simply had shifts. They had decided to stay for another week because working for only a single week wasn't enough money for the travel, and they had both secretly been saving money for something.  
  
Toshiko had been saving money up for a new set of clothes for Soujiro, his worn out ones was making her feel bad, while Soujiro was saving up for a some hair accessories that would match the kimono Aoma-san gave her. They saw each other rarely in the mornings because Soujiro started working early in the morning and Toshiko started work at ten. They would most likely end up seeing each other at night and having dinner together.  
  
After work, Toshiko would secretly go to a clothes shop looking for a new pair of clothes and seeing which one was made of the nicest material. Sae-san would sometimes leave the Shirobeko with Toshiko after her shift and give her some ideas of what she should buy for Soujiro. Sae-san would end up teasing Toshiko until her face was completely red or until she begged her to stop and admit to her that she liked Soujiro.  
  
Sae-san gave them both a good amount of money for each. After a few days of looking at the clothes, the two women had both chosen a slightly darker blue than his original gi, a while polo shirt and very dark hakama. They had both agreed on that Soujiro looked best in blue. Green was not fitting, yellow just didn't sound right, red wouldn't look nice and magneta didn't seem right either. So they had chosen blue.  
  
Soujiro on the other hand didn't have time to look at hair accessories and told Sae-san to buy Toshiko some hair accessories that would look nice and match the colours. He described the kimono very detailed to Sae-san, therefore, Sae-san knew exactly what they had been planning for each other, though she did keep her mouth quite shut. Both of them had no idea they were helping each other getting stuff.  
  
One day while Soujiro and Toshiko was having their breaks, Sae-san came over and sat to talk with them. There was no customers in the restaurants and the other workers left for home, the cook had left to buy some stuff. Soujiro had full time so he wasn't going to leave anyhow, and Toshiko had double shift that day.  
  
Sae-san smirked evilly as an idea formed in her head, Tanabata was only a week away, and she was going to do whatever she could to get them going together. "Hey Toshiko, Soujiro, you know that Tanabata's only a week away? You two should go out and have some fun together!" She said cheerfully, hoping Soujiro knew what she was hinting at.  
  
Soujiro, being the what-is-love person did NOT get the hint at all, "I don't know, it's just a plain festival every year where everyone goes."  
  
Sae saw the disappointed look on Toshiko's face while Soujiro was looking straight at her, "It's not just a plain festival," she snapped, "You could wish whatever you want to wish for, it's special and it's only once an year!"  
  
Toshiko shrugged and hid her disappointment, "Yeah, Soujiro's right, it's just a plain festival." She stood up, "Sorry, I'll be right back." And continued her way to the washroom.  
  
Soujiro's face showed confusion at Toshiko's sudden coldness and Sae mentally slapped her head and murmured under her breath, "Soujiro, you're a baka." Which she knew he had no trouble hearing at all. She knew a skilled warrior when she saw one, but like Toshiko, she was surprised at how the short kid could have been such a skilled swordsman, of course, she never asked anything about his past. If he wanted to say it, he would say it in time.  
  
"Eh?" Soujiro turned from the retreating form of Toshiko to Sae. "What did you say, Sae-san?"  
  
"You heard what I said, Soujiro."  
  
Soujiro tilted his head, "Yeah, I heard quite well. But why did you call me that?"  
  
Sae sighed, "You are clueless." She paused, "Toshiko. Wants. You. To. Take. Her. To. The. Tanabata." She said, emphasizing every word.  
  
Soujiro's eyebrows knitted in confusion, "No she doesn't, she said it was a plain festival and she agreed with me."  
  
"I'm a woman, Soujiro. I know when another woman wants a man to take her out for some special occasion, and you are going to take Toshiko to the Tanabata. I've already gotten the hair pin for you. You are going to take her to the festival and I'll drag you there myself it that's the last thing I do." Sae finished her speech and sat down, suddenly aware that she had stood up and her hands were punching the table when she had said the last sentence.  
  
Soujiro stood there in complete silence, "Hai, hai, Sae-san. I will take her to the festival, but watch your hand, you might hurt your fist if you keep punching the table like that" He gave a smile.  
  
Sae sighed, "Don't you ever get tired of smiling, Soujiro?"  
  
"Iie. Anyhow, thanks for buying the hair pin for me, I'll pay you back tomorrow."  
  
Sae stood up, "Anyhow, could you watch the Shirobeko for a while? I want to take Toshiko shopping for a while, we won't be late for her shift to start. We'll be back in about two hours!"  
  
Soujiro sweatdropped at Sae-san when she stood up, disappeared, and reappeared, dragging a Toshiko behind her.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Demo Sae-san! If I buy the clothes today, I'll be spending all the money I saved up all week, and I won't be able to feed myself!" Toshiko said at the clothes store.  
  
"I'll pay for half today, then you can pay me back at the end of next week, okay?" Sae asked and she replied with a nod, "Good. Danaji-san, this medium blue gi, white polo shirt and the dark blue hakama. Oh, and a pair of socks too!" And she turned around to Toshiko, "We need to get Soujiro a new pair of waraji too! His are getting worn out."  
  
Before Toshiko could say anything, an overly excited Sae had dragged her out the shop with a bag of clothes and into a shoe store. As Sae finally stopped, Toshiko said, "What are you getting so excited for?! I'm just buying him a pair of clothes!"  
  
Sae winked at her, "I talked Soujiro into going to the Tanabata with you." She expected a very happy Toshiko, but instead, she was wrong. Toshiko gave her a quick smile, and Sae asked her what was wrong.  
  
"It's really nothing, really. But if you talked Soujiro into going to the festival with me, then there's no point in all. I don't want it to be like I forced him into it. I want him to go there with me if that's what he wishes." She added with a sad smile.  
  
Sae put her hand on her shoulder, "Soujiro likes you. That's all I'm going to say." She turned over to the person at the counter and bought a pair of waraji and they headed back to the Shirobeko with Sae telling Toshiko that Soujiro likes her a lot.  
  
Toshiko just kept quiet and let Sae talk on and on about whatever she was talking about. She wasn't paying much attention and her eyes suddenly lingered on the bag she was carrying. "Sae-san! What am I suppose to do? I can't bring this to the inn or he'll know and if he sees me enter with that bag, he's going to know! Either way, he's going to know." She pouted.  
  
"Now, now, don't worry, I'll hold it and tell him it's for my boyfriend." Sae held the bag.  
  
Toshiko grinned, "A boyfriend, eh?" And watched triumphantly as she received a glare from a blushing Sae. "We're back, Soujiro!" she said as she entered the Shirobeko.  
  
"Okaerinasai, Toshiko, Sae-san." Soujiro gave Toshiko a smile.  
  
Sae said, "I'm going to put this stuff back in my room, be right back." And walked in the direction of her room.  
  
"Ano...Toshiko? Do you want to go to the festival with me?" Soujiro tilted his head cutely as he asked.  
  
Toshiko tried to hide a blush as she smiled back, "Hai, Soujiro."  
  
Then was interrupted by Sae calling to Toshiko, "Toshiko! Come in here for a second!" Toshiko gave Soujiro a quick smile look and ran towards Sae's room.  
  
Soujiro smiled a true smile, unlike the one he had smiled when he was Tenken no Soujiro. He was happy Toshiko accepted his invitation, he'd have to thank Sae-san later for talking him into asking Toshiko to the festival. He was afraid of rejection, even though he now knew that Toshiko likes him. He sighed, he'd have to see her in that beautiful kimono Aoma-san gave her, and the hair pin Sae-san chose. He thought back to the incident a week ago in Otsu, he'd have to ask Sae-san to buy hakubai-kou. He was sure she'd smell nice in it, he didn't want her using her sister's, since it DID belong to her sister, and it might not be usable, after more than a decade in the drawer of a desk.  
  
Author's Notes: Thank you for reading this chapter, hope it's not too short, *checks word count* anyhow, I hope you enjoy it and thank you to those who read my story and reviewed. Probably another 4 chapters until Tokyo. I don't know. Thank you all and Sayonara!  
  
Gi - Traditional shirt worn by men (Think of Kenshin's MAGNETA shirt.)  
Hakama - Traditional pants worn by men.  
Baka - Idiot, stupid  
Hai - Yes  
Iie - No  
Waraji - Soujiro's shoes  
Okaerinasai - Welcome home (That can be used as welcome back, right?)  
Ano - Say...  
Hakubai-kou - White plum perfume 


	10. 9 : It Bleeds

Chapter 10  
  
By Crystal  
  
Author's Notes: [DiaBLo] I don't know, I checked it on the anime and it said waraji. I'm not sure, so it would be nice if someone told me. =) By the way, gomen I didn't update last night. I was sick and I had to study Shakespeare, test coming up on Monday. Sorry, sorry ^^;;.  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
It was July 7th 12 year into the Meiji era. Today was the last night they would be staying at Kyoto, they would be off to Tokyo by tomorrow morning.  
  
Soujiro had given Toshiko the hair pin and hakubai-kou he had asked Sae to buy. He was already dressed in the clothes they bought for him and he was very pleased, he looked very nice in them indeed.   
  
The hair pin Sae picked for Toshiko was lovely, it matched with the kimono perfectly. Toshiko was dressing up while Soujiro was waiting outside the room. When she stepped out the room, Soujiro had forgotten to breathe, she looked simply...breathtaking.  
  
While Soujiro had forgotten to breathe, Toshiko was blushing at the handsome Soujiro in front of her. He looked a lot more handsome with the new set of clothes she'd bought him. She blushed and Soujiro remembered to breathe again.   
  
Her hair was tied up in a neat bun decorated with the hair pins Sae had bought, the black obi matched the kimono perfectly and she looked elegant. Soujiro held out his hand and she took it. Before stepping out on the streets, they had both written their wishes on coloured strips of paper and hanged it on bamboo branches in the inn's lobby.  
  
Toshiko was very excited, she was going to see fireworks with Soujiro tonight! She was also looking forward to meeting Sae-san, perhaps with a boyfriend?  
  
Colourful streamers of Japanese paper were hung everywhere and there were every kind of origami hung on the bamboo poles on both side of the streets. There were plenty of drunks already on the streets and they would have to avoid them.  
  
Soujiro had brought his katana like usual just in case something happened, but he did doubt it. He'd never had to use it when he was with Toshiko. He sighed, he had thought of himself living a normal life these past two weeks when he was working at the Shirobeko, he didn't mind it a lot, but what he hated about the job was washing dishes.  
  
Around a week later after he left Anji to search the truth, the thought of ever living a normal life scared him, but it really wasn't that bad at all, now that he's tried it. He briefly thought about Himura-san washing dishes and cooking and doing chores, thoughts alone sent him laughing inwardly. Little did he know that Himura-san does do all these, including doing the laundry.  
  
They were walking to a restaurant for dinner and sake and when they got there, they saw Sae with an average looking guy. Toshiko waved at her and Sae invited them to sit with them, which they agreed to. Otherwise, they would have to wait for a table. They spent dinner knowing Sae-san's 'boyfriend' and had fun having a conversation. Soon enough, they went separate ways, the fireworks were going to start in about half an hour.  
  
Soujiro lead her to a tall building and held her tight while he jumped on the roof, the fireworks would look perfect here. He saw her turn to him and smile which he smiled back and started another conversation about Kyoto and Tokyo, even about each other's past sometimes, until...  
  
The fireworks started.  
  
They had stopped talking immediately and Toshiko whipped her head around to see the fireworks. Soujiro heard Toshiko whisper to herself about 'beautiful' and felt her head on his shoulders. He wrapped his left arm around her back and smelt white plum.  
  
"...It's beautiful, ne?" She said quietly.  
  
"Aa..." He replied just as quietly.  
  
"I wish it was like this everyday..." Toshiko said, "With you..."  
  
Soujiro turned his head slowly and looked at her.  
  
Toshiko blushed, "Woops...did I say that out loud?" He nodded, "heh, heh, heh. You didn't hear that." And turned her head back to the fireworks, acting as though the fireworks were very interesting. Soujiro saw right through the façade but said nothing.  
  
The fireworks ended. Toshiko was sleeping on Soujiro's shoulder, 'she must be exhausted.' He smiled, carried her in his arms and jumped off the room lightly and making sure that he would not wake her up, and he didn't.  
  
He laid her on the bed and started to pack all their stuff. They had already bought whatever they needed for the trip. They were both going to wear their old clothes so the new ones wouldn't be ruined on the trip. After packing up, he unrolled his own futon and fell asleep.  
  
*Tsuyo kereba iki, yowa kereba shin. Shishio-san's voice rang in his head as he said these words, or rather, he dreamt he said these words.*  
  
*This wasn't real, of course not! Shishio-san was dead. I thought I was never going to have any more of these dreams anymore...'*  
  
*Father getting murdered, mother at the funeral with himself weeping, the Seta family hitting him, himself smiling when getting hit, Shishio-san showing up and giving him a sword, slaying his family. Tons of faces of those he killed flashed before him, and then finally, Himura-san and him getting ready for the last hit. His own sword snapped and he flew in the air.*  
  
*He knew this was only a dream, but he felt tears down his cheek and a hand brushing them away. 'Toshiko...'*  
  
He opened up his eyes, it was already morning and Toshiko sat beside his futon wiping away his tears. He groaned, it felt like he just slept.  
  
"Daijoubu ka?" Toshiko's concerned voice rang in his ears.  
  
"Aa...daijoubu" he replied.  
  
"Dreaming about your past?" she asked, he nodded, "Sou ka. Hmm...Looks like I fell asleep on the roof top while watching the fireworks." She looked down at her clothes. "Anyways, I promised Sae-san that we'd be there one last time before we left Kyoto. She promised us breakfast."  
  
"Hai, hai." Soujiro replied, looking out to the scenery, Kyoto was certainly beautiful. He hasn't been here for an whole year. He whispered softly in the wind, "Tsuyo kereba iki, yowa kereba shin. Shishio-san, you taught me that. But I have the right to believe what you said was wrong. Everyone has the right to live, ne Himura-san? Even the weak." With that, he turned around and followed Toshiko out the door with all their belongings.  
  
* * * * *  
  
'You...remarkably made it rain. Rain of blood.'  
  
'It's getting cold... You were near the window.'  
  
'Have you read all these?'  
'No...Not one. They're perfect for falling asleep.'  
  
'So you judge people's right to live. But you even leave that to others. You just do as you're told.'  
'If I know a lot about the other person, I'll have doubts.'  
  
'Run the way we came.'  
'Don't you know? A sword needs a sheath.'  
'What are you saying?'  
'How much longer will you continue killing people? I want to see with my own eyes...  
...my very own eyes.'  
  
'So we go to Otsu...  
...as newly weds...'  
  
'Kimi wo mamoru. Kimi wo, shiawase wa, ore wa mamoru.'  
'Hai.'  
  
'Gomen... na...sai A...na...ta'  
  
'TOMOE!!'  
  
"NO!" Kenshin woke up suddenly, having the same dreams again and again playing in his head. He groaned. Snow, blood, rain...and white plum. It seemed like he'd never stopped dreaming about them. The souji slid open and Kaoru, Sano and Yahiko's heads popped up. Sano had slept at the dojo last night because he stayed until late at night and was too lazy to go back home.  
  
"Daijoubu, Kenshin?" Kaoru asked.  
  
He closed his eyes, "Aa, Kaoru-dono. Sessha is fine, de gozaru. It's just...a nightmare." He stood up and continued to the kitchen. Cooking breakfast, then laundry, maybe a bath. Then back to cooking lunch.  
  
"Kenshin, go take a bath. I'll cook breakfast for today, you don't look too well." She pushed him in the direction of the bath house.  
  
He was going to agree because he didn't want to die of food poisoning, but he listened, he was too tired to argue with her anyways. The dreams seemed more vivid than usual, right now, the smell of blood and white plum still flooded his senses. A bath would do him good. He walked to the bath house exhausted, not hearing the insults from Yahiko, Kaoru-dono and Sanosuke.  
  
Once out of the bath, he wanted to plunge back down in it, it was so warm and comfortable, but on second thoughts, he better check out how Kaoru-dono might be doing with the kitchen, she might have already burnt it down already. Quickly dressing up, he went towards the kitchen.  
  
Fortunately, nothing was burnt and Kaoru turned around and saw Kenshin standing there, and gasped. Sano and Yahiko turned to look at him and their eyes were as large as saucers.  
  
"Nani?" Kenshin asked with his usual goofy rurouni smile plastered on his face.  
  
"...It's..." Kaoru hesitated, "...It's bleeding..."  
  
"Nani?" And he felt a drop of thick sticky blood roll down his left cheek and hesitantly went up to touch it and withdrew his hand, then looked at it. Blood was on his hands, his eyes widen. "Tomoe..."  
  
Author's Notes: I would guess no more than 3 more chapters until the both of them meets Kenshin. Oh, by the way, Kenshin has not told anyone about Tomoe except Kaoru. He's fought with Enishi already, but lied to the others that it was just someone from his past, not telling them about Tomoe. I kinda changed it, but eh =p Getting really close to where Toshiko meets Kenshin ^^;; Thanks for all the reviews, guys!  
  
Hakubai-kou - White plum perfume  
Futon - Japanese mattress to sleep on  
Tsuyo kereba iki, Yowa kereba Shin - The strong survive, the weak just die  
Daijoubu ka? - Are you all right?  
Daijoubu - I'm fine  
Sou ka - I see  
Kimi wo mamoru - I will protect you  
Kimi wo, shiawase wa, ore wa mamoru - I will protect your happiness  
Hai - Yes  
Gomen nasai - I'm sorry  
Anata - What wives calls husbands  
Souji - Japanese door  
Sessha - 'I' for Kenshin, stands for 'the unworthy one' 


	11. 10 : The Meeting In Tokyo

Chapter 11  
  
By Crystal  
  
Author's Notes: I'm most likely not going to post on Tuesday because I need to sleep at about like, nine o'clock that day, got to get up at five for my camping trip. *groans*  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*   
  
Kenshin had refused to let Megumi-dono to look at the wound. She wouldn't find out what was wrong anyhow. It's been bleeding non-stop most of the time, for a whole week now. He knew what was wrong... Someone was after him.  
  
Kaoru was worried. Kenshin was getting farthur and farthur away from them every minutes. 'He would either look at the sky while touching his bleeding scar or he would do his chores quietly. Kenshin...you never tell me anything. Even your fake goofy rurouni smile is gone. It's always replaced with a frown and your eyes don't seem to be paying attention to anything except your own thoughts. I'm really worried, won't you ever tell me what's wrong, Kenshin?'   
  
His eyes weren't always the usual clear amethyst anymore, most of the time, he would have a kind of lifeless amethyst eyes, deep in thoughts, with hints of amber. 'Kenshin...your scar, Tomoe-san...Does this have anything to do with Tomoe-san? You never tell me anything. I just want to know. Why do you always have to keep your secrets hidden? I want to help, Kenshin.' Kaoru looked at Kenshin in front of his laundry, scrubbing the clothes.  
  
Sanosuke, Yahiko and Megumi were just as worried, he talked to them less and less now, his eyes always far away and lifeless, his mouth always moving, but never saying something loud enough for them to hear, no matter how near they were. All four of them had noticed the yellowish coloured eyes. The three of them had even less idea of what was happening to Kenshin. They never knew he had a wife, they never knew he killed her. The only thing they knew was that he was the Hitokiri Battousai long time ago, and they had accepted the fact.  
  
The former Battousai once again reached up and touched his cheek like he has been for the last couple of days every minute. Other people might've thought the infamour Hitokiri Battousai was a cold-blooded murder, not caring who he killed, but they were wrong. He, himself knew better than to believe that, sometimes, he did wish they were right. If he didn't care, he wouldn't have these killing headaches, if he didn't remember, all was going to be fine, or not... But... Those memories were going to stay engraved in his memory forever, whether he liked it or not. Nothing in the world would wash it off.   
  
He still remembered clearly his first assasination. He remembered how Kiyosata Akira had given him the first scar, how he had met Tomoe on the streets, how Yukishiro Tomoe, no, Himura Tomoe had completed the cross scar on his left cheek. How he had killed her, how she had said with her last breath and what she called him...  
  
*Anata...*  
  
How he vowed not to kill anymore. His wife, his precious Tomoe... She understood him, unlike all the others. She had thought of him as a human, one that feels pain, love and sorrow. He was not only a killing machine made from skin and flesh, unlike other people, she saw him as a human. And she had loved him, at the end, she had truly loved him. Even though he had killed her fiancée, even though at first she had come on a mission to kill him. But she didn't, instead, she gave him a chance by risking her own life to show him happiness and life. It was kind of like what he did to Soujiro, he was proud.  
  
God how he missed her. Thirteen years... He hasn't seen her face nor heard her voice. He didn't know how he was still sane. Just then... he felt a tap on his shoulder and imidietaly fell back to his Battousai personality and unsheathed his sword and put it near whoever's throat it was. 'Jasmine......Kaoru-dono!' And stopped. "Sumanai."  
  
Kaoru fell on her bottom, with fear as the other three looked at Kenshin unbelievably. Sano helped Kaoru up, and looked up to Kenshin, but he had already zoomed out again, his eyes cold. But he was saying something loud enough for them to hear. Kaoru signaled everyone to be quiet but couldn't keep the thought out of her head, 'He had turned into the Battousai, and he had said 'Sumanai' instead of something more polite, like 'Gomen nasai...''  
  
"It's getting cold... You were near the window... That's what you said, ne, koishii? After I pushed you down along with the stack of books?" He smiled slightly, a painful smile as his eyes soften, "Gomen nasai, Koishii... I never told you that, did I? And I have to say arigatou too." He smiled bitterly, and shook his head. Kenshin kept mumbling to himself.  
  
Sano dragged all three of them in the dojo. "Kenshin has snapped, he's gone insane. Koishii? He's never had a wife! What the hell is he talking about?!" Megumi and Yahiko shook their head, having no idea at all, and he looked at Kaoru. "Jou-chan? You know something?"  
  
"Sano...It's not my story to tell. But you'll find out, I think." Kaoru stood up and heard a knock at the gates. All three of them went to investigate with Kenshin following them, it seems like he's gone back to earth...for now.  
  
As Kaoru opened the door...  
  
"Hello Himura, Kaoru, Tori-atama, Yahiko-chan, Megumi-san!" Misao yelled at them.  
[Minna, Misao calls Kaoru, Kaoru, Kaoru-san or what? I kinda forgot... ^^]  
  
"Hi Misao-chan!" Kaoru greeted her, the others were pretty quiet.  
  
Misao looked at them and raised her eyebrow, no argueing about calling Sano Tori-atama? No insults coming from Yahiko for calling him CHAN? Megumi san looked tired. And Himura...amber...blood...from his cross scars. What the hell was wrong? "What the hell is wrong?"  
  
"Kaimu." They all replied.  
  
Kenshin went back to his room like nothing happened. This was certainly pissing all of them off, excluding Misao, since she was confused.  
  
Misao had been planning to stay here for around five days, but things in the dojo weren't going any smoother, and Kaoru wanted Misao to stay, since she said things were really quiet in the dojo, without Kenshin and his usual 'Oro's and without the four of them insulting each other. Misao agreed, she sent a letter to Jiya telling him he would be back in a few weeks, just saying that she really liked having Kaoru's company. Even though she would miss her Aoshi-sama.  
  
Misao has been staying in the dojo for a week now, cheering everyone up, and it had worked very well with her bouncy and cheerful personality, except on Himura though. She had noticed he had gotten even colder and his scar wasn't doing any better. Today, she had found him in his room as he sat with his back leaned against the wall with his eyes hidden by his long bangs and he was holding tightly onto what seemed to be a diary and a tanto. He was too deep in his thoughts to notice she was there anyhow, and she had told Kaoru she was going to the market.  
  
The truth was, he felt Misao there and had struggle to keep the tear from rolling down his cheeks, once Misao had left, it was already freely moving down. 'I wish you were here right now, Tomoe. Only now did the scar bleed, had the memories feel so vivid, so unlike most of my dreams. It feels real. Is someone after me? Or are you coming to see me, since I'm dying soon? Is that why the scar you and Akira left are bleeding? I'm still scared to open your diary, after that one single time before I came to the mountain to kill you, I've been scared, afraid that if I do, I'll endanger one of my loved ones. It's been thirteen years...Why can't I still open it up? The blood from my scars are still in your diary, I'm sure...'  
  
* * * * *  
  
All of a sudden, when Misao was in the market, she heard someone scream something before someone clamped their hands over whoever screamed's mouth. It was something like "SOU-!" Following her instincts, she jumped on the roof and followed the sound she heart a few seconds ago and saw three men in an alley with a woman, one man has his hand clamped over her mouth.  
  
"Stop that right now, if you want to live."   
  
Misao turned to the familiar voice and was surprised, his smile was still there, but there was a hint of anger in them, she hissed, "Tenken no Soujiro."  
  
He looked up, "Oh! Hey! You're that girl with Himura-san an year ago!" Then he looked back at the three men with a smile on his face, "Leave her alone. Now." He unsheathed his sword.  
  
"Hey boss, that's Tenken no Soujiro! Best of the ten swords from Juppon Gatana! Count me out on this!" the man said, and ran away, the second one followed quickly as scared as a rabbit.  
  
"Wimps. And you?" Soujiro looked at him, he gulped.  
  
"I'll leave your girl alone!" And scampered off.  
  
Soujiro gave a grin at Toshiko, "Daijoubu ka, Toshiko?"  
  
"Soujiro! Where the heck were you?!" Toshiko yelled at him.  
  
"Maa, maa, gomen! I was just trying to find out where Himura-san lived!" Soujiro put his hands up defensively.  
  
"Tenken no Soujiro." Misao hissed and jumped off the roof.  
  
"Aa...What's your name again?" He asked innocently.  
  
She glared at him, "Makimachi Misao. And don't you forget it. Leave this town before I kick you out."  
  
He held his hands up defensively again, "Gomen, Makimachi-san, I just want to find Himura-san."  
  
"You are coming in THIS TOWN to find Himura? Don't you think you've been enough trouble to him, TENKEN." Misao spat.  
  
"Seta Soujiro...Makimachi-san. And this is Yukishiro Toshiko. I promise I come in peace, you can hold my katana too if you want. Toshiko wants to see Himura-san for some...personal reasons, and it has nothing about fighting, she can't fight." He held his katana out for Misao.  
  
Misao sighed, "I'm sorry for snapping at you, I'm just in a bad mood. Himura isn't in the best mood, which puts everyone in a miserable mood. Sorry Seta-san. Here, come, I'll bring you to Himura." She turned around to looked at Toshiko, "Yukishiro-san." She bowed.  
  
Toshiko bowed back, "Makimachi-san. You say, Himura-san's in a bad mood, how come?"  
  
She shook her head, "No idea. Been like that since I came from Kyoto to visit them."  
  
The two girls walked back to the dojo chatting happily while Soujiro stayed behind them and listened to them, sometimes participating in the conversation if it included him. Just when Misao opened the gates, Kenshin walked out with the Sano, Kaoru and Yahiko and saw them.  
  
"Soujiro!" Kenshin said happily, back to the old rurouni, then turned his gaze beside him. "Tomoe..." All three of them certainly heard him clearly. "TOMOE!" and he ran towards her.  
  
Toshiko looked up in shock at a red haired man running towards him, then embracing her. What in the world? She looked at Soujiro how was just as confused, and so where all the others that saw the scene, except for one, a woman with her raven hair tied up in a ponytail, she knew what was happening and came towards me. "Nice to meet you...Tomoe-san."  
  
"NANI?!" Toshiko and Soujiro shouted at once and the red haired main with the bleeding cross scars on the left side of his face pulled back. "TOMOE-SAN?! What the heck are you talking about?!" Toshiko said. "I'm not Tomoe! I'm Toshiko, Yukishiro Toshiko. Tomoe's younger sister."  
  
Kenshin stood dead in his tracks as reality sank in. "Toshiko...I never knew...Tomoe...had a sister..."  
  
Toshiko jumped up excitedly, "Are you neechan's husband?"  
  
Sano, Yahiko, Misao and Soujiro stood there, even Megumi who had just arrived to watch the scene had stopped breathing waitng for the answer.  
  
Kenshin didn't know what to say, 'Am I Tomoe's husband? Well...I was! But...Keyword...WAS. But technically...I still am...since she still is Himura Tomoe.' He looked at her square in the eyes knowing that he'll be regretting this, he going to have to tell her about his sister's death and who caused it, and it's going to be one pain the in ass. "Himura Tomoe...yes, she's my wife."  
  
Sagara Sanosuke, Myojin Yahiko, Takani Megumi and Makimachi Misao didn't know what the hell to say and all came up with the same sentance, "WHAT? You had a wife?!"  
  
Soujiro wasn't as surprised because he was expecting that. Kaoru just nodded, "Tomoe-san is Kenshin's wife." And they all looked at her as if she was insane.  
  
Kenshin didn't say pay attention to their response, "Toshiko...Could you come here? I have...something to explain to you."  
  
Toshiko nodded, "Can Soujiro come with me?" She had a bad feeling about this, none of his close friends knowing that he had a wife. She wanted at least someone she was familiar of to come. Kenshin nodded his head and signaled them into his room.  
  
Once they disappeared, they all asked Kaoru the same question, "How the hell do you know if she's Kenshin's wife?"  
  
Then she answered simply, "He told me." And turned around to walk back to her room, she was not going to cry now. 'Wait till you get to your room, Kamiya Kaoru!' What the others didn't know was, she knew something like this would happen the very day Kenshin's scar started to bleed, and from that day, she's been crying herself to sleep everyday...  
  
Author's Notes: By the way, no matter how much I like Kenshin being with Tomoe, this is NOT a K/T fic. I am a K/T fan, like most of you know, and I might do something with that. But this should, I think be a K/K fic. Enishi probably should have the diary, but whatever =p I'm sooo sorry I won't be able to write tomorrow, like I said at the top! Sowwie! Hope you like this, I just didn't know what to write, keep blabbing on and on like a parrot =p I hope you enjoy this chapter! *Finally! Toshiko meets Kenshin!*   
  
Sumanai - I'm sorry  
Arigatou - Thank you  
Tori-atama - Rooster head [Sano's nickname, as you all know ^^;;]  
Kaimu - Nothing  
Tanto - Tomoe's dagger  
Daijoubu ka - Are you all right?  
Gomen - Sorry 


	12. 11 : Battousai's Past

Chapter 12  
  
By Crystal  
  
Author's Notes: Notice Kenshin doesn't say sessha or de gozaru anymore. I did it on purpose and he'll resume his rurouni talk in a while =p. Also notice how he doesn't call Toshiko Toshiko-dono. By the way, this chapter about Kenshin's past is very short and summarized, not very well written either.  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
When the three of them settled down in Kenshin's room, he finally began to talk, "Toshiko...I think I should start from my childhood, so you would not ask me anymore questions about why and so I do not need to go back. I was born in a family with an older sister and two parents, back then, when I was still young, my name was Shinta. It was not Kenshin."   
  
"Kenshin was a name my shishou gave me later on in my life. I was named Himura Shinta, my sister was Koshiyo. Then one day, my father died of a disease spreading around town, cholera [right?]. After another week, my mother died along with him. Soon enough, my sister and I were sold to slave traders. Different groups, I never saw her again. After an year, a group of bandits attacked us, and I was protected by three ladies that I met a while ago. Kasumi-san, Akane-san and Sakura-san. Before they were going to finish me off, a powerful swordsman killed them and saved me." He paused for a few seconds before continuing.  
  
"And left me, then I buried everyone, bandits and the slaves and afterwards, I met with the swordsman again. He asked me my name, and when I replied him, he said it didn't fit a swordsman, that's how I got the name Kenshin, Heart of Sword. I then trained with him for years of the kenjutsu Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu. At the age of fifteen, I knew that many people from the Bakumatsu were suffering, I asked my shishou to let me help the people who were suffering, but he wouldn't let me, but I left him to help the people...It was the worst decision I have ever done. That was why I haven't gotten my succession technique until an year ago." He glanced at Soujiro.  
  
"An year later I left the mountain, I murdered someone called Kiyosata Akira. He gave me the first scar." He fingered the scar going down his left cheek vertically. "A few weeks later...That was when I met Tomoe...On the streets of Kyoto when I was killing some ninja that was trying to take me by surprised. When I had finished off the ninja, Tomoe had blood on her umbrella, face, clothes...and she said..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Kenshin tightened his grip on his sword, 'Should I kill her, or not? I cannot be seen. But, she is innocent.'  
  
"You...remarkably made it rain. Rain of blood." Kenshin dropped his sword and this mysterious woman walked for a few steps before she fell unconscious. With his god speed, he caught her and softly flung her over his shoulders, trying to make her ride as comfortable as possible, even though she was unconscious.  
  
The next day, he had learned that her name was Yukishiro Tomoe. She was the prettiest woman you ever saw, she had everything. Beauty, grace, she was also kind.  
  
One day while he was having a nap over by the window, she had draped her scarf over him, afraid that he might catch a cold, but by doing that, she risked her life. The next second, he woke up and had his sword in front of your throat, nearly killing you. The next second, he smelt your perfume and apologized to her.  
  
Another few weeks later, Tomoe had asked Kenshin to accompany her outside because she had free time and she didn't want to go alone. It was the Gion festival. They were having a pretty serious conversation about Kenshin.  
  
"So you judge people's right to live. But you even leave that to others. You just do as you're told." Tomoe said, visibly irritated, but otherwise emotionless.  
  
"If I know a lot about the other person, I'll have doubts" Kenshin said softly, still tasting the sake. It's been a while since his sake hasn't tasted like blood...Maybe because...of the woman in front of him? Tomoe's eyes widened a bit at the answer and Iizuka suddenly rushed in saying something about being attacked. Tomoe and Kenshin ran until they saw a group of Shinsengumi. Tomoe was not scared but was holding Kenshin from behind, she was not going to abandon him now.  
  
"Run the way we came." Kenshin ordered.  
  
"Don't you know? A sword needs a sheath." Tomoe said.  
  
"What are you saying?" Kenshin was irritated, this woman wouldn't listen to him, and he was about to have a fight! She's crazy!  
  
"How much longer will you continue killing people? I want to see with my own eyes... ...my very own eyes." Tomoe said stubbornly, refusing to run away, trying to stay and get the boy to stop killing. Some of these days, he would regret it. Kenshin ran forward and slashed the person on his left, then the one on the right, in front and then finished the last Shinsengumi by stabbing him straight in the throat. He pulled his sword out and saw another Shinsengumi group and was going to go kill them when he felt Tomoe's grip and saw her shake her head. He was then lead off by Tomoe.  
  
They reached their inn and got their stuff and Kenshin went out first, Tomoe stayed a few seconds inside before coming outside carrying a bucket of water with irises in it. And he caught sight of Katsura. "Katsura-san."  
  
Katsura then ordered Tomoe and Kenshin to move to Otsu as fast as possible as newly weds. He said married couples were not as suspicious, by now, Kenshin has known Tomoe for four months.  
  
They lived together as couples for another two months with Tomoe cooking. They had planted daikons and Kenshin was proud of them. He had even told Tomoe he liked his life right now. Little did they know that they were growing closer to each other each day. That day, Enishi came to visit, and Kenshin had certainly felt the young man's glare on him. He shook it off, thinking it was because he had married Tomoe.  
  
After selling medicine that day while walking home, Tomoe had fallen on the snow and Kenshin had promised to protect her. She was so happy, but shocked. That night at dinner, Kenshin had told her of his childhood while Tomoe had told him about Akira. They had finally told each other their feelings a little later. After making love, Kenshin had promised her once again that he was going to protect her forever, he was also going to protect her happiness. And she had agreed, when she did, she looked so happy.  
  
The next month and a half, everything passed nicely with Kenshin and Tomoe sharing kisses and hugs and selling medicine, sleeping together in the same futon. Kenshin had finally stopped sleeping in his sitting position while carrying his katana. Tomoe had insisted he sleep with her.   
  
Everything was so peaceful. Tomoe thought she could forget her old life and carry on her new one with Kenshin, but she was wrong. That night while Kenshin was sleeping with her, she had gotten a message, she was going to go up to the mountains tomorrow morning. She didn't sleep that night, she stayed up writing in her journal, writing what she knew would be the last entry. Leaving it on the table so Kenshin would read it later, she went outside, but before closing it, she whispered, "Sayonara, second man to love me."  
  
Early in the morning, Kenshin woke up with Tomoe gone and Iizuka came running in, telling Kenshin about who being the traitor. Kenshin walked up the mountain fighting ninjas, but defeating them all. Not without injuries though, he was weak right now. Someone he loved had betrayed him, his wife... At last, when he faced the boss, he was too weak to fight him. He had only enough strength for one last attack. He raised his sword and charged blindly, then slashed down.  
  
'White plum...' He thought, then opened up his eyes and yelled his beloved's name. She had rushed in and held the boss' dagger so it wouldn't hurt him, but he himself had cut her through with his katana. As Tomoe fell on him, he felt warm blood soaking his pants. For the first time in a while, tears came freely from Kenshin's eyes as Tomoe picked up her tanto and completed his cross scar. She then looked up to him with all the love she had for him and with her last breath whispered, "Gomen... na...sai A...na...ta" Then fell into her eternal sleep.  
  
An year later, when the Bakumatsu nearly ended, he left.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Then ten years later, I wandered here in Tokyo where I met Kaoru-dono. I've been living here for two years." Kenshin said as he looked up at a Toshiko with tears streaming down her face with Soujiro patting her on the back and whispering comforting words.  
  
Toshiko had one question to ask for now, "That still doesn't explain how you know Soujiro."  
  
"I fought him." Kenshin replied.  
  
Toshiko looked at him unbelieving, "No way, he survived the Hitokiri Battousai's fight, and you tell me my sister's husband, survived Tenken no Soujiro?"  
  
Kenshin raised an eyebrow, "I see, Soujiro hasn't told you everything."  
  
Toshiko looked over to Soujiro and he replied, "No I haven't, Himura-san. I thought you would want to tell her the truth yourself. Therefore, I have not said anything about your real identity."  
  
"Real identity?" Toshiko asked curiously and she made herself stop crying for a minute.  
  
"Hitokiri Battousai. That's me." Kenshin gave a weak smile, "I'm the one that fought Soujiro and got him to wander around as a rurouni an year ago. I'm the one that defeated Shishio Makoto."  
  
"That's not possible..." Toshiko didn't want to believe it and looked towards Soujiro, and he nodded, telling her it was the truth. "Not possible...Impossible. This is stupid. Don't joke around guys. It's not funny." But the both of them did not show any emotions, they had both expected her to be like this when she found out. "You murderer." She hissed, tears rolling down her cheeks, her eyes unable to contain so much water.   
  
"Here...read this and you'll understand." He passed her the journal and she took it. "I haven't read anything except the one page that has blood on it."  
  
"It would be so much better if you weren't the Battousai. It would be easier for me to understand. Because I don't understand anything right now. Why the hell did Tomoe have to marry the Battousai? You not only murdered Tomoe, my sister, you murdered your own baby. Bastard." Toshiko was glaring at Kenshin with hatred.  
  
Kenshin was shocked, 'baby?'. "What are you talking about, Toshiko?"  
  
Toshiko stood up and threw him the letter and he caught it, it took him a few minutes to finish the letter, but once he finished, his face was as pale as a ghost. "No...no...no..." He muttered to himself.  
  
"YOU KILLED THEM GOD DAMN IT!" Toshiko yelled, loud enough for Kaoru, Sano, Megumi, Yahiko and Misao to come running in and slide open the shoji. "You bastard. You killed them." Her knees buckled and Soujiro caught her in his arms and she began crying on his chest. Soujiro tried to calm Toshiko down by humming the song she had hummed on the way to Otsu, it had kind of worked, but she was still crying on his chest.  
  
Kenshin was still shocked with the new discovery, 'Tomoe was pregnant.' And what shocked him just as much was the way Soujiro was holding on to Toshiko, the way he was talking to her, humming to her and held her.  
  
Sano couldn't keep his mouth shut, "Oi Kenshin, who the hell did you murder?" And instantly received a glare from Kenshin and shut up immediately.  
  
Kaoru walked up to Kenshin and patted his shoulders, she knew what was going on, "It's all right, Kenshin. You wouldn't have wanted it to happen, right? It was an accident. It was an accident. You didn't know until it was too late, right? And the important thing was, she forgave you."  
  
"Tomoe forgave me, but Toshiko didn't. And I can't forgive myself either." He said disgusted, he was disgusted by his very own existence.  
  
"But you said a while ago that Tomoe forgave you, and you forgave yourself." Kaoru said, slightly confused.  
  
"But now that I know the truth, I can't anymore." He looked up at Kaoru and the other's confused face, "Tomoe...she was pregnant, and I killed her." He stood up and ran out the dojo gates.  
  
Sano did not really look as dumb as he was, neither was Misao, Megumi or Yahiko. But Sano had asked the question, "Kenshin, he killed his own wife?" his questions directed at Soujiro, Kaoru and Toshiko. Kaoru nodded while Soujiro and Toshiko was oblivious to what was going on. "Holy shit."  
  
"That's why, he's always like this. He made Tomoe the vow never to kill again." Kaoru replied.  
  
Soujiro heard that last sentence and he finally understood why Himura-san never killed. It was because he had promised his late wife that he wouldn't kill after the Bakumatsu, and he has kept his promise so far. For twelve years he hasn't killed, it was nearly impossible for a ex-hitokiri not to kill. He was one, and he knew how hard it was not to. No matter the cost, he was going to get Toshiko to forgive Himura-san, if not, Himura-san would not forgive himself, and he didn't want to see Himura-san like that, it just wasn't right.  
  
But for now, all he can do is comfort Toshiko until she is ready to talk. He had noticed Toshiko had fallen asleep while crying and he asked Kaoru-san if there was an extra room. There was only one left, Kaoru had offer him another one if he wanted because she could get Misao to sleep with herself, but he shook his head. He needed time alone with Toshiko if he was to convince her to forgive Himura-san. This was going to be hard, it was more of a pain in the ass than he thought it would be.  
  
He took Tomoe's journal away from his tight grip and laid it on her stomach while he lifted her up and carried her to the room Kaoru showed them.  
  
Sano and Misao, especially Sano had be shocked at Soujiro's reaction with Toshiko. He'd seen how good he was with fighting, but when that girl broke down and cried, he was so helpless. And then he realized something, Seta Soujiro was not at all different from Kenshin. Soujiro hid his emotions behind a smile, so did Kenshin. Both were ex-hitokiris, both swordsman were the most feared hitokiris. Both of them were alert at all times. Kenshin might look relax most of the time, but Sano knew, he was always alert. Soujiro was just the same... The only difference was Soujiro was never shown was love was and he never knew what was right or wrong, as for Kenshin, he knew killing was wrong, but he did it to help the people that were suffering.  
  
Sano sighed, it's been a long day. He might as well go see what Kenshin was up to.  
  
Author's Notes: This might be really bad, but I wanted to update really badly cause I had a good idea what to write, but just a bit tired to write. So might not be too good, but I'm rechecking it tomorrow when I'm a bit better. Posting it for now, but it might be reposted (or not). Depends on my mood. I slept six hours at camp! Ugh... Tired... Anyways, thank you all for reviewing and reading and have a great day! Sorry I couldn't upload last night, fanfiction.net was screwed...again =p Enjoy and review please!  
  
Daikon - White radish  
Sayonara - Farewell  
Tanto - Tomoe's dagger 


	13. 12 : Tomoe's Journal

Chapter 13  
  
By Crystal  
  
Author's Notes: [Tomoe Ayanami] This fic won't be K/T, but I will be writing a K/T. I've already started the prologue for it. I might post it soon, but I'm rechecking everything, the dates and stuff so I don't mistake anything. This fic will most likely not be a K/T fic since Tomoe is already dead, and I don't want to bring her back alive. But my K/T fic will take place in the Bakumatsu where Kenshin is still known as the Battousai ^^;; [Everyone] Thanks for reviewing! Soujiro/Toshiko and Kenshin/Tomoe in this chapter ^^.  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
The next day came with everyone lacking sleep, especially Kenshin. Toshiko had woken up a little later after she fell asleep due to exhaustion and had not slept since then. Soujiro had taken a nap but had woken up when Toshiko had and stayed up comforting the weeping, tired and sad Toshiko. Toshiko had to fake sleep in order to get Soujiro to sleep and once he did, which was already four o'clock in the morning, she lit a candle and began reading Tomoe's journal.  
  
Kaoru had not fallen asleep until three o'clock. Megumi had gone back home and so had Sanosuke. Yahiko was shocked at the discovery that Kenshin had killed his wife and child, but soon fell asleep after midnight came.  
  
It was five-thirty and Toshiko had finally finished reading the journal. And she put all the pieces together. Basically, Kenshin had killed Kiyosata-san [or was it Kiyosato? I can never get it right damn it] when he was the Hitokiri Battousai, then Tomoe went on a mission to kill Kenshin, but instead saw the young boy behind the eyes of the most feared assassin and beneath his walls. Then they faked a marriage and were sent to Otsu as a married couple because it was less suspicious and their feelings grew for each other.  
  
Tomoe betrayed Kenshin, Kenshin was ordered to kill her which he wasn't going to, nor did he plan to. But...Tomoe had stood in the sword's way at the last minute because she didn't want Kenshin killed. Her sister forgave Kenshin and risked her life to save her husband. Tomoe had loved and forgiven his husband, why couldn't she? She wasn't the one killed, and the one killed had already forgiven him. She definitely owns Kenshin an apology. Definitely.  
  
She stood up and pushed open the shoji and Soujiro woke up and grabbed her arm. She gave him a smile and whispered him, "Don't worry, Soujiro. I own my brother-in-law an apology. I'll be right back in a few minutes." She picked up the mirror and a bottle of white plum perfume before she walked out silently and slid the shoji door shut.  
  
As she walked out, Soujiro relaxed, he would not have to say anything anymore. Everything was going the way he wanted it to be. 'Thank you, Kami-sama.' He thought to himself and waited patiently for Toshiko to come back, he might even be lucky enough to hear some of the conversation.  
  
Toshiko had slid the shoji leading to Kenshin's room open and saw him crouched in the middle of the room holding on what seemed to be a dagger. She saw tears silently rolling down and she was terribly sorry. She had caused this mess. She had caused his tears. She went over to him quietly and put the diary in front of him and hugged him from behind, "Gomen nasai, Himura-san. I hope you forgive me. Read Tomoe's journal, she would have wanted you to read it, a lot of the stuff was written for you to read."  
  
Kenshin lifted his head up a bit, "Tomoe?" He whispered, his voice dry.  
  
"Iie...It's Toshiko. I'm sorry."  
  
"Iie...I'm the one who should be sorry." He held his hands up and looked at them, disgusted. "I hate my existence. I killed Tomoe. I stole her happiness. I screwed up your family. Even Enishi hated me." He paused, "He still hates me, so I have no problem with you hating me either. I shouldn't be living...I don't have the right. I've killed hundreds...Why am I still alive then?" He took a breath and whispered, more to himself, "Because Tomoe saved me...Because she risked her life to save me."  
  
Toshiko crouched down in front of him and grabbed his hands, "I'm sorry Himura-san. I'm sorry for snapping at you. Tomoe...she's forgiven you, and I forgive you too. She wasn't expecting to go back down the mountain alive thirteen years ago. She never did, and I'm sure she didn't regret saving you. She loved you, she would've wanted you to be happy."  
  
"She shouldn't have saved me, she should've let me die. Then Enishi would have two sisters instead of one. And I don't even know where he is anymore." Kenshin traced his cross scar with his fingers. "This scar...it reminds me of your sister, did you know that?"  
  
Toshiko nodded, "Enishi...you don't have any idea where he is?" Kenshin shook his head a muttered an apology. "It's okay, I wasn't expecting you to know it. Don't worry about it, okay?" Toshiko gave Kenshin one last hug, "Read the journal, and come see me in our room when you're done. I want to talk to you then. I'll see you later, Himura-san."  
  
"Kenshin." Kenshin insisted.  
  
"All right...I'll see you later...Himu...Kenshin." She turned around and put down the mirror and perfume in front of him, "You might want this too." Toshiko gave a cheerful smile and left. But before she was out of hearing range, she heard, "Toshiko, keep that cheerful smile on your face, it looks pretty on you. Your sister...I've only seen her smile twice..." when she went back to her room thinking about Kenshin's last statement, she was greeted by a smiling Soujiro when she came back.  
  
"I know... How was it?" Soujiro asked, he had not heard the whole conversation, but most of it anyhow.  
  
Toshiko replied, "Not too bad, anyhow, I'm going to catch a bit of sleep, it'll be at least an hour until Kenshin finishes reading the journal, want to join me?" Soujiro nodded and embraced Toshiko and they fell asleep just like that, holding on to each other, not bothering to lie in the futon or anything. When Kenshin entered, he would be VERY surprised at what he would see.  
  
Meanwhile, Kenshin was already at the third entry, reading about Tomoe's feelings for Kiyosato Akira. [It's Kiyosato] 'Tomoe...you really loved him. Gomen nasai...for taking away your happiness. If only...If only I had listen to shisho fifteen years ago, then it wouldn't have ended like this. If only...I had listened to him, I would have never known you or anyone. I would've never been known as the Hitokiri Battousai. Gomen nasai. Even though no matter how many times I apologize, it won't be enough.'  
  
Her feelings for Kiyosato Akira went on for fifteen minutes, until he saw splotches of dried blood on the pages.  
His blood from the scar thirteen years ago when he had first picked up the journal...  
His blood from the scar thirteen years ago...  
His blood from the scar...  
His blood...  
He looked down and read the entry he had thirteen years ago, that day when he had killed his beloved...  
  
'On a street in Kyoto, he became a person never to return. I am on a mission to kill the Hitokiri Battousai.'  
  
'The Battousai, I found out is nothing but a child wielding a weapon, I fainted due to the sake last night and fell unconscious in front of him. Himura Kenshin is his name. He brought me to the Ishin shishi hideout. Now I will be able to kill him...'  
  
'Himura...he's...not what he seems, he isn't cold-blooded at all. He came from a mission tonight, and he's still washing his hands. I hear the water now, I think it's been his eighth bucket tonight. The scar Kiyosato gave him...It's still bleeding.'  
  
'He tries to be unemotional, but I can see through him. He is human like all of us. Just like all of us. He's a child, a child that has lost his innocence long ago. You can't blame him, having to be the Ishin shishi assasin, having a black envelope coming almost every two days.'  
  
'He slept by the window today, and I thought he'd catch a cold, so I covered him with my scarf, but... He woke up and held his katana to my throat. I can't help but think how bad his childhood was. He probably never had any parents, or else he wouldn't have turned into the Hitokiri Battousai.'  
  
'I don't know what to make of this... He hasn't gotten a black envelope for a few nights, and I can't help but feel relieved. It's definitely nothing to do with someone else dying... It has to do with this, child, washing himself and scrubbing his hands raw after each assassination. I can't stand and watch him like this.'  
  
'Katsura-san has offered me to be Himura's sheath. I don't know if I can't do it. He says someone has to hold the Battousai in, and I am able to do that. I don't know, I'm confused, I was suppose to be on a mission to kill this man. But... I can't anymore, I had plenty of chances, when he sleeps. I could've killed him and left. But... why can't I do that?'  
  
'I've asked him to come drink sake with me tonight, he brought me there and we had a decent conversation, and I saw him kill...a group of Shinsengumis in front of me. I had told him that a sword needed a sheath, he looked at me as if I was crazy. I think... I will accept what Katsura-san said and be his sheath. He can't carry on like this. He's going to regret it one day. We are on our way to Otsu... as a newly weds. Katsura-san sent me away with Himu...no, Kenshin to Otsu. He said newly weds aren't as suspicious, and I must agree.'  
  
'Kenshin...Why do you have to be so nice when you're not killing? I can't even bring myself to kill you anymore! Iizuka-san came today and I left to tend the daikons you wanted to plant, I don't like him much, he's Ishin shishi's traitor. When he left, he told me I was the wife of a medicine seller.'  
  
'The medicine went better than I thought it would, you seem peaceful when you're not killing, Kenshin. I can't bring myself to kill you today, maybe tomorrow... or maybe I won't be able to bring myself to kill you anymore.'  
  
'Enishi came to visit. I'm afraid, I don't want anyone hurting you at all. Not even myself. I will do whatever to protect you, even if it means my life. Akira would have agreed with me. He would understand me. I can't... I can't bring myself to even think of killing you!'  
  
''Kimi wo mamoru', you told me that today. I have also left my tanto at home. When you asked about it, I was surprised...but... I have changed since four months ago. I no longer despise you. I no longer even have a little hate against you. No hate at all.'  
  
'Anata...Aishiteru. I really love you, I'm serious... I, even myself can't bring myself to look at the truth. I love you. I, I didn't regret what happened last night. I couldn't, you were so innocent last night. I told you about Akira, and you told me about your life. And... then... I couldn't hold it any longer. I knew what I felt towards you was no longer hatred, but love. And I wanted you, anata. And you responded. You told me you would protect me and my happiness. Ironic, because you were the one who stole my happiness first. But... you replaced it with another happiness... I remember smiling at you for the first time after you said you would protect my happiness. Anata...Aishiteru.'  
  
'Toku-kun...you're always playing with Toku-kun. I wonder if that's what you are going to do when we have our own child. If we ever have one. You always tell me how much you enjoy this life in Otsu. You're finally out of your own protection walls, always laughing with the children and giving me hugs and kisses, even though I never smile, I know you know how I feel. Those hugs and kisses, I cherish them. I don't ever want my time with you to end...but... I don't know if that will happen. I... I don't know if this will last... I know you didn't like your Battousai life, neither did I, I hope we can stay here forever...'  
  
'I've tried smiling in the mirror this morning when you weren't here, but... It looks very pretty on me, but for some reason, it doesn't look right. You've always commented on my sad smile, but you know that I'm not really sad anymore. With you, I'm not sad... I'm the happiest women in the entire world.'  
  
'Guess what? I went to the doctor's and I'm pregnant! I've sent a letter to Toshiko, I believe it's the only and last one I'm going to send to my family. I can't possibly tell them I fell in love with the man that killed my fiancée! But I have no regrets. When I see you playing with Toku-kun, I imagine Toku-kun being our son, only with darker red hair than you. Maybe even with a ponytail like his father. A son, definitely a son... I would name our son Kenji, with the word 'sword' in it, just like his father. What would you say, anata?'  
  
'I hope this life in Otsu would last long. Kenshin still doesn't know about me being pregnant, I don't know what to say, how he will react. I don't want him to want me to abort our baby. I want a baby with him, to remind me that this isn't just a dream that I will wake up in any second. I will tell him tomorrow. The baby is one month and a half already, Kenshin has a right to know. Aishiteru, anata.'  
  
'I don't have time to tell Kenshin about being a father anymore. This will be my last journal entry... Kenshin, by the time you read this, I don't know when that will be... Soon, I hope. I have forgiven you about Kiyosato. I have no regrets being married to the Hitokiri Battousai. No regrets being the Battousai's woman. I... when you read this entry, you most likely have read the ones in the front, which means you know I am pregnant. I really love you.'  
  
'I was so happy when you had said you were going to protect me and my happiness. I can't put my happiness in words, neither can I now. Only, I hope you read this entry soon, because... If you kill me, due to whoever ordered you to, I will forgive you. It was my fault alone that I came to want to kill you, but in the end, I didn't, because I had seen the real person under all those protective walls you had built around yourself, and I am sure that I was the only one to break through them. I feel honoured. One last thing... Iizuka is the Ishin shishi traitor, he wants to get rid of you, anata. Watch out for him and tell Katsura-san.'   
  
'Tell everyone I was sorry I betrayed Ishin shishi and... I'm sorry, anata. I'm sorry for lying to you, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't have told you about the baby earlier, but I can't do it now, if I do it now, you'll become suspicious and you won't let me out of your sight, and if you do that, I'll put you in danger too. I will die, whether by your hands or not, and if I do, I will smile one last smile to you. You love me smiling, didn't you? If I die, I will watch over you in heaven, or hell. And when you die, I'll be by your side. Zutto. Gomen nasai anata... and aishiteru.'  
  
'Sayonara... Second man to love me...'  
  
Kenshin closed the journal, his room was filled with the smell of white plum already, due to the bottle of perfume Toshiko had given him. He had also remembered that the mirror was the one he had bought for Tomoe when they had first moved to Otsu. Such lovely memories... But they were only memories, no more than that. Tomoe had loved him and had done what she said she would in the journal. She gave him a last smile, the second one he saw. But it still didn't change the fact that he killed her. But... She had loved him for a long time... She had forgiven him even before she had known what was going to happen. She had saved him from death and given him life. Showed him what live really was. He was sure never to forget her, but for now...  
  
He stood up, it was time to see Toshiko, it had been an hour and about twenty minutes since he'd last seen her.   
  
Author's Notes: Finally finished this chapter! Thank you to all those that's been sticking with me the whole time reading and reviewing. I thank DiaBLo, Shuro, Seta-Yukiko, Chris Kugler, Chibigreen Tanuki, Naomi, L. Sith, Tomoe Ayanami, EK and Magia. Thanks for all your support and Chapter 14 will be coming along soon. Sayonara, minna!  
  
Shoji - Traditional Japanese sliding doors  
Kami-sama - God  
Gomen nasai - I'm very sorry  
Iie - No  
Daikon - White radish  
Kimi wo mamoru - I will protect you.  
Tanto - Tomoe's dagger  
Anata - What wives calls their husbands  
Aishiteru - I love you  
Zutto - Always 


	14. 13 : Saitoh Hajime

Chapter 14  
  
By Crystal  
  
Author's Notes: Gah, I might not be updating too much this week cause of all the projects...God darn it. And my oral presentation. *curses* Anyhow...I hope you enjoy this chapter!  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
Kenshin opened the shoji leading to Toshiko and Soujiro's room, when he was able to see inside, his eyes bulged out and his mouth was wide open. Soujiro's eyes snapped open at the sound of the shoji opening and was staring at Kenshin with his usual Tenken smile. "Ohayou, Himura-san." Soujiro said softly, still holding the now peacefully sleeping Toshiko in his arms.  
  
"...Ohayou, Soujiro. How was your night?" Kenshin asked, still looking at the way Soujiro was holding onto Toshiko. He shouldn't be too surprised, since Soujiro was holding her the same way as yesterday when she was crying, but he still was.  
  
The Tenken stood up softly and walked over to Toshiko's futon and laid her down, and looked up at Kenshin, "It was okay. I got a few hours of sleep."  
  
Kenshin nodded, "Want to go outside for a breath of fresh air?" Soujiro nodded and followed him outside, closing the shoji behind him.  
  
Normally, everyone was going to be awake within an hour. But...today wasn't exactly what you'd call normal. Yahiko had slept after midnight, Kaoru-dono has slept at around three, Toshiko had probably just fallen asleep when he started reading Tomoe's journal, and who knows what time Sano and Megumi-dono fell asleep.  
  
Kenshin sighed and earned a glance from Soujiro, "What are you sighing at, Himura-san?"  
  
Kenshin looked at the rising sun coming up, "Nothing really much. Just thinking about how Toshiko had forgiven me. It means a lot to me, you know?" Kenshin said, a smile playing softly on his face. "It means a lot..."  
  
Soujiro looked at the Hitokiri Battousai, "I know what you mean... Because... she too, has understood my past. She was the first one to do so. And she thought of me as her best friend, which means a lot to me too. Toshiko... She never cared about my past much, she only wanted to know. After I told her my past, I was afraid that she'd be less friendly, but it was quite the opposite. She was more... friendly."  
  
He looked amusingly at the once Shishio Makoto's right hand man and said jokingly, "That looked more than what best friends did in your rooms."  
  
Soujiro blushed, "Himura-san..." He paused, "Why are you talking like this right now? No 'sessha', or 'de gozaru'?"  
  
Battousai looked even more amused after Soujiro blushed, "I don't know... Don't try to change the topic here, Soujiro." Kenshin gave a smirk.  
  
"You're not acting like yourself." Soujiro said, unsuccessfully trying to change the topic. He didn't feel too comfortable with that topic Himura-san was bringing up.  
  
Battousai raised an eyebrow, "Soujiro... Is that better, de gozaru?" He asked.  
  
"Hai, hai, Himura-san." Soujiro was going to ask another question when out come a sleepy Kaoru.  
  
"Ohayou, Kenshin, Seta-san." Kaoru was trying to rub the sleep from her eyes.  
  
"Ohayou Kamiya-san." "Ohayou, Kaoru-dono." Soujiro and Kenshin said at the same time.  
  
"Anyways Kenshin, I'm going to cook breakfast, you two carry on with your conversation." Kaoru walked towards to kitchen until...  
  
"Kaoru-dono!" Kenshin said panicky, "Why don't you and Soujiro have a talk, de gozaru yo? I'll cook breakfast today!" He practically cringed when Kaoru raised her eyebrow in suspicion, and relaxed when she nodded.  
  
Kaoru headed towards the bath house, "I'll be taking a bath, be out in a moment. Seta-san, would you mind waking up Yahiko-chan and Toshiko please?"  
  
"Hai, hai, Kamiya-san." Soujiro replied and when she was out of earshot, looked at Kenshin and tilted his head. "Himura-san, do you like to cook?"  
  
Kenshin said very quietly, "Do not eat Kaoru-dono. It is poisonous, de gozaru." And looked at Soujiro weirdly as the Tenken laughed quietly. "Sessha is serious, de gozaru." Soujiro still couldn't stop laughing at soon got Kenshin to laugh to.  
  
"Himura-san, you go cook breakfast first, I'll join you after I wake up Yahiko-kun and Toshiko." And headed towards the way Kenshin and him came. The day was great so far.  
  
Kaoru had forgotten that Kenshin had returned to his goofy rurouni side early in the morning because of the lack of sleep, but she was now gaping along Yahiko and Sanosuke at how he was talking to Toshiko and Soujiro as they were old friends. Toshiko seemed happy, same with Kenshin, and of course... Soujiro... he was ALWAYS happy, or he seemed always happy.  
  
Toshiko was already joking along with Kenshin like nothing had happened yesterday, Soujiro was listening and adding something once in a while, Kenshin's amethyst eyes had come back without a trace of his amber ones, and the three of them... well, were gaping at the other three like stupid idiots.  
  
At last, Toshiko had looked at them, "What's wrong, Kaoru-san, Sano-san, Yahiko-kun?"  
  
Kaoru opened and closed her mouth a few times, successfully looking like an idiot until she said, "You're not mad at Kenshin anymore, Toshiko-chan?"  
  
"Ohh, that's what you three are looking at. No, I'm not mad at my brother-in-law anymore." She smiled brightly and brought Kenshin's mind to wander again. She noticed the faraway looks in Kenshin's eyes and waved her hands in his face a few times and shouted his name at least six times until Soujiro grabbed him by the shoulders lightly and shook him.  
  
"Wha...?" Kenshin asked, slightly confused.  
  
Toshiko gave Kenshin a raised eyebrow, "It's not nice to zoom out when someone is talking about you, Kenshin."  
  
"Aa... Sessha is sorry, de gozaru." Kenshin smiled and turned to Kaoru, Sano and Yahiko. "And Toshiko and sessha talked last night, or rather this morning. We got it all figured out, de gozaru."  
  
All conversations were cut off when a knock was heard, coming from the dojo gates. Kenshin sensed who's ki it was immediately, "Saitoh..."  
  
Soujiro groaned, "Saitoh Hajime, that cop?" Kenshin nodded and caused another groan from Soujiro, "I don't like him."  
  
"Neither does sessha." Kenshin replied and stood up to open the door when everyone came, he looked at them surprised.  
  
"Kenshin, we're coming with you." Kaoru said impatiently, "Hurry up and open the gates."  
  
When they got to the gates, Saitoh was not surprised to see a whole group of people greeting him, and he saw the Tenken. "Good, looks like I don't have to look anymore. Battousai, Tenken. I have something to discuss with you."  
  
"I thought you were dead." Sano spat, he despised the cop. Overly self-centred bastard.  
  
Kenshin replied, "Sano, I told you Saitoh was too stubborn to die, the only thing he's going to die from is from a sword wound."  
  
"Fish face, what the hell do you need help with again?" Sano ignored Kenshin.  
  
"Sagara-san... I think Saitoh-san has a good reason with wanting to talk with Kenshin and Soujiro." Toshiko spoke up quietly, she clearly didn't like Saitoh too well, her eyes showed, but there must be a good reason the 3rd Squad Captain of the Shinsengumi would ask former enemies to chat with. It was obviously important.  
  
Saitoh's amber eyes looked at Toshiko, "And who might you be, young lady?"  
  
"Yukishiro... Toshiko." She felt Saitoh's eyes bore into hers, but she didn't look away.  
  
Saitoh looked thoughtful, "Yukishiro...sounds familiar." And another minute passed like this until, "Oh right... Battousai's wife." And smirked at Kenshin's flaring ki. "So you must be her younger sister. Surely, ahou, this young woman is smarter than you."  
  
Sano gritted his teeth and his fists were clenching and unclenching, but before he could say any profanities, Soujiro spoke up, "Saitoh-san, would you mind speaking with all of us here? I'm sure Himura-san's friends would like to know what you're saying too."  
  
"No." Saitoh replied, "Top secret. Now are you going to speak with me?" Saitoh asked as he took another smoke. Kaoru's nose wrinkled at the smell but kept her mouth shut.  
  
"Kaoru-dono, please finish breakfast. Soujiro, Saitoh and I have something to talk about. We will be back in a few hours." Kenshin and Soujiro were following Saitoh out the gates when Kaoru said.  
  
"Why don't you three talk here in the dojo?"  
  
Saitoh just shook his head, "Kamiya, it's top secret, even though I know when you're close to hearing range, I don't want to take the risk." And continued walking.  
  
Soujiro turned around and said, "Ja ne, Toshiko." And gave her a smile, which she returned worriedly. "I'll be fine."  
  
"Aa... Come back soon, Soujiro."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Once they got to the police station, Saitoh had gotten immediately to the point. "Battousai, some messengers from the Juppon Gatana are recreating the group." Soujiro and Kenshin's eyes widened slightly.  
  
"Saitoh-san, I would like to know why you called me here, surely, you wouldn't be trusting me. I am, after, Shishio-san's right hand man and the former Tenken." Soujiro said.  
  
"Tenken, I'm afraid I have to trust you. I can't do this because they know I was against Shishio Makoto in the past, same with Battousai. I need you to be a spy. We have no idea where their base is, but they're finding all the old members of the Juppon Gatana. I have already talked to Chou and Kamatari, they are already in the group as highest member. Their next target is Shishio's right hand man, which is you."  
  
Soujiro shook his head disbelievingly, "Kamatari-san, would go against Juppon Gatana?"  
  
Saitoh took a smoke, "It's because Kamatari thinks Shishio is not the boss, that's why she agreed. I have already gotten Chou to tell them to search for you two weeks after he gets in the group, which is only six days away. I need an answer from you by tomorrow. And do not tell anybody. I mean ANYBODY, or you're going to put them in grave danger. Battousai will help you cover up."  
  
Kenshin looked down with his bangs covering his whole face, 'this is not going to be easy on Soujiro, me or Toshiko. Soujiro will have to lie to Toshiko to not get her in danger, so will I... But... Toshiko will be heart broken.' He took a deep breath. "I think Soujiro will come up with an answer within a day." He stood up, was going to exit the room when he was startled by Soujiro's answer.  
  
"Himura-san, Saitoh-san, I don't need a day. I'll do this. For everyone's sake." Soujiro took a deep breath, "Let's go, Himura-san."  
  
As they got outside, Kenshin was looking at Soujiro, "You're not thinking of joining the Juppon Gatana, are you?"  
  
"Well, I have to, don't I?" He asked, emotionlessly, his Tenken smile back, his hand ready on his katana. "I am, after all, being a spy, aren't I?" He heard Himura-san sigh a sigh of relief and he gave a weak smile, "I'm not going back, don't worry. Just promise me... Whatever happens, take care of Toshiko. I'm leaving the dojo in four days."  
  
"I'll promise you that, but how are you going to say this to Toshiko?" Kenshin asked, "I don't want you hurting her."  
  
Soujiro looked at him, "It's the only way, Himura-san. If I hurt her, she might forget me, which is better. Since I might never come back, there's the possibility I'm not coming back. Even though I'm strong, it's not impossible to die. I'm going to leave in four days, then you and Saitoh, on the seventh day tell them I joined the Juppon Gatana. Don't let anyone know anything. You heard Saitoh-san, if anyone knows, which includes Kamiya-san, Sagara-san, Yahiko-kun, you're putting them in danger. It's good right now, the only ones in danger on this mission is Saitoh-san, you, me, Chou and Kamatari-san. Leave it that way. I don't want anyone I know dying on me."  
  
Kenshin could only nod, Toshiko was going to get really hurt by this. But he knew, deep inside, it was better for her, so she won't ask questions.  
  
Author's Notes: Finally finished! This is kind of a short chapter since I'm really tired, sorry guys. Anyhow, chapter 15 WILL be posted probably on Friday? I hope. I have lots of homework and projects, but I'll try writing as much as I can. Oyasumi!  
  
Shoji - Traditional Japanese door  
Ohayou - Good morning  
Ahou - moron 


	15. 14 : Leaving Behind His Love

Chapter 15  
  
By Crystal  
  
Author's Notes: Ugh... I just noticed I forgot about Misao... let's just say she went back to Kyoto. All right? ^^;; Anyhow, I hope you enjoy the chapter! [Chibigreen Tanuki] Yes Soujiro's being an idiot ^^ Oh, and I raised the rating to PG13 cause of the kissing ^^.  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
The second the two had gotten back to the dojo, everything was normal. Soujiro had acted like his own even though his brain was full of thoughts, Kenshin was thinking how bad of a liar he was and wondered if he could lie well in front of everyone. He'd have to anyways, Soujiro's life was going to be in danger, and if he didn't keep the secret well and if the others knew, so will the ones that know.  
  
Toshiko was playing along with Ayame-chan and Suzume-chan happily, joined in by Soujiro. Yahiko was doing five hundred swings due to calling Kaoru a busu. Kaoru was counting Yahiko's swings and correcting the ones that weren't perfect and when she wasn't doing that, she was looking at Kenshin. Sano was...well... he was gambling somewhere in Tokyo. Kenshin was doing laundry, scrubbing stains from the clothes and was looking at Soujiro with his fake rurouni smile on. While Kenshin was wearing his rurouni smile, Soujiro was wearing his Tenken smile.  
  
Fortunately, Toshiko hadn't notice the uneasiness in the two men's ki, since she did not know how to sense ki.  
  
Kaoru sighed happily, the old Kenshin was back, his eyes free from the Battousai's amber coloured eyes. Her eyes shifted from the rurouni's form to Soujiro's. 'I can't believe he really is Tenken no Soujiro, the swordsman that almost killed Kenshin. He looks so peaceful right now. Toshiko and him look great together... But... There's something about his smile I can't put my finger on.' Her eyes shifted back to Kenshin and found out immediately what was bothering her from the second the two of them came back in the dojo gates. Both of them, they had identical smiles. Something was wrong and she was sure of it.  
  
Kaoru was curious, she needed to find out, "Kenshin, can you come here for a second? I want to ask you something." She turned her face towards Yahiko, "two hundred more swings, Yahiko-chan."  
  
"Hai, Kaoru-dono." "Don't call me CHAN, BUSU!" Kenshin and Yahiko said at the same time.  
  
Kaoru took her bokken and whacked Yahiko on the head, then signalled Kenshin somewhere where the others wouldn't hear them talking. "Kenshin, what is wrong. I feel Soujiro and your uneasiness."  
  
Kenshin couldn't lie to save his life, but the problem was, this wasn't his life, this was everyone's life, so he tried as hard as he could, "Nothing, Kaoru-dono, sessha was just thinking, de gozaru." Kenshin gave her a smile which betrayed no emotions at all. Kaoru's left eyebrow quirked up, she was not at all satisfied at the answer. "About..." Kenshin started, stating his thoughts.  
  
"Himura-san is thinking about what Saitoh-san told us early today." Soujiro came over and said, giving Kaoru a Tenken smile.  
  
"And what was that?" Kaoru asked.  
  
Soujiro smiled, "About Shishio-san." Kenshin's eyes widened a bit, but immediately went back to his smile, Soujiro was definitely up to something.   
  
Kaoru looked at Soujiro as he was joking around. "Seta-san, I wish you wouldn't joke about Shishio Makoto." She didn't sound too happy.  
  
"All right, I'm sorry, Kamiya-san. It's really nothing important. Saitoh-san was just asking Himura-san about a case a while ago." Kaoru nodded and Soujiro was relieved.  
  
"Kenshin, you could have just told me." Kaoru started walking back to Yahiko. Kenshin looked at Soujiro and mouthed 'Thank you'. Soujiro nodded and walked back to Toshiko.  
  
Dinner was great and now Soujiro was sitting down with his back leaning against the wall back in his and Toshiko's room. Toshiko was washing the dishes with Kamiya-san and Himura-san was probably in his room too. What was he to do? He had to decide now. He can either act normal around Toshiko until the 'Juppon Gatana' come gets him, which won't make Toshiko suspect a thing, or he can either be cold to her. The latter didn't seem too good of an idea, he didn't want to hurt her more than he would have to. And anyways, he did deserve a few days of happiness before he went to spy on his own group... Did he? All thoughts were stopped as he felt Toshiko's ki coming from down the hallway.  
  
As she came in the room, she smiled at him, rolled closed the shoji and sat down beside him. "Soujiro, daijoubu ka? You don't seem too well tonight." She touched his forehead gently to check if he had a fever.  
  
"Daijoubu, Toshiko. I'm just tired today." He gave her a smile and received a hug back. "...Toshiko?"  
  
She pulled back and looked at him, "Gomen nasai... I just don't know what I could do if you ever left me." She said sadly, "You're never going to leave me, right?"  
  
Soujiro was shocked at the question, a month ago, he would've lied to her, but he didn't know if he could right now, but if he didn't, he would put her in risk. "Iie... I'm not going to leave you." He swallowed, hoping she would be satisfied. He looked away for a second and looked back at her. She was blushing, their nose were just inches away.  
  
He felt her warm breath playing on his own lips. And was surprised to see Toshiko close her own eyes and slowly close the distance between them. He could either push him away, but that would hurt her feeling. Or he could do the same as her and worry about everything later. He choose the latter one, for once in his life, he was tired of thinking.  
  
She moved forward slowly, hoping he won't push her away, and was incredibly shocked when her lips touched his. It felt... good. What shocked her even more was when he wrapped his arms around her a pulled her closer.  
  
He felt her soft lips and stuck out her tongue to have a taste of her mouth as he pulled her closer. 'Oh god, I shouldn't have done this.' He thought to himself, but did nothing to stop himself from kissing her. Finally after a few minutes, they broke off.   
  
Before Soujiro could apologize, Toshiko had already spoken, "You don't like me... do you? You regretted it... didn't you?" She tried to keep her voice steady, but her eyes betrayed her. She was scared.  
  
'Damn it, Soujiro. You just Had to pick the latter choice. Why couldn't you have just pushed her away? I'm just hurting you more, Toshiko. You don't deserve someone like me.' But out from his mouth came, "Iie Toshiko, I didn't regret it." And unconsciously gave her a smile which she responded with one of her own, so cheerful. It hurt his heart to think that he would have to leave in three days from now. Maybe even earlier. For all he knew, Saitoh-san could very well deliver him a message that says the Juppon Gatana is looking for him right this second and he will have to leave with them.  
  
He didn't want to leave, not yet. Not when he had just kissed Toshiko like that. Damn it, life wasn't fair. Why did it have to be him, of all people? He wanted to stay.  
  
Toshiko asked curiously, he had only answered her second question, he still didn't answer her first one, and she was determined to know, even if it broke her heart. "...Ano... Soujiro... Do you... Umm... like me?" Then thought to herself, 'there I did it. Please Kami-sama... Let him say yes.'  
  
Soujiro was once again having conflicts in his mind, it was either the truth or not. He might as well say the truth, since there was a chance he might not come back anyhow. They never said who was the Juppon Gatana boss, and if the boss did find out and he was better with swords than he was, then he was certainly dead. And he did not want to die without telling Toshiko his feelings for her. "Iie, Toshiko. I don't like you." He paused for a second and cupped her face in his hands, "Aishiteru..." 'there, I said it. Aren't I glad?'  
  
Without warning, Toshiko threw herself at Soujiro and was crying on Soujiro's shoulder. Tears of joy...  
  
"Daijoubu ka, Toshiko?" He was worried, one minute, she was asking him if he liked her, the next minute, she flings herself at him and starts crying on his shoulder.  
  
Toshiko looked up happily and wiped her tears away with her hands and spoke quietly, "Aishiteru, Soujiro." And embraced Soujiro while he returned the embrace smiling.  
  
Two days had already passed with all the people in the dojo living normally. It was early morning and Kenshin and Soujiro were sitting down enjoying the sunrise like they had every morning since Soujiro had come to move in. They always talked about whatever came to their minds, Soujiro had even told Kenshin about his past. They were sitting there quietly until Soujiro held up his hand and caught a kunai between his index and middle finger with a note attached to it. "This is it..." Soujiro whispered quietly to Kenshin. He nodded and signalled him to open it, he didn't bother looking if anyone was peeking, for he didn't feel any ki that were near them. Soujiro opened it slowly.  
  
'Tenken,  
  
They're coming today, get ready. Someone from Juppon Gatana will give you a note at the dojo and you go where they indicate you to go. If you want to pass a message to Battousai or me while you're spying, ask Chou.  
  
Fujita Goro.'  
  
"Himura-san." Soujiro said. "They came early." Kenshin nodded. "Promise me, take care of her... and the others." Kenshin nodded, of course 'her' meant Toshiko. He had seen the way Soujiro was looking at her lovingly all the time, and she had done the same.  
  
"Soujiro. Good luck. Come back, or Toshiko will be terribly heart broken."  
  
"She will be heart broken within a few hours. I think this is going to be the last conversation we're having alone... until I come back. I'll send you a message once in a while." Soujiro stood up and walked back to his room while Kenshin walked towards the kitchen and began cooking breakfast.  
  
Soujiro sat beside the futon Toshiko was sleeping in and brushed away her bangs lovingly. This would be the last time he would see her asleep in a long while... or maybe forever. Toshiko was a light sleeper and woke up immediately, staring up at the face of his lover. "Ohayou, koishii." He whispered softly.  
  
She raised her eyebrow slightly at the change of name, but replied, "Ohayou, …anata." And smiled at what she had just called him. "Thank god you're never going to leave me..." She mumbled in his chest.  
  
"I would never leave you, koishii. Remember that." Soujiro said quietly and her head nodded. "Anyways, wake up. Himura-san is cooking breakfast. You go help him while I wake up Kamiya-san and Yahiko-kun."  
  
"Hai, anata." She stood up and once she was at the hallway, shouted "Ken-nii! Soujiro told me to help you with breakfast!" Soujiro chuckled to himself. Toshiko had started calling Kenshin Ken-nii sometimes due to Ayame-chan and Suzume-chan.  
  
Breakfast was once again disturbed at the knocking at the dojo gates. Soujiro and Kenshin looked up immediately and told everyone to stay at the table. Kaoru had insisted that they go together and Kenshin had gotten her to stay with a glare from his Battousai eyes. "Stay, Kaoru-dono."  
  
There was definitely something wrong at the way Kenshin had gotten Kaoru to stay, but when they came back, their face was normal and they were acting normal too. Nothing was out of place. When Kenshin was doing his laundry, Soujiro had gone back inside packing, Kaoru was training with Yahiko and Toshiko was in the shower. He had to leave now. It was no problem avoiding Yahiko-kun and Kamiya-san. But he definitely had to say bye to Himura-san. He ran outside and said a quick farewell to the rurouni that wished him good luck, went back in and left the set of new clothes Toshiko had bought for him in Kyoto neatly folded in the middle of the room for memory. She probably didn't want to ever remember him though.   
  
No matter, he turned around and sniffed the scent of white plum one was time, 'Gomen nasai, koishii.' And went out the door farthest away from the three of them and Shukuchi-ed his way right beside them and jumped on the gates and disappeared behind it. Only Kenshin had been able to sense him and had for the I-don't-know-many time wished him good luck and to come back alive.  
  
Soujiro carried his stuff, looking carefree, but was actually very alert to everything that was going on. He travelled onwards to his destination, the Shinjo Shrine [it's made up] having his mind on only two person. The person he loved the most and the most feared assassin in Japan.   
  
Author's Notes: I finished this chapter quickly, but I'll revise it tomorrow morning. Thank you for everyone's review, I really appreciate it! Next chapter will come in a day or two, maybe even three, but no more, I'm pretty sure. Thank you DiaBLo, Shuro, Seta-Yukiko, Chris Kugler, Chibigreen Tanuki, Naomi, L. Sith, Tomoe Ayanami, EK, Magia, Chiki and XenoMark. I'm sorry for anyone that I have missed, you may whack me on the head if I forgot you. ^^  
  
Busu - ugly, hag  
Bokken - wooden sword  
Shoji - traditional Japanese door.  
Daijoubu/Daijoubu ka? - I'm all right/Are you all right?  
Kami-sama - God  
Aishiteru - I love you.  
Koishii - term from husband to wife [no they're not married yet]  
Anata - term from wife to husband.  
Gomen nasai - I'm very sorry 


	16. 15 : Juppon Gatana

Chapter 16  
  
By Crystal  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
Toshiko had come back from her bath passing the dojo and saw Sano who was now whining about his hunger, Kenshin scrubbing the laundry, Yahiko practising his swings with Kaoru who was scowling Sano, and Soujiro... who was nowhere to be seen. She decided he might be taking a nap inside. As she stood in front of the room, she felt that something was definitely wrong, terribly wrong, but brushed it away. She pushed open the shoji and found...  
  
The set of clothes she had bought for him, folded neatly in the middle of the room. His katana was gone, so was his pack. "Soujiro..." She heard herself whisper quietly, then shouted his brother-in-law's name, "Kenshin!!" In less than a second, Toshiko heard Kenshin and the others running towards the room, and in no time was in the room.  
  
"Hai, Toshiko?" He said, not knowing what else he could say.  
  
"Did he... leave me...?" She asked, her voice shaking and she felt herself tremble.  
  
He shook his head, "Sessha doesn't think so, de gozaru. He'll probably be back by nightfall, de gozaru." Kenshin smiled his rurouni smile, even though her back was to his face.  
  
"He'll be back in a while, ...ne?" She was desperately trying to find comfort from the four.  
  
Kaoru heard her desperate voice, "Of course, Toshiko-san."  
  
Toshiko turned around and smiled, "Arigatou, Kaoru-san. You can drop the honorific, Toshiko is fine."  
  
Kaoru nodded, "But in return, you call me Kaoru, and not Kaoru-san."  
  
"Kenshin, when are you cooking? I'm hungry." Sano grumbled, instantly receiving a glare from Kaoru.  
  
"I'll cook lunch today." Kaoru smiled and walked towards the kitchen with Kaoru, Sano and Yahiko trailing behind her, resuming to what they were doing before they rushed in Soujiro and Toshiko's room.  
  
Kenshin stayed in the room for another few minutes before he left to where Yahiko and Kaoru was. If Soujiro wasn't the boss of Juppon Gatana, then he was surely someone stronger than Soujiro, and the last time he fought Soujiro, he came back home half dead. It was time for some real practice. But what if it was Soujiro that was the boss? Then it would all be fine.  
  
His ki flaring, he took a few logs and stood one of them up. Kaoru, Yahiko and Sano looked at him as if he were nuts. He unsheathed his sword and half a second later, sheathed his sword and the log went flying in two piece. "No good." He muttered and in the corner of his eyes, saw the astonished faces of his three friends. He kept on standing up logs and cutting them with the three gaping at the whole time. He practiced and practiced until he was satisfied and soon thereafter, Toshiko called them all in for lunch.  
  
As he was about to sit down, he saw the food. It felt oddly familiar at the first taste. 'Of course, her mother must've taught both of them how to cook.' Kenshin thought to himself and said out loud, "Your mother taught you how to cook, right?" She nodded. "Figures..." He said quietly and continued on his meal.  
  
Kaoru was looking curiously at the rurouni, first, Soujiro had disappeared all of a sudden with all his belongings gone except for a set of clothes that Toshiko had bought him, then Kenshin had started practicing his kenjitsu. Today was weird indeed. She was going to ask him until he answered if it meant dragging him away.  
  
The meal was great with all four of them commenting on the food, with Yahiko saying that it was better than 'busu''s cooking. That made him instantly earn a bump on his head. Kaoru stayed and helped Toshiko with the dishes, and after that, Toshiko rushed to 'their' room and cried to herself quietly. She knew the truth, Soujiro was never going to return. Her eyes full of tears, she touched the only thing Soujiro left for her to remember him by tenderly. "Soujiro... Aishiteru." She said and her head immediately turned to where the shoji was, where someone had pushed it open. Secretly, she had hoped it was Soujiro that had pushed it open, but she knew he left. And she was right.  
  
"Kenshin..." She whispered, as he kneeled down beside her. She instantly found herself in Kenshin's embrace and she returned it, sobbing in his chest. "Soujiro... He's not... coming back... ne...?" She said between choked sobs.  
  
Kenshin patted her reassuringly, "He'll be back. Be a good girl and do what you want. He'll be back one day, you'll see." And smiled at her, which she only half returned.  
  
"I miss him already..." Toshiko whispered.  
  
"I...Sessha knows... It's hard to not see the one you love, de gozaru." Kenshin replied, his head bowed low.  
  
Toshiko hesitated before saying, "Is this what you felt when you... no, when Tomoe died?" She asked.  
  
Kenshin's smile flattered, "Aa... but probably even worst, because... She was never coming back, and sessha knew she was dead. And sessha... killed her."  
  
"Iie... You didn't kill her on purpose, Kenshin." And put her finger on his lips before he could utter a single 'oro'. "I want to take a nap for now, leave me for a few hours, I'll cook dinner. All right?" Kenshin nodded and turned around, "And Kenshin... drop the sessha and de gozarus. They're starting to get on my nerves." She gave him a quick smile before she slipped in her futon with her treasure tightly held. She was tired.  
  
Kenshin rolled the shoji shut and walked out, the next thing he knew was being pulled by the ear by Kaoru. "Ororo!! Kaoru-dono! It hurts!" He whined while being dragged off.  
  
Kaoru rolled her eyes and said something like "I can't believe I'm hearing the Hitokiri Battousai whine about a woman pulling him by the ear." And stopped, convinced they were out of earshot. "Kenshin, you better tell me what is wrong. " She said demandingly.  
  
'Women...' Kenshin thought to himself, "Er... Kaoru-dono, it's nothing. Sessha was just thinking how rusty my skills were, de gozaru." Kenshin thought, 'Sessha didn't lie! Sessha was right, it is rusty...... compared to my Battousai days.'  
  
"Mou! Rusty? And you still beat Shishio Makoto. Come on Kenshin, tell me the true reason." Kaoru was getting impatient.  
  
"Kaoru-dono! Sessha would never dream of lying to you!" Kenshin insisted, and the rest of the day past on like this.  
  
* * * * *  
  
'Uedo-sama.' Soujiro thought, this was going to be his new boss, he looked in front of his, with his usual Tenken smile at a man of about thirty. Uedo Kanda was his boss' name. He was going to use Shun-Ten-Satsu, which was the Shukuchi followed by a Tenken Battoujutsu. He saw Chou and Kamatari-san somewhere behind Uedo-sama. In order to join Juppon Gatana, he was going to have to have a duel with the boss. This wasn't going to work if he showed sympathy. If he didn't fight well enough, it would be failing Toshiko.  
  
He began tapping his left foot, the faster he finished him, the better. As he was about to strike with his Battoujutsu, Uedo Kanda disappeared right in front of him, as he felt his presence behind him, it was too late, he had already slashed down on his back. The weird thing was, he didn't feel warm sticky blood coming from the wound. Maybe he was dead already... He felt himself hit the ground, face first... or not. He stood up, staring at the face of Uedo-sama.  
  
"Tenken no Soujiro. Your skills are rusty, but... Welcome to Juppon Gatana." Uedo-sama extended his hand and Soujiro took it, smiling. "Kamatari and Chou, bring your old member to take a bath. He needs one." Then turned around to talk to a woman.  
  
Soujiro, Chou and Kamatari walked quietly, not talking about anything, since they were probably being spied on. Showing him to the bath house, they left him to let himself wash. Soujiro sighed, 'Toshiko... when am I going to see you again?' Then began sticking his head in the warm water to clear his mind. 'Damn it, Soujiro. Pay attention to this mission, cause if you don't, you're going to die, then you're never going to see her again. You saw how strong Uedo-sama is. He could've killed you in less than a second, even if you were using Shukuchi. I wonder how long until I'm finished with this.' Soujiro was stuck to his thoughts while cleaning himself up...  
  
Meanwhile, where Uedo Kanda was, he was talking to a woman, a gorgeous woman at that. "Kiya, I want you to follow Tenken and find out everything you can. I don't think I can trust him yet."  
  
Kiya, the gorgeous woman replied, "Uedo-sama, what about the other one. What was their names?" She paused, "Oh yea! Chou and Kamatari. Kamatari that disgusting cross dresser." She put on a disgusted face.  
  
"I can take care of those two easily, but I want you to keep close watch with the Tenken at all times." Uedo replied.  
  
"Oohh... every in bed?" Kiya smiled slyly. Apparently, she was a whore. Uedo didn't answer her and turned around to order some other people around. Kiya pouted, whenever Uedo didn't reply her, it meant no. 'Damn, and that boy was cute too.' She thought to herself. 'Ah well, there's plenty of other men.' She then walked up to a man and started batting her eyelashes at him.  
  
Soujiro had taken a quick shower and was already outside. He saw Kiya flirting with a man. He had already taken a disliking to Kiya, she was trying to flirt with him before Uedo-sama had come to his rescue by announcing a duel, even though it did hurt at lot in the end, it was better than being annoyed by that woman though. Although he had to agree she was very pretty and attractive, she was nowhere compared to his Toshiko. 'Now it's my Toshiko, is it now?' He asked himself, 'If it was MY Toshiko, I'd be with her right now instead of watching a shameless woman flirt with every man she sees.'  
  
Once Kiya's eyes caught Soujiro's figure, she walked gracefully over and put both her hands around her neck, batting her eyelashes, moving slowly in for a kiss. At the last minute, he pushed her away softly and apologized. He heard Chou say something like "What the hell? Some hot chick was going to kiss him and he pushed her away, what kind of a moron was he?"  
  
Soujiro inwardly smirked, his physical appearance remained the same, Chou was back, so was Kamatari, but this time, instead of helping Juppon Gatana finish the Meiji government, they were helping the Meiji government finish the Juppon Gatana. So ironic indeed, and walked to where Uedo-sama was, ignoring the annoying woman following her.  
  
Author's Notes: Thank god! I'm finally done this chapter, the next one will be updated in a day or two. Pleeease review. Anyhow, thanks for all of those that were reading or reviewing for me. Reviews are the only things that keep me writing the story. I hoped you enjoyed it and sayonara, minna-san!  
  
Shoji - Traditional Japanese sliding doors  
Arigatou - Thank you  
Kenjitsu - art of swordsmanship 


	17. 16 : In My Thoughts Again

Chapter 17  
  
By Crystal  
  
Author's Notes: I'm sorry I couldn't update these few days, I couldn't think of anything to write even if I had time. So I started on one of my other ideas... 'Crimson Puddles'. Hope you enjoy it! Mmm... sweet, sweet grapes. Oh right, thanks for everyone that's been reviewing ^^  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
A week has past with Toshiko crying herself to sleep, usually with Kenshin beside her, sometimes even Kaoru. Soujiro was never coming back, Toshiko knew. He left her, even after promising that he would never leave. He lied. He lied. He lied to her. He betrayed her trust, but she couldn't hate him. Everytime she thought of his face, she would break into a small smile that wouldn't last long and a minute later, she would end up crying. It was a miracle nobody called her a crybaby, not even Megumi who had come almost everyday to visit them. Quite the opposite, she had come to cheer her up.  
  
Afternoon quickly passed and there was another knock on the dojo gates. Toshiko looked up. Whenever someone knocked on the dojo gates, she would always hope it was Soujiro. Yet it never was. She busied herself with chores, doing Kenshin's laundry, buying the tofu, cleaning the whole house a few times a day, hoping it would get her mind off a certain rurouni. It never worked. Everyone was concerned about her, yet all she did was keep herself busy and cry herself to sleep. Kenshin went to answer the gate and she was surprised to see Saitoh.  
  
After both of them talked for a few minutes, Saitoh left and Kenshin turned around to look at her. 'It was time.' Kenshin thought to himself. Time to tell that Soujiro had gone over to the Juppon Gatana, even though it was far from the truth. Time to lie to her and break her heart even more than it was. He couldn't bring himself to do it, yet it had to be done. Saitoh's wife had heard about the case, not the truth, but the lie. Saitoh had even said that they would probably meet his wife tomorrow, since she insisted on going and seeing Toshiko.  
  
Toshiko finished the laundry and looked up, signalling to Kenshin that she was going to cook dinner. 'The news would have to wait.' Kenshin thought to himself, sighing.  
  
An hour later, while everyone sat around for dinner, which included Sano who was coming for dinner yet again, Megumi, concerned about Toshiko, Kaoru, Yahiko, Toshiko and himself. As Toshiko finished her dinner and was about to stand up, Kenshin spoke up. "Toshiko, sit back down. Sessha has something to annouce, de gozaru."  
  
Toshiko sat down and raised her eyebrow, trying to sound as normal as possible, failing miserably, "I thought I told you to drop the sessha and de gozarus."  
  
Kenshin ignored her for now, "Toshiko... Soujiro... he's..." 'Help Kami-sama. How should I tell her this?'  
  
Everyone was now listening curiously. "Soujiro? Where's Soujiro? You know where he is, Kenshin? Tell me!" Toshiko said desperately.  
  
Kenshin nodded his head, "Yes. Sessha... no. Saitoh found out Soujiro's whereabouts, de gozaru." He took a deep breath, glancing at the curious looks he was getting. "He... he..." He gulped, 'No good, I can't get myself to say it.' He cleared his throat, "Soujiro... he..."  
  
Sano interupted, "Kenshin, just say it. You're so annoying like that."  
  
"Tori-atama, Ken-san's trying, so just shut it." Megumi said.  
  
"Soujiro joined the Juppon Gatana." Kenshin finally finished, as he inwardly winced, still not ready for any of their reactions, especially Toshiko. Surprisingly, they all said nothing and looked at Toshiko. She didn't cry though, her eyes were devoid of any emotions, stood up and ran towards her room. Kenshin followed behind with the rest of the gang, Sano in the rear, knowing fully well he couldn't help a near-crying woman even if his life depended on it.  
  
They found her in that position, her back against the wall, two trails of tears on her porcerlain face, her hands clutching a set of blue clothes for dear life. She wouldn't believe him. Kenshin lied. Soujiro would leave her, but he would never return to the Juppon Gatana. Never. Kenshin lied. Saitoh lied. She wouldn't believe it. Not even if hell froze over would she ever believe it. Soujiro said he regretted what he did, he would never go back to the killer he once was.  
  
Kenshin went to hug and comfort Toshiko. During these few days that he'd known her, he had started to actually treat her like a sister. A real sister. When Soujiro was here, she would always joke with him like an older brother and a younger sister. They would talk about the past, tease each other endlessly, even if it was only for a few days. When Soujiro left, all he did was comfort her. Damn whoever was remaking the Juppon Gatana. He cursed inwardly, unaware that his eyes had turned to a complete golden colour. His eyes turned back to amethyst as he heard the young woman in his embrace whimper.  
  
"Lie to me, Kenshin... Tell me it's not true... Onegai, Kenshin. Tell me I'm only having a nightmare and I'll wake up in a few minutes. Onegai Kenshin..." Toshiko said painfully. "You're lying, tell me you're lying."  
  
"You're not having a nightmare, Toshiko. This is... the truth. You can even ask Tokio-dono when she comes tomorrow morning. She is Saitoh's wife." Kenshin said, as gasps were heard behind him.  
  
"Tell me this is a nightmare..." She looked up, her eyes bloodshot. Seeing everyone's look they were giving her, she spook softly, afraid. "It's real... isn't it, Kaoru, Megumi-san, Sanosuke-san, Yahiko-kun?" Without waiting for an answer, she said, "Kaoru... can you please buy me a journal tomorrow?"  
  
"Of course...Toshiko." Kaoru replied.  
  
"I'll be fine tonight. Have a great night's sleep..." Toshiko said, exhausted. Kenshin got the others out of the room. Megumi looked back one final time. She had no idea what this young woman, nearly half her age was feeling.  
  
Kenshin stayed in the room, "Gomen nasai, Toshiko."  
  
She looked at him, and smiled faintly, "It's not your fault. Stop blaming yourself, Kenshin." Toshiko hesitantly said, "Could you stay with me? Just one night, Kenshin? I'm scared." Kenshin smiled a bit and nodded.  
  
"Of course... You're my little sister, remember?" Toshiko nodded and slipped in her futon without changing. When she had fallen asleep, Kenshin went to his room to bring his own futon, not wanting to use Soujiro's and slept there beside Toshiko, just incase she needed anything tonight.  
  
The next day passed miserably for Toshiko. She met Tokio-san who had gone to the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu dojo to visit the woman her husband had told her about. While Tokio-san was there talking with Toshiko, Kaoru had gone, with the help of Megumi to find a journal. They found one, decorated with sakura petals and a light blue background.  
  
Kenshin was doing laundry and the chores while Tokio was talking with Toshiko, which he was glad. Yahiko was practising his swings even though Kaoru wasn't there, Sano had most likely gone off to gambling again.  
  
Toshiko found out that Tokio was a kind woman, open and would talk about anything. In return, she herself told her everything about herself and how she felt. It felt good, but she ended up being a water sprinkler again. A little before dinner, she left, telling Toshiko she would visit again soon. Megumi stayed and cooked dinner, and both she and Kaoru presented Toshiko the beautiful journal which Toshiko thanked.  
  
That night, she had followed her sister's footsteps, pouring in the journal all her feelings and secrets. Everyone of them. But there was one line she wrote that she wouldn't forget for a long while, 'You're in my thoughts again today as you so often are...'  
  
'...and I cannot help but wish, you were the one beside me right now, instead of my brother-in-law. Not that there's anything wrong with him... But I miss you terribly, even if it has only been a week. Aishiteru, Soujiro. I hope we'll see each other soon, ne? From now on, I'll stop crying and worrying the others. I promise you that.' A crystal tear rolled down her flawless cheeks. "I miss you...Soujiro." She whispered quietly, clutching yukata as the wind blew towards her, making her shiver.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Soujiro was still in Tokyo, being followed by that annoying woman. He knew Uedo-sama wasn't even close to trusting him. But he needed to gain his trust. It had already been a week, they didn't dare to send a message out to anyone. He knew they were being spied on every second.  
  
"I miss you...Soujiro." His head immediately snapped up to look at the stars. For a second there, he thought he heard Toshiko's voice calling him. He shook his head, it had to be a dream... It was already a week... Himura-san and Saitoh-san must've told Toshiko. She must hate him by now. No point in dreaming about her voice any longer. Uedo-sama hasn't even given him a hint to where the base was. Nothing.   
  
Thank Kami-sama he was sitting up on a tree where Kiya couldn't reach him, or else she'd probably be sleeping on his shoulder. Even though Kiya wasn't with him, he felt the intense glare from the others hiding, spying on him. He wasn't going to come down tonight. He was just going to sleep there. It was too comfortable, and sitting here made him think that he could hear Toshiko's voice. For once this week, he felt contented, free of Kiya. Only him and himself on the tree... and a few darned spies.  
  
Author's Notes: That's it, sorry I haven't updated for the last four days. Fanfiction.net was down and I started working on 'Crimson Puddles'. Try reading it and leave me a review whether or not I should continue it. Thanks everyone! I thank XenoMark for giving me the website so I can do my K/T fic. Thanks once again! Read and review!  
  
Tori-atama - Rooster head, Sano's nickname  
Onegai - Please  
Aishiteru - I love you 


	18. 17 : Crossing Roads Again

Chapter 18  
  
By Crystal  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
The next morning when Kenshin had woken up, he could already smell the smell of breakfast cooking lingering in the air. He was convinced it was not Kaoru since she always woke up after he did, it must be Toshiko. When he stepped into the kitchen, he was not exactly surprised. Breakfast was being cooked by her, "Daijoubu ka?" He asked worriedly.  
  
Toshiko turned around. "Hai, hai, Kenshin. I don't want anybody worrying about me anymore. I was just thinking of asking Tae-san for a job at the Akabeko, what do you think?" She asked, a tiny smile appearing on the lips.  
  
"...Aa... That's a good idea, de gozaru." Kenshin replied. Toshiko raised an eyebrow, not happy with the 'de gozaru'. He gulped and then smiled innocently, 'She's healing faster than sessha thought she would, but...' At that very moment, Yahiko walked in, followed by Kaoru.  
  
"Ohayou, Yahiko-kun, Kaoru!" Toshiko said happily.  
  
If it had not been for that tiny second's sad aura, Kenshin would've been tricked by her too. She was covering her emotions well. Her eyes were no longer shining like they were days ago, her smile never too cheerful. Usually a forced smile. At least she forced a smile, as in Tomoe... She never even thought about smiling... Except those two times.   
  
Somehow, sometimes, she would see Kaoru as Tomoe. It was weird, really. They were the complete opposite. One with grace, the other as a tom-boy. One with emotionless eyes, the other one with eyes that you could easily see through. It was probably they had both protected him. He snapped out of his thoughts as Toshiko and Kaoru waved their hands in his face. "...Ohayou Yahiko, Kaoru-dono!" Kenshin said cheerfully.  
  
"Toshiko told me about finding a job at the Akabeko. What do you say, Kenshin?" Kaoru asked.  
  
"Kenshin has already thought it was good." Toshiko replied, sipping the miso soup she had cooked.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Uedo Kanda had already gotten to trust Soujiro more and more. Just to make sure he wouldn't betray the Juppon Gatana, he hand another trick up his sleeve. He had more than once heard Soujiro mumble a girl's name in his sleep.  
  
Uedo had made a background check of her, Yukishiro Toshiko, age 16. Two parents and one sister that has passed away and one brother somewhere in the world. Hometown Tokyo. A day ago, he had sent one man that Soujiro knew, not very well, but who knew he was in Juppon Gatana to get close to Toshiko. That man's name was...  
  
* * * * *  
  
A month has passed and Toshiko had kept writing in her journal at night while she worked at the Akabeko in the morning. Sometimes, she would go to work with Yahiko since he volunteered to go whenever he had free time. Toshiko would always tease Yahiko until his cheeks flushed red. She was getting used to the family very well, Megumi and Kaoru as her older sisters, Kenshin and Sano as her older brothers and Yahiko as her younger brother. She had already dropped all the honorific.  
  
She was healing, slowly, but certainly healing. Toshiko hadn't cried in at least two weeks and her smile was coming back slowly, Kenshin had realized. Megumi and Kaoru had also gotten her to shop with them at least once a week.  
  
Toshiko was pouring tea in a cup, humming a song happily that she had heard from who knows where. The first week was hard, but it was getting better. She also got to know a few customers and serve them regularly. She had gotten the job easily because one of the waitress quit, she had told Tae-san she worked for Sae-san for a while, and last, because she was the Kenshin-gumi's friend.  
  
"Toshiko! One plate of onigiri and one umeboshi ochazuke!" She heard a familiar voice.  
  
Toshiko's smile brightened immediately, "Hai, Mokaku-san!" She yelled. A few days after she had arrived to work at the Akabeko, Hitzumi Mokaku had suddenly appeared and had asked Toshiko to serve him. Tae-san had never seen him before, nor had any other people in the area. Mokaku was interested in Toshiko past and therefore, she had told him most of her past. She had said that her sister died in some sort of accident and that she was only here to live with some friends. She had left out the part about Kenshin or Soujiro and had only said that she had someone she loved that left her, other than that, she refused to say anymore.  
  
In return, Mokaku told Toshiko his past. He had turned into an orphan at the age of five and was therefore thrown into the streets of his hometown, Osaka. He lived like that for years until he learned to work and then traveled around Japan and then stayed at Tokyo. Toshiko and him had gone from a customer and waitress relationship to a really good friend relationship in not a long time. Not once did she consider Mokaku lying about his past. *winks*   
  
Megumi, Kaoru, Sano and Yahiko joked about Mokaku and Toshiko being a pair, which Toshiko brushed away. She had never thought of Mokaku about being more than a friend and didn't intend to. Kenshin, of course, had done nothing, even if he didn't like Mokaku. If he had done anything, it would become suspicious. He couldn't feel any fighting ki in him, so was hoping that he had nothing to do with the Juppon Gatana. But, it was too much of a coincidence. A few days after Soujiro had left, this Mokaku had showed up and started being friends with Toshiko. It was better not to take any chance. He had, during the Bakumatsu, learned not to underestimate anyone, even though it was a kid.  
  
As Toshiko carried the plate of onigiri and the bowl of umeboshi ochazuke, she saw Tae-san talking to Mokaku. At the sight of her, Mokaku smiled and waved for her to come, which she obliged. She walked towards them and put down the two dishes, then excused herself.  
  
"Toshiko," She swirled herself around to face Tae-san and Mokaku again.  
  
"Hai, Tae-san?" She asked.  
  
Tae-san smiled at the girl's cheerfulness, "You may go once Mokaku-san finishes his meal."  
  
Toshiko protested, "Demo, Tae-san!"  
  
"Don't argue with me, young lady. Tsubame-chan and Aika-chan are working here, and the busiest time of the day is almost over. Go out with Mokaku-san. You need to go out more!" Tae-san said.  
  
Toshiko pouted, "You sound so much like Sae-san, Megumi and Kaoru..." She grumbled.  
  
Tae smiled triumphantly, "And I look like her too." Toshiko saw Mokaku watch amused at the both of them and she stuck out her tongue at him. Then she wrinkled her nose playfully and got to work.  
  
Soon enough, Mokaku finished his meal and lead Toshiko away from the restaurant. He knew what she felt for him. Friends and only friends, but he wanted more than just friends. As they passed by a ribbon shop, he caught her looking at a white ribbon with bits of shiny stuff on the silk. He smiled inwardly and got her to stay outside the story for a few minutes for him to buy it.  
  
As soon as she opened it up, her eyes widened. "You shouldn't have!"  
  
Mokaku smiled, "But I did. Try putting it on."  
  
Toshiko looked up at him, "H-hai..." She was wearing a white kimono and a high ponytail that morning, so it fit perfectly.  
  
"Looks nice on you." Mokaku said.  
  
"Arigatou..." Toshiko smiled brightly, but frown immediately as she felt someone holding her shoulder from behind her. Mokaku cursed, drunks always had to interfere when he was doing something important. His eyes widened in surprise as Toshiko slapped the man's face away angrily.  
  
As the man was going to grab for him again, Mokaku spoke up, "Leave the lady alone if you want another day alive." His eyes was narrowed, eyes cold, making the drunks shiver to the very core of the being. The drunks left immediately, but Mokaku was sure they were going to come back... very soon. "Daijoubu?"  
  
"Aa... I just can't believe... I just can't believe I slapped him like that." Toshiko said, staring at her hands.  
  
Mokaku shrugged, "They deserved it." Then lead her away to the center of the market. Fortunately, he was alert and had felt the knife diving at him and Toshiko and dodged the knife by a large margin. Mokaku cursed for the second time that day, they were surrounded and he didn't have his damned katana with him. Thankfully, he was good with close combat, but if he did that, that would be giving out his identity to her. The corner of his eyes moved to the roof top directly behind them. He could certainly do that... 'I could just say I learned a few ninja tricks from someone he met on the road, but that was such a lame lie. Or, hopefully, she wouldn't be too curious about the whole thing.' He thought.  
  
"Hold on tight to me." Mokaku said quietly. She looked up at him, confused. "Hold on tight." Knowing he was going to do something, she grabbed on his gi immediately and as he was about to fly up, someone spoke up.  
  
"Thirty against two unarmed person is not very fair, is it now?" A cheerful voice said.  
  
Mokaku heard Toshiko gasp and he felt his own lips curve up. This was going to be extremely interesting. Oh how he wished Kiya was with Soujiro, then this whole thing would probably give him some entertainment. Mokaku felt himself frown as the thirty men go down within five seconds, but he was not contented. Not a single drop of blood fell.  
  
Soujiro was still smiling his usual smile until his eyes landed on the petite woman beside Mokaku. The smile died on his lips adruptly and he bowed slightly. "Yukishiro-san."  
  
It ached her heart, but she said it anyways, "...Seta...san." She felt her eyes brimming with tears threatening to fall, but she looked up at the sky. A few seconds later she was her usual smiling self. "What a pleasure to see you again." She hated herself for acting as nothing happened. She had waited for this day for weeks, and? And she screws it up, that's what.  
  
At that very moment, a beautiful woman dressed in a lilac coloured kimono walked up from behind Soujiro and linked her arms to him. Soujiro did not even feel her arms linking his, he only saw Toshiko beside Mokaku and narrowed his eyes at the sight of him with HIS Toshiko.  
  
Toshiko hadn't seen the cold glare Soujiro had given Mokaku, she had only seen the way the woman linked her arms to him... not only did he not shake it off, but he didn't look like he was going to do so anytime soon.   
  
Mokaku grinned at the sight of Soujiro glaring at him with all the anger he had. This was too entertaining. He smirked at the sight of Kiya smile mockingly at the woman beside him.  
  
"Mokaku-san..." He looked down at the woman next to him. "Could you... bring me home?" He nodded and lead her away, but as he passed Soujiro, he gave him a mocking smile.  
  
Soujiro understood the meaning perfectly well... it meant, do not betray the Juppon Gatana, or Toshiko dies. His eyes followed his angel dressed in white... His angelic Toshiko with her hair tied up high with a ribbon he had never seen. God she was perfect. How he wished Saitoh had never asked him to be a spy for the police. How he wished he could be his angel now. Life sucked, he should be used to it by now, but he still wasn't. The faster he got this over with, the better. But he'd have to do it carefully, or Toshiko might be in danger. Himura Battousai or not, he was not going to bet with the life of the person he loved most. Finally feeling the tug on his arm, he freed his arm away from the bothersome woman and left to the Juppon Gatana hideout in Tokyo.  
  
Onigiri - Riceballs  
Umeboshi ochazuke - snack made with leftover rice and pickled sour plums, soaked in hot tea (term taken from Memoires of a Geisha)  
  
Tariq - I'll get Kenshin and Kaoru to love each other within the next few updates.   
  
Naomi - Neither for now, but probably get his butt kicked when she finds out the real reason why he rejoined Juppon Gatana. ^^  
  
XenoMark - Yup, it's been helping me a lot, as you can see ^^  
  
Shuro - Thanks.  
  
Chiki - Yay! You finally got to finish the story! All that is written anyhow. E-mail me about what you got confused about at clear_crystalglobe@hotmail.com and I'll try my best to explain it to you.  
  
Author's Notes: I might've rushed this a bit, since I haven't written this fic for a week or two, it's kind of hard to rewrite the speed I have been writing, but I'm trying... Anyhow, keep reading and updating, I hope. I got to finish this chapter by the end of this week, yay! Ja ne! ^^ 


	19. 18 : Shining in the Light

Chapter 19

By Crystal

*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*

The second Kenshin closed the gates and turned around, he saw Toshiko beginning to cry and break down.  "Toshiko?"  He said uncertainly, he had no idea what had made her cry so much all of a sudden.  Wasn't Toshiko suppose to be at the Akabeko working?  Why was she here?  "Kaoru-dono!"  He yelled, better for Kaoru-dono to console her than him, he was totally clueless if you put a crying woman in front of him.

She shook her head quietly, "Daijoubu...  Don't... wor-ry... about... me, Ken...shin."  She said between sobs.  Kenshin was utterly confused.  She was really fine this morning before she had went to work, then she sudden comes home early from work and starts breaking down.  He whipped his head around to see Kaoru when he heard her footsteps.

"Kaoru-dono..."  Kenshin said, while supporting a bit of Toshiko's weight.  Kaoru's look on her face was pure confusion.

"Toshiko?  Daijoubu ka?"  Kaoru asked, worried about her friend's condition.  She'd never seen her like this since she's met her a month and a little more ago...  Except that time with Soujiro...  But that was a whole month ago.  Why now?

Toshiko closed her eyes tightly and she looked like she was in pain.  "Daijoubu."  She paused.  "I guess...  I was thinking about the past again."  Another pause.  "I'm fine...  Don't worry..."

"Aren't you suppose to be working at the Akabeko?"  Kaoru asked suddenly.

"Yes..."  Toshiko replied slowly, "Tae-san said I should go out more, so she made me go out with Mokaku-san."  She smiled suddenly as a memory appeared out of nowhere.  "Ah...  Mokaku-san gave me this ribbon."  She pointed at the ribbon tied to her hair.  "What do you think?"  She asked, trying to sound cheerful, and somewhat succeeding.

Kenshin's eyes narrowed at Hitzumi Mokaku.  So, it was him again.  It was getting on Kenshin's nerve.  No fighting ki in him, no proof leading him to the Juppon Gatana and he couldn't just tell him to stay away from Toshiko.  Toshiko would certainly ask what was wrong, then he'd have to tell the whole story and then everyone would be in danger.  "Mokaku...dono made you cry?"  Kenshin asked.

Toshiko's face had disbelief written all over her face.  "Of course not!  Mokaku-san would never make me cry."  She raised her eyebrow a bit, acting like she always had, acting like nothing was wrong.  "Ken-nii, Mokaku-san's been nothing but kind to me, don't mistake his kindness for something else."  She smiled a bit.  "Anyhow, I'm fine now.  I just need a hot bath and I'll be fine.  Ja ne Kaoru, Kenshin."  She waved and ran towards the bath house, hoping that she was able to keep up her fake façade up until she got inside.

Before she got inside, she threw a few pieces of wood in the fire to warm up the water.  After that, she went inside and nearly collasped on the floor.  Toshiko was downright confused.  _So...  Soujiro left me.  For another woman.  So what?_  she asked herself.  _I don't care._

_Sure you don't.  That's why your crying so much and nearly collasped on the floor.  That's why you're in the bath house right now.  Trying to run away from the truth.  You are such a wuss, Toshiko.  _Her own voice told her.  She hated herself.

So what if I care?  I just don't understand...  Why?  Am I really that ugly?  Am I really that ungraceful?  Am I really that weak?  Probably because I'm weak that Soujiro doesn't like me...  He is, after all, Tenken no Soujiro.  What makes me think that he'll settle for a normal girl like me?  If he was to like someone, he would at least love someone like Kaoru that knows how to protect herself, at least.  He would probably like someone more graceful and beautiful...  Like that woman I saw today...

_But if Soujiro didn't like me, then why did he have to kiss me that second day we met?  Why did he say that he loved me that night a month ago?  WHY?  I don't understand.  He could have just pushed me away, but why make it harder for me?  I don't get it...  I really don't.  The least he could have done was told me the truth and not let me suffer as long.  Maybe then...  We could have still stayed as friends.  That would be painful for me...  But, it won't hurt as much._

She went into the hot bath slowly and relaxed.  _Even after all this hurt, I still love him.  I still do and I think I will... until the end of time.  I've often tried to stop thinking about him during the past month since he left, and it's been getting harder and harder, even without seeing him.  I miss his sweet smile, even if it was his usual one he rarely let down in front of another, I miss the laugh his voice makes, I love the way he holds on to me protectively.  I love the way his eyes twinkle when he laughs and the way he kisses me._

_It's just not fair.  Why did he leave me?  Why me?  It seems like everyone I've come to love with all my heart leaves me.  Fourteen years ago, my dear sister Tomoe.  Fourteen years ago, my brother Enishi.  Two months and about a week or two ago, both my parents.  A month ago, Soujiro.  My first love and most likely my last.  I don't think I'm too interested to get into another love life anymore, after what happened to this one.  It'll be a shadow lurking around my heart for my whole life.  Who knows how long before I lose Kenshin, Kaoru, Megumi, Tokio, Sanosuke, Yahiko, Sae-san and Tsubame?  For all I know, it could very well be tomorrow._

_I just don't get it sometimes.  Why did love have to be so complicated, so painful, so annoying, so... confusing?  Lots say that love is perfect, but I don't see mine perfect.  What I see is my heart breaking into pieces that not even the best glue can fix.  People say that it is better to have loved for a while than to never have loved.  I'm sure this statement was said by either people that were never loved or that were loved and never had their hearts broken.  Me?  I personally think... Maybe it would be better if I never loved Soujiro._

_If I had never met him, I wouldn't be so much in pain.  If I had never met him...  I'd still be at the stupid brothel.  I feel my heart ache.  I hate myself.  It's really killing me...  I have trouble breathing...  I'm scared.  Of what?  Of this whole stupid thing.  I'm scared that Soujiro loves that woman.  Which has already been proven...  I'm scared that someone else I love leaves me.  I'm scared that Soujiro REALLY loves that woman.  I'm scared that he's never coming back to me...  I would rather he come back to us and ignore me.  I would choose that over not seeing him for so much days and then seeing him with another woman.  But then, I had to admit...  They did look like a true couple together._

_Me?  Maybe I was never the right woman for him.  Maybe he never loved me.  Maybe...  Who knows?  For all I know, Kenshin could be the man for me.  _Toshiko snorted to herself.  _Yeah right.  My brother-in-law as a husband.  I think not.  Anyhow, Kaoru likes him.  So that option's out.  Sanosuke...?  Oh brother, don't make me crack up.  It's obvious he and Megumi loves each other.  Yahiko?  He's way too young, even if he is mature most of the time except when he and Kaoru argues, but he has Tsubame.  And that, leaves me alone._

_Whatever I think, I can't change the fact that I still miss Soujiro...  I miss him so much.  The pain is getting more unbearable by the second...  It's getting really hard to breathe.  I just want to die... I'm serious.  I'm not the kind to kid about death.  _

A soft knock was heard.  "Toshiko.  Are you okay in there?"  She heard her brother-in-law's voice and smiled.  God how she loved him.  As a brother, of course.

Toshiko took a deep breath, "Aa...  I'll be coming out soon, Kenshin."  Even if it was hard to breathe and she wanted to stop now, she couldn't.  She could still bear it for now, maybe it'll get better.

* * * * *

Soujiro had almost lost his temper once again on the walk back to the Tokyo hideout.  With Kiya trailing behind him and asking him questions he did not want to answer, it was too much, even for Tenken no Soujiro.  He had just seen someone he loved with someone he hated, acting as friends.  Her life was in danger and that made his blood boil.  How had the Juppon Gatana gotten information about Toshiko, he would probably not find out.

_Damn it_.  Soujiro cussed, he was in the bath house, trying to calm himself.  It's been the second time in his entire life that he almost gave himself in to his anger.  He was weak.  Soujiro gritted his teeth and tried to relax himself.  It was impossible.  He did not know how he still had not blown up yet.  The anger was getting to him.  The whole Juppon Gatana was so dead once he had his hands on them, except Kamatari-san and Chou.  Just before going into the bath house and calming himself down, he had gone to have a private chat with Kamatari-san and Chou, asking them to try to get a message to Saitoh-san.

The both of them did not ask a single question.  Seeing the hint of anger on Tenken's face was enough for both of them.  _I am weak...  Strong people do not show emotions easily.  I am weak.  I will not be able to beat Uedo-sama if I am weak.  I'll show them, all of them.  I am not called Tenken no Soujiro for anything.  Himura Kenshin is not nicknamed Hitokiri Battousai for nothing.  Neither was Saitoh Hajime, third squad captain of the Shinsengumi during the Bakumatsu nicknamed the Wolf of Mibu for nothing._

Himura-san is even stronger than me and Saitoh.  And we're both the top swordsman in the whole Japan.  We're not going to lose this fight.  No way in hell are we going to lose.  No way in hell.  Soujiro got out of his bath and dried himself up.

* * * * *

Toshiko's heart was hurting even more than before, even if she did not show it.  It was slowly killing her, she knew.  She was currently holding on the piece of cloth that her love left behind a while ago, she had been since after the bath last night.  Except dinner, breakfast and lunch.  She had a sleepless night last night, but fortunately, she had no dark circles underneath her eyes.

Lunch had been over a little while ago.  Kenshin went out to buy tofu, Yahiko went out to help around a bit at the Akabeko, Megumi and Kaoru went out to the market and invited her, which she politely refused, Sano was probably gambling again.

She stood up on her feet, a bit tired from the sitting position she had been in for an hour and her feet were asleep.  She passed by the kitchen and looked inside.  There, on the cutting board lay a knife.  Nice and sharp, shining in the sunlight.  And it had to look so darned friendly.  Her pain was getting worse and she smiled at the sight of the knife.  Maybe... dying like this wouldn't be such a bad thing.  She wouldn't write a good bye in her journal or anything since she had written everything about yesterday in her journal last night.  They would understand.  She hoped they wouldn't blame her.  She was in pain.

With a happy smile, she took the knife in her hands and knelt on the ground, then proceeded to hold it to her own throat and closed her eyes.  Then, she moved the knife to her throat fast.

_Pain...  Darkness...  _

_So...  This is the end...  Sayonara...  Minna-san...  Gomen naisai...  I know I'm weak...  But I can't help it..._

EvaYasha – Life isn't always happy, but it should be.  Thanks for the review!

XenoMark – I agree, thanks!

Moonlight Prince – Arigatou!

Chiki – lol, that was mean, I know.  But I think this chapter was meaner ^^  I hope you liked this one!

Author's Notes:  I finally got off my lazy butt today, sorry for the delay!


	20. 19 : Engraved Memories

Chapter 20

By Crystal

Author's Notes:  Quite a few of flashbacks in this chapter.  Hopefully, Kenshin and Kaoru will stop being so dense within the next few chapters.

*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*

_Another normal day...  _Soujiro thought bitterly.  _Another normal day of not seeing Toshiko_.  Soujiro sighed and looked behind his back and surprised himself again for the thousandth time that Kiya wasn't there.  _Right.  Kiya-san had something to do today.  Great for me._  Uedo-sama had called Kiya-san in his room that morning and had discussed something with her, after she came out, she had informed Soujiro that she wouldn't be accompanying him to the market or anything.

Of course he was glad!  He was free of her for a whole day, must have been the best day of his life since he rejoined the Juppon Gatana.  Once again, his mind drifted back to Toshiko...  How was she doing?  How had she reacted after she had gotten home that day... Two days to be exact?  Did she cry?  Was she angry?  Was she indifferent?  He looked up and suddenly found himself in front of the Kamiya Kasshin Dojo.  _Weird...  I must have walked here unconsciously._

He turned around and began walking away the dojo, until he heard a yell.  "TOSHIKO-CHAN!"  A woman's voice...  Then the sound of a knife hitting the floor.  "Hajime!"  The woman again...  Saitoh Hajime's name...  His eyes widened as the information sank in and his face paled noticeably.

He couldn't believe he had fallen for the trick...  Saitoh...  He must have made this whole thing up about the Juppon Gatana...  He wanted to kill Toshiko...  And when he left, he killed her.  A woman saw him kill Toshiko and yelled his name...  Soujiro stopped thinking for a moment.  _What the heck, that didn't make sense._  He frowned a bit and sensing that nobody was spying on him or following him, he thanked Kami-sama for letting him have his own 'free time' and immediately jumped over the gates and ran to the kitchen.  It was most likely that the knife was in the kitchen...  Where else do you find a knife?

As he turned around the corner to see the kitchen, his mouth went wide open at the sight.  A woman with her hair tied in a bun was holding onto the limp body of Toshiko and Saitoh was crouched behind her.  A knife was on the floor, with blood on it.  Not a lot...  But...

Saitoh turned around at the sound of someone's footsteps and frowned slightly.  "What the hell are you doing here, ahou?"

"Is she... all right?"  Soujiro asked, ignoring the question Saitoh had asked him.

"See for yourself."  Saitoh said and Soujiro went to take the place of the woman holding onto her.  Her eyes was closed and she would have looked really peaceful if it wasn't for the line of blood dripping down the side of her throat slowly, drop by drop.

* * * * *

_Ahou, mind telling me why the hell you are here?  _That must be Saitoh-san... Always calling people ahous...

_I heard your wife, Tokio-san screaming Toshiko's name.  I came just to check if she was all right._  Soujiro...  Why are...  you here...?

_That was stupid of you.  You could have been followed_,t_hen you would have screwed up the whole plan!_  

_What plan, Hajime?_

_I don't give a damn!  I just wanted to make sure she was all right!_  Soujiro...?  Me...?  All right?  He still cares...?  Of course not...  I must be dreaming...  He loves that woman.  I must be dreaming...  I'm dead.

_As I said before, that was very stu..._

_Hajime.  _Tokio-san...  _I would like to hear the whole story._  A groan.  I never thought I'd see the day Saitoh-san groan...  Actually, I'm not exactly seeing it...  Just hearing it.  Up in heaven or down in hell...  Somewhere around there.  Hell, probably.  I **did** commit suicide...  Or, it might just be a dream.

_I'll explain, Tokio-san.  _Soujiro's voice...  _Saitoh-san sent me on a mission to spy on the Juppon Gatana because...  _I'm so tired...  The sounds are diminishing...  I can barely hear anymore...  Was that... the last time I'd hear his voice?  The last time I'd feel him this close?  I feel him holding onto me...  But I'm dead...  So I can't possibly be feeling anything...  Anything at all...  He stopped talking...  Why?  I feel a kiss on my forehead, so familiar, yet so exotic...  I find myself surrounded by darkness the second time that day...

* * * * *

Toshiko tried to open her eyes and found them terribly heavy...  After trying a few times, she finally got them to open and saw a familiar ceiling.  _The ceiling of the dojo...  I thought I was dead?_  She sat up quietly and painfully, feeling the pain in the front from the knife cut and in the back...  Most likely from someone knocking her out unconscious.  Her head turned painfully towards the shoji as she heard it open and a woman stepped inside.  "Tokio-san..."  She said quietly.

Tokio sat down on the floor and placed the tray of tea down, "I heard you waking up, so I brought some tea.  Now, if Hajime and I wasn't here, then you wouldn't have been here in this world anymore.  I want to know your reason for doing that."

Toshiko ignored what she said, "Was Soujiro here?"

A slight pause, but enough for Toshiko to tell something was out of place.  "Saitoh was...  Who's Soujiro?"  Her eyes were unreadable, emotionless, but Toshiko had been able to tell she was lying from the slight pause...  "I want to know your reason for doing that."  She repeated again.

Toshiko sighed in defeat, "It happened a while ago...  And it's felt like ages since I've known him...  But it's only been a few months...  That day...

_Gomen nasai!_

_Daijoubu?_

_Daijoubu.  Ano..._

_Please call me Toshiko...  Would you mind telling me your name?_

_Oh right!  I forgot to tell you my name.  Seta Soujiro, a rurouni.  Call me Soujiro._

_You know this man named Kenshin? Himura Kenshin? And neechan?  Can you...take me there?  Arigatou gozaimasu, Seta-san!_

_Can...I?___

_Seta Soujiro! I demand to know what is going on! PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!  Soujiro, don't you dare._

_Now why wouldn't I dare?___

_Me. I killed them._

_The Battousai...He let you live? And sent you to do something like this? I thought...He was a demon, slashing at everyone he saw.  
I would love to be your daughter-in-law..._

_I know you would. You love him, a lot. And he you._

_"I don't know, it's just a plain festival every year where everyone goes."_

_It's not just a plain festival!  You could wish whatever you want to wish for, it's special and it's only once an year!  
Yeah, Soujiro's right, it's just a plain festival.  Sorry, I'll be right back._

_Don't you ever__ get tired of smiling, Soujiro?__  
Soujiro likes you. That's all I'm going to say.___

_...It's beautiful, ne?"___

_Aa...___

_I wi__sh it was like this everyday...__ With you...__Woops...did I say that out loud?__ H__eh, heh, heh. You didn't hear that__._

_Daijoubu ka, Toshiko?  
Soujiro! Where the heck were you?!_

_Gomen nasai... I just don't know what I could do if you ever left me.  You're never going to leave me, right?_

_You don't like me... do you? You regretted it... didn't you?_

_Iie Toshiko, I didn't regret it._

_I miss you...Soujiro._

_Yukishiro-san._

...Seta...san. What a pleasure to see you again.

She closed her eyes and smiled fondly at her memories.  Then she opened her eyes, staring straight at Tokio's.  "Sou ka..."  Tokio said softly, then smiled a bit.  "Life is never a rose garden, but if everyone went to commit suicide every time something like this happened, the whole world wouldn't have a single soul living in it.  Love deeply, you might get hurt, but it's the only way to actually get closer towards happiness.  I've learnt that the hard way, just like you have."  She chuckled at Toshiko's widened eyes, "Yes...  Like you, I've tried to commit suicide too...  I am fortunate to still be alive and married to Hajime."  She showed the scar on her wrist.  It was faint, but still visible.

"Was your marriage with Saitoh arranged?  Don't answer if you think it's too personal."  Toshiko said.

Tokio shook her head, "I'm unlike you, yet like you.  I committed suicide because my father arranged my marriage.  A while later, my father died of sickness and I no longer needed to marry anyone.  I left for Kyoto, even if I knew it was a dangerous city, but I knew self defence.  I was a ninja, and that's when I met Hajime."

Toshiko nodded and felt a sudden dizziness overwhelm her, "You must be tired, after how Hajime knocked you unconscious."  She nodded, "Go sleep, I'll tell Himura-san about the incident two days ago.  And today, if you want."  She nodded again.  "Sleep well, Toshiko-chan."  Toshiko watched Tokio-san take the tray gracefully and close the shoji.  She felt her head hit the pillow and fell asleep.

* * * * *

He watched Toshiko through the gap Tokio-san had left purposely open and he thanked her silently.  Although he didn't hear the whole conversation between them, he had been able to catch most of the words.  Mostly the ones with Toshiko during their trip to Tokyo.  Watching her one last time, he walked silently to the gates, where he felt Kenshin's ki.  Alone.  He opened the dojo gates and even though Kenshin had felt him, he was still surprised.

"Himura-san."  He bowed.

"Soujiro...  What are you doing here?"  Kenshin asked.

He put on his usual smile, "Tokio-san is inside tending Toshiko.  I'm sure she will tell you everything that has happened today...  And two days ago.  I must get going, or they'll be suspicious.  Ja, Himura-san."  Another bow before he walked out and sprinted away from his sight.

Kenshin frowned, Tokio-san?  Soujiro certainly wouldn't come if it wasn't something serious...  He walked back slowly to the dojo with his tofu bucket and sudden stopped in his tracks.  Something dead serious...  Carrying the tofu, he ran into the house and almost slammed the door open until a hand stopped him.

"Himura-san.  Toshiko-chan's resting."  Tokio's calm voice said.

"What happened, Tokio-dono?  He said something about you tending Toshiko...  And that you would tell me everything that happened, de gozaru."  Kenshin asked.

Tokio smiled reassuringly, "Let's go to your room.  I don't think Toshiko-chan would like to be disturbed in her sleep."  Kenshin lead Tokio to his room and they sat down comfortably.  "I had made Soujiro-kun and Hajime tell me exactly what was happening with the whole Juppon Gatana thing.  Apparently, the only person that knows is Himura-san, Hajime, Soujiro-kun, Kamatari-san, Chou-kun and now me.  Then Toshiko-chan told me what happened two days ago."

"Two days ago?  That's the day Toshiko came home crying, de gozaru."  Kenshin almost shouted, but kept his calm at the very last second.

"Now, Himura-san.  Can you please let me finish the story before you ask me anything?"  She saw Kenshin nod, "All right, two days ago, Toshiko-chan met Soujiro-kun somewhere in the market with a woman.  Toshiko-chan thought she was Soujiro-kun's love, since she was holding onto his arm.  Soujiro-kun told me today, while he was telling me the whole story about the Juppon Gatana, that she followed him everywhere.  Toshiko-chan came home crying because she...  Well, you don't exactly need explaining on that."

"Today while all of you were outside doing something, like you, buying tofu for example,"  She pointed at the bucket of tofu beside Kenshin.  "she tried to commit suicide."  Tokio saw Kenshin's eyes widen as big as saucers, "She's fine.  Fortunately, Hajime and I passed by to visit her and for no reason, Soujiro-kun just passed by and heard me call Hajime and Toshiko-chan's name.  Hajime immediately knocked her unconscious and then Soujiro-kun rushed in.  She just managed to cut her throat a bit.  She feels a bit dizzy and her neck hurts, but other than that, she's fine."

Kenshin sighed a sigh of relief.  "Do you think...  We should tell her?  Even though we might put her in danger.  Sessha thinks... she deserves to know..."

"Himura-san...  Hajime's right, you're too much of a softie.  The less people knows about the secret, the less chance of it being exposed.  When you're doing something like this, be as secretive and hide in the darkness as much as you can.  You being Battousai, a shadow assassin during the Bakumatsu, you should know that better than any of us."  Tokio said, looking straight at his eyes.

Kenshin looked back, eyes narrowed, "Who are you?  Saitoh would tell you about me being Battousai, but he would never tell you something like that."

"Takagi Tokio, spy for the Shinsengumi.  Just like you, I hide in the shadows."  She replied emotionless, then smiled a sad smile, "But you're right...  Toshiko-chan deserves to know...  I'm turning into a softie also...  But..."  

"I deserve to know what?"  The two of them turned around to meet Toshiko's confused gaze.  Because of the seriousness in the whole conversation, the both of them had not sensed Toshiko.  "I'm sorry, I just couldn't sleep, even if I was dizzy."

Naomi – Thanks.  Well, you see, Uedo Kanda's head is as messed up as Shishio's ^^  Hope that explains it

XenoMark – Arigatou!

EvaYasha – She's not dead, no worries ^^

Author's Notes:  Sorry it came out so...  Late.  Blame it on ff.net, de gozaru ka!  They had the site down for like, 2 days.  Anyhow, next up, I think is Crimson Puddles.  I'm half way done anyhow.  See ya!


	21. 20 : The Truth Revealed

Chapter 21

By Crystal

*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*

Kenshin opened his mouth and closed it quite a few times, not knowing what to say.  He turned to look at Tokio and she was just as surprised.  Finally, he managed to get an answer out of his mouth, "Er...  Nothing Toshiko.  You should go to sleep...  After all of today's adventure."

Toshiko raised a bit of her eyebrow and looked at Tokio, who now had her lips pressed thinly.  "Tokio-san...  Kenshin...  I heard something, and I'm not deaf yet.  I'm only sixteen.  I want to know what you've been talking about, especially if it means that you are hiding something away from me.  Was Soujiro here?"  She asked again and received a surprised look from the both of them.  Her own eyes widened, she didn't believe any of this.  Soujiro, here?  He cared?  For her?  She felt her knees turn into jelly and fell on the floor.

"Toshiko!"  "Toshiko-chan!"  The both of them yelled.

"What is going on?  I want to know."  Toshiko said, quietly, yet it sounded like a command.

Tokio stood up and supported Toshiko, "We'll tell you when the rest of the people comes back."

"Iie."  The two women look at Kenshin, "I do not think that it is a good idea if everyone knows.  The less people know, the less danger he is in."

"Who is he?!"  Toshiko asked, annoyed.  She was losing her patience.  She wanted to know where Soujiro was.  No, she needed to know where he was.  She needed to know whether he loved her or not, she needed to know why he left.  She needed to know if they knew the answer to this.  Most importantly, she needed him...

Kenshin mentioned the two of them to sit down, and they complied.  "Hajime's not going to be too happy..."  Tokio said.

Kenshin nodded, "True, but right now, I really could care less about what Saitoh thinks."  He turned his eyes to Toshiko, she had noticed the drop of 'sessha' which meant a really serious thing. "Toshiko, promise me, once you hear about this, do not lose control.  If you do, you're putting everyone in danger.  And that includes Kaoru-dono, Sano, Megumi, Yahiko, Tae-san and so on...  Even Tsubame-chan and Saitoh."  After receiving a nod, he continued, "A month ago, around a week before Soujiro left...  Saitoh came, remember?"  Another nod.  "We weren't talking about 'a case a while ago'.  Someone has recreated Juppon Gatana."

"Soujiro..."  Toshiko said.

"No, Soujiro didn't do something like that.  He never would...  He has...  His own sheath."  Kenshin said, fully knowing that Toshiko knew what he was talking about.  "And that sheath, is you."

Toshiko sat there with her mouth slightly open in surprise and suddenly said uncertainly, "You're... not joking... Are you?"

"I'm...  Sessha is not kidding, this is serious.  Saitoh has already sent two ex-Juppon Gatana to spy them, but the both of them are not as strong as Soujiro.  He came that day, asking me to look for Soujiro, but found Soujiro in the dojo.  When we reached his office, he told Soujiro about the whole situation.  Soujiro is in a dangerous situation, de gozaru.  He was here when you committed suicide.  He was here all along, he just left a little while ago.  Soujiro told Tokio that Uedo Kanda was a dangerous man, if he had not been easy on Soujiro during their first duel, Soujiro would have been dead...de gozaru."

"He was here all along until you went to sleep a while ago.  I saw him by the gates, then you came and found out, de gozaru."  Kenshin finished, "That's about it.  Did I leave anything, Tokio-san?"

Tokio nodded, "The fact that he loved you so much he almost showed his emotions at the market.  That boy loves you."

Toshiko held back a sob and her eyes glazed over, "I...  Never knew...  I doubted him..."

Tokio smiled at her sadly, "Then never doubt him again.  He never doubted you, don't ever doubt him again.  Lastly, don't ever commit suicide, that's the coward's way out.  Life is hard for everyone, don't be a coward and die because it feels hard.  The older you get, the harder life gets.  Remember that...  But then again, there are some exceptions to that..."  She glanced over that Kenshin.  "Himura-san, I hope you don't mind me staying here tonight.  I'd like to talk a bit with Toshiko-chan."

Kenshin nodded, "That'll be fine, Sessha hope you don't mind sharing a room with Toshiko?"  Tokio shook her head, mentioning that she didn't mind.  "I'll get an extra futon for the room."

"Arigatou, Himura-san."

"Arigatou... Minna-san..."  Toshiko said while looking at the both of them and suddenly smiled.  Everything was all right...  Soujiro would do this right, he did all the stuff right.  Even though he was only nineteen, she knew he was awfully smart, especially in these fighting stuff.  Everything was going to be all right.  Everything.  Never was she going to doubt him again...  At least she'd try not to.  Kenshin and Tokio returned the smile.  Everything was going to be all right...  She had Kenshin, Tokio, Saitoh, everyone.  She was not alone in the world.  She stood up and went to slide open the door when...

"And don't be too close to Mokaku..."  Kenshin added.  She turned around and gave a confused look.  "I'm pretty sure he's one of the Juppon Gatanas.  Just don't suddenly be cold to him.  But don't be any nicer to him.  Act normal."  She nodded her head once and headed out the room, surprised.

As she reached her room, she sat down and hugged the shirt.  Tears came down quietly as she cried silently.  _Soujiro no Baka...  You could have told me, you aren't alone in the world.  Baka, baka, baka...  _She smiled a bit, _Seta Soujiro, you are getting your butt kicked once you come back.  I swear to god._

* * * * *

Soujiro sighed, the minute he had left the dojo, he had wanted to go right back in and keep looking at his Toshiko.  Unfortunately, it was getting dark and if he did not return soon, they'd get suspicious.  The only good thing that happened today was seeing Toshiko.  And of course, not having that...  that woman come along.

As he walked to the shrine, he saw a familiar looking woman standing there waiting for someone.  Soujiro was sure she was waiting for him and grimaced inwardly.  Kiya that irritating woman.  Why she was following him, he didn't know.  It was probably Uedo-sama's order.  He neared and as Kiya got sight of her, she jumped up, excited.

"Sou-chan!  Uedo-sama has something to say to you."  She smiled up at him.

_You're even shorter than Toshiko..._  He thought to himself, then said out loud, "Arigatou Kiya-san.  I'll go see him now."

She surprised him by linking her arm to his and he looked down confused, "I'm coming with you."  Soujiro smiled, but frowned inwardly.  He wanted to be away from the woman.  Now.  Soujiro continued smiling the whole time while looking at the beautiful scenery.

The moment he stepped in, he was even more shocked.  A new person, standing in front of Uedo-sama, not smiling, simply glaring.  He turned around and gave Soujiro a glare of hatred.  Soujiro was not scared, but those eyes...  Those black eyes reminded him of someone he had just met a while ago.  Shocking white hair, black piercing eyes...  Instead of showing fear, he smiled at him, no emotions showing on his childish feature.  Inside, he was thinking.

"Tenken."  Uedo-sama said, he looked up to him, "This is a new recruit.  Yukishiro Enishi.  He will, from now on, be under your command."  Soujiro fought hard not widen up his eyes.  _Yukishiro Enishi...  Previously fought with Himura-san and lost.  And Toshiko's brother.  What the heck is he doing here, glaring at Uedo-sama?_

"Enishi-san."  Soujiro greeted and bowed, he looked back at Uedo-sama, "Is there anything more, Uedo-sama?"  With a shake of his head, he lead Enishi out of the room and into his own room with him glaring at him the whole time.  "Get in here."  Soujiro hissed and Enishi pulled away even more.  "Yukishiro Enishi, brother of Tomoe-san and Toshiko.  Get in here before anyone get suspicious."  Soujiro whispered in his ear.

Enishi immediately walked in the room without a fuss, but the second the door closed, Enishi pushed Soujiro forcefully against the wall, knocking the wind out of him.  "Who the hell are you?"  Enishi asked, his voice cold.

Soujiro, feeling no one was outside or anywhere near whispered, "Let go of me, Enishi-san.  Seta Soujiro, also called Tenken no Soujiro here.  Why are you here?"

"How the hell do you know Neechan and Toshiko?"  He asked murderously.

"Himura-san.  Toshiko's my friend and she's staying at Himura-san's right now.  And don't you dare go there or you're going to put her in danger.  Then I'll be the one pushing you towards the wall.  Now answer my question."  Soujiro said coldly, still having a smile on his face and not losing any emotions.

Enishi relaxed at Soujiro's protectiveness towards her sister.  Even though he had loved Tomoe more than he had loved Toshiko, he hadn't seen his little sister in ages.  And he did miss her.  "That damned bastard used Toshiko to threaten me into joining."  After the sentence, he had already felt Soujiro's anger flaming up easily and was worried.  "Tenken?"

Soujiro shook his head forcefully, calming his senses.  "Daijoubu."  He muttered something under his breath and Enishi caught a few words like 'bastard', 'wuss', etc...  

Before, he was relaxing at Soujiro's protectiveness, but now he was frowning a bit.  He didn't want anything like Tomoe to happen to Toshiko and he'll protect it, even if it took his life in the process.  The man standing before him was Tenken no Soujiro, the man standing before him a decade ago was Himura Battousai.  To him, it made no big difference, if he were to hurt Toshiko, he would have his head.  No matter how much Tomoe had loved him or forgiven him, he still couldn't stop hating him.  The fact was, he killed someone very dear to him.

"What's Toshiko to you?"  Enishi asked and caught Soujiro by surprised.

He instantly snapped his head up to Enishi, who had now fully let go of him, "What do you mean?"

"You know damn well what I mean."  Enishi replied, not too happy about the answer Soujiro was giving him.  "You tell me everything now before I kick your ass."

Soujiro frowned, _I doubt you could kick my ass..._  "Toshiko wouldn't like my rear kicked very much..."  Then added under his breath, "Well...  Actually, considering now...  Maybe she'd like my rear to get kicked."

Enishi frowned at Soujiro, he had heard the last bit, even though he was saying that quietly.  "What did you say?"

Soujiro shook his head, "Nothing..."  And received a glare, "I can't tell you..."  Then he turned his head towards the door and waited for the two person outside to knock.  As they did, Soujiro said, "Chou-san, Kamatari-san.  Come in."

"Sou-chan,"  Kamatari said, "There's a meeting outside in thirty minutes."  Then he said, "Yukishiro, maybe you should take a bath before going to the meeting.  You stink."

"Why you stupid woman..."  Enishi growled.

"Man..."  Chou corrected.

Enishi's face was a look of surprise, "What the...  Stupid girly-man..."  Enishi grumbled.  Kamatari frowned and countered him with a 'white haired freak' and they had both gone into an argument.  Suddenly, Soujiro smiled a real smile.  It felt like home...  The dojo, actually.  Enishi being Yahiko-kun, Kamatari being Kaoru-san...  Not until now had he realized that he had missed them all too.  And of course, his lovely Toshiko.

Naomi – I wouldn't let Toshiko die like that.  No way.  Arigatou for the html, Naomi!

DiaBLo – lol... 0_o is right.  I wonder what she was thinking... ^^

XenoMark – I guess I didn't want Saitoh's wife to be a normal housewife and be weak.

EvaYasha – I think so ^^

Chiki – I know what you mean, ff.net is always crashing...

Author's Notes: Is it me, or is ff.net crashing everyday at least once?  Anyways, thanks for all the reviews, I might have rushed this chapter a bit...  Gomen it came out so slow.  ff.net crashed.  Again.  But I have three tests on Friday, so yeah.  Thanks all!  See you later.


	22. 21 : Rejected Invitation

Chapter 22

By Crystal

*Screw the Disclaimers ^^;;*

Kaoru frowned at Toshiko's bright smile.  Ever since she and Megumi had returned last evening, she had that smile on her face.  Tokio-san came to visit and slept here for the night and left this morning after breakfast.  She looked at Kenshin.  He was smiling just as much.  Could it be they knew something she didn't?  That thought clearly annoyed her.  She hated being kept in the dark.  Especially if it was something that made the both of them happy.

A knocking was heard at the gates and she went to open it...  revealing Hitzumi Mokaku.  "Mokaku-san!"  Kaoru greeted.  "Are you here to see Toshiko?"  A nodded.  Kaoru smiled, she knew this man had something for Toshiko, even if she Toshiko loved Soujiro.  _Perhaps it was time for Toshiko to get herself someone else.  _She told herself, then added to herself again, _Maybe you should stop waiting for Kenshin.  You have, after all, waited for him for two whole years._  She turned around and called Toshiko's name and after a while, she arrived with Kenshin beside him.

As Toshiko saw Mokaku, her smile flattered a bit, but caught herself right away.  The slight change of the smile was only seen by Kenshin, who greeted Mokaku too.  "Mokaku-san!  How are you doing today?"  Toshiko replied happily, with her usual smile.

"Great, you Toshiko?  You look extremely happy today."  Mokaku commented.

"Good, as usual.  Thanks!"  Kenshin smiled slightly, at that moment, thinking how good of an actor Toshiko was.  If he didn't know better, she would have fooled him too.  She was uncomfortable with him, after he told her about Mokaku and the Juppon Gatana, though it felt right.  She had every right to know.  

"Would you like to go to lunch with me, Toshiko?"  Kenshin then snapped his attention back to Mokaku when he had invited Toshiko for lunch.

Toshiko smiled apologizing, "I'm sorry...  I really want to, but Kenshin said he had something to tell me before you came..."

"Aa...  Gomen nasai Mokaku-dono.  Maybe next time?"  Kenshin replied, instantly knowing that Toshiko was not ready to spend a few hours with him yet.

Mokaku smiled, "That's okay.  I'll come back when I'm free.  I'll see you later.  Good bye, Toshiko, Kamiya-san, Himura-san."  Toshiko and Kaoru waved back while Kenshin bowed a bit.  After he left, Kaoru went to close the gates and when she turned around, she was greeted by the piercing eyes of Kenshin set on the door and Toshiko without her smile, but with a frown on her face.  Talk about mood swings...

"What's wrong, Kenshin?  Toshiko?"

Kenshin looked up as he heard her voice and smiled his goofy grin, "Nothing, Kaoru-dono.  Sessha was just thinking for something, de gozaru."

"All right then...  Aren't you and Toshiko going to talk?"  Kaoru asked.  Toshiko looked up and smiled at Kenshin, signalling him to go to his room.  He nodded and followed her to his room.  "That's weird..."  Kaoru said quietly, "They're acting the same way, both of them."  Kaoru shrugged it off and bounced in the kitchen and started cooking lunch.  Somewhere, Yahiko groaned at the thought of the busu cooking.

"Kenshin..."  Toshiko started, "How long are we going to live like this?  Or should I say, how long does Soujiro have to be a spy for?"  She looked up at her brother-in-law.

"For a little while, I don't know more than that."  He smiled fondly as he remembered Tomoe and him saying the same thing.

Toshiko did something she would never have done.  She guessed what he was smiling at, "Are you thinking of your Kaoru-dono?"  Toshiko asked, and received a blush from Kenshin.  She giggled.  "Ken-nii likes Kaoru-dono!"  She chanted quietly until Kenshin put his hand over his mouth.

"She's not mine!"  Kenshin replied, blushing just as much.

"She sure wants to be yours."  Toshiko stuck her tongue out and Kenshin lunged at her...  And missed.  Toshiko ran out the door with Kenshin chasing her.  What a sight, I mean, it's not every day you see Himura Battousai chasing after a girl and what was even rarer was that he couldn't catch her.  Until, of course, Kenshin pulled on her arm and they both lost balance and fell on the floor.  After falling down, Toshiko used Kenshin's chest as a pillow and laid down and stared at the sky.  "Look at the clouds.  It's beautiful, ne?"

"Aa..."  Kenshin replied.

"I bet you want me to be Kaoru too.  Right?"  Toshiko asked teasingly.  She saw Kenshin frowned and laughed.  "Just kidding..."

Kaoru found them like that lying on the floor, "Having fun?  What were you talking about?"  She asked.

"Oh, we were just chatting, you know.  And I was just talking to Kenshin about you-"  Kenshin covered her mouth instantly and smiled a goofy smile. 

Kaoru frowned a bit, but then smiled.  "I cooked lunch, you two should go eat now!"  Kenshin and Toshiko's face paled, but of course, Kaoru was oblivious to that.  She was so happy about herself cooking lunch and not burning the kitchen down, though she **did** burn some of the food...  But that was good enough for her.

"Hai, Kaoru-dono."  With that, the three of them walked to the kitchen in a comfortable silence.  Kenshin and Toshiko was greeted by the usual sight when Kaoru cooked.  An unhappy young thief glaring at the burnt food, an ex-gangster seeing if the food was poisoned, the love of the Tenken who just lost appetite, a kenjitsuu instructor that was happy about her cooking and a Hitokiri.  Himura Battousai ate the meal like it was any other meal.

* * * * *

Soujiro sighed.  Enishi has been out for his head after he had found out that he had kissed his sister.  It was an advantage to have Shukuchi, but after a while, even Tenken no Soujiro would be tired after being chased by a white haired freak.  That was what Kamatari had called him.  Now, it's not that unusual having arguments between Kamatari and Enishi during dinner time.  They always made a big fuss out of cross-dressing and white hair.  Soujiro didn't mind one bit, but it was getting on his nerves.  The more he saw the both of them argue, the more he thought about the dojo.  How he wished he got all this over by.  Hopefully...  Uedo-sama would show them where the hideout was, then Soujiro can send Saitoh a message and that would all end.

Soujiro sighed again.  He wondered how Toshiko was doing.  Like he often did.  It was only around two days since he'd last seen her, but it felt like an eternity.  Finally, Enishi gave up the chase and threatened him, with Soujiro against the wall that he was either going to treat Toshiko nicely, or he would beat him up.  Soujiro nodded quietly, not exactly scared of Enishi, but didn't want to get on his bad side.  Enishi loved to push someone against the wall.  Enishi's done that to him quite a few times during the past two days.

At least, every thing was quiet for the past two days.  Except, of course, with Enishi chasing him around for his blood and pushing him against the wall.  Then there was always the arguments between Kamatari and Enishi.  Then of course, Chou would suddenly tell them to 'shut the hell up' and then Chou would be also dragged in the argument.  It ended with him trying talk 'calm' them down, which ended up disastrous all the time due to all three of them telling him to shut up and throw him against the wall.  Once, he was even about to say 'Oro...'.  He wondered briefly how Himura-san had actually gone through all this humiliation.

Soujiro was currently lying on his futon, staring at the ceiling.  The pure white ceiling, his mind wandering almost everywhere.  To Kyoto, back to Otsu, back to Tokyo, then to the dojo and then back where he was.  Then the whole thing would start again.  Enishi was probably out arguing with Kamatari, Chou was probably doing something for Uedo-sama.  It was suspicious why Uedo-sama never sent him to do anything.  All they had to do was stay here and sleep, eat, talk.  That was about it.  And then he got trusted.  Actually, he had to listen to Uedo-sama.  After all, they are threatening him with Toshiko.

That makes two.  Him and Enishi.  Well, hopefully, Himura-san was watching Toshiko up closely, after Tokio-san had told him everything.  At least Soujiro hoped Tokio-san did.  One more person knowing...  Now there was Kamatari, Chou, Enishi, Himura-san, Saitoh-san, Tokio-san and him, himself.  That was seven.  Hopefully, Himura-san would know how to lie to the Kenjitsuu instructor.  Just then, the door pushed open and there was Enishi, Kamatari and Chou...  Arguing about what?  About woman's clothings!  Soujiro shook his head, he couldn't believe it.  Woman's clothing!  He sighed one last time, for him, these three in his room were idiots.  Not that he was any better himself, but hey, at least he didn't get into little childish arguments...

EvaYasha – I don't think I'll make Enishi as a bad guy ^^

Chiki - *Dances along with Chiki*  Lol...  Thanks for the review!

XenoMark – Family reunion ^^  Good idea.  Thanks!

Keiko – I want... grape!  *sucks on purple lollipop*  A new reviewer too ^^  Arigatou!

Takato Taikashi – Hmm...  Made me think of an idea with your review ^^  I can imagine Chou with a fishbone... Somehow, I can.  New reviewer too ^^

Naomi – Arigatou!  Hope you had fun in Paris!

Pearl – Wee!  I'm getting lots of new reviewers ^^  Thanks!

Blueraingurl – You can keep on writing a review while I do my story!  I don't mind =P  Thanks for reviewing.  New reviewer for this fic ^^

Author's Notes: I got 100% on my Chinese without studying!  Pure luck!  I don't know about my other two tests...  But hopefully, I got good.  ^^  Oh right, I get Mokaku was out of the story for a little while and I needed him for the story.  Unless if I change the storyline, which I might.  Not much action in this chapter.

Scene inspired by Takato Taikashi's review ^^

Enishi: *Drinks miso soup and spits it out.*  BUSU!  *runs away*

Kamatari:  GET BACK HERE ENISHI-CHAN!  Chou!  Eat your lunch!

Chou:  Oi Jou-chan, but your miso soup could poison anyone...

Kamatari: *Glares at Chou murderously and takes bokken.  Whacks Chou and Chou goes through the wall.*

Soujiro:  *Sweatdrops* Maa, maa.  Kamatari-dono...  I'm sure they're just kidding, de gozaru...

Kamatari:  *Glares at Soujiro*  Eat your lunch and shut up.

Soujiro:  *Looks at lunch, then groans.  Looks up at Kamatari who is looking at him with a murderous glare.  Gulps*

Kamatari:  *Runs out and chases Enishi*

Soujiro:  *Looks down at lunch.  Throws lunch down drain*

Kamatari:  *Comes back with Enishi and glares at the empty table*

Soujiro:  *Sweatdrops*  Er...  Kamatari-dono.  The lunch was so good Sessha ate it all.

Enishi:  *Snickers*

Kamatari:  *Whacks Enishi's head with bokken, causing him to faint*  You liked lunch Soujiro?  I'll cook more!  *Dumps Enishi on the floor and rushes to the kitchen, making the whole kitchen burn down.*

Soujiro:  *Sweatdrops*  Ororo...


	23. 22 : Shocking Meeting

Chapter 23

By Crystal

*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*

Toshiko was sitting on the porch when she suddenly broke into a malicious grin.  Kenshin had caught that very small moving and could almost see the wheels turning in her head and winced inwardly.  He had no doubt that she had a plan to try to get him and Kaoru together.  The last one failed, but that sure didn't discourage Toshiko.  Quite the opposite, really.  Toshiko's been sitting on the porch and looking at the two little girls play while her mind was turning around, making plans as a matchmaker.  Kenshin almost groaned.  His little sister was impossible.

If possible, Toshiko even grinned wider when she saw him looking at her with those eyes.  She winked at him, hinting at him that all was going to go along well, that the plan would work.  It just worried him more.  Her head jerked up as she suddenly smelt a faint smell of smoke.  She jogged over to Kenshin, who winced, wondering what she would ask of him.  Surprisingly, her voice was dead serious with a bit of amusement moulded together, "Himura Kenshin, if you don't go help your Kaoru-dono cook a bit, I will take up Sano's favourite hobby and bet that the kitchen will be burned any second now."

He was suddenly alarmed and used his god speed and ran into the kitchen, but not without seeing the glint of amusement in her eyes.  She giggled like a child when she heard yells from the kitchen, followed by some 'Oro'ing.  Sometime, when Kaoru turned less stubborn, she was going to teach her how to cook without endangering the house.  Sometime...  She sat down where her brother had been doing laundry and started scrubbing at the clothes, after all, Kenshin would be busy in the kitchen helping Kaoru.  Without paying much attention to what she was doing, her mind soon drifted once again, to a certain young black haired rurouni with a smile plastered on his face.  She smiled.

That's how Kenshin found her again after he had finished Kaoru with lunch and was about to call her to eat.  A peaceful smile dancing on her delicate lips and her hands doing the laundry without even paying slight attention to it.  She was like him, sometimes.  Using the chore laundry as an excuse to think about stuff.  You really couldn't blame him.  Other than the time he had in the bath and with laundry, he barely had enough time to think, with insults being thrown every way and bokkens whacked in every direction.  He had no doubt she was thinking about Soujiro again, not that he minded much, no.  She had taken the news quite well, actually.  If you didn't count going off to commit suicide.  Well, he didn't blame her either, he knew what she felt...  10 years ago.  Wanting to stop the memories from coming, he called to Toshiko for lunch and she followed while once again, teasing him about Kaoru, which he ignored.  Or tried to.

* * * * *

Lunch was just over, Yahiko had gone to help the Akabeko, Kenshin was finishing up his laundry, Kaoru was doing something while Toshiko was thinking how to get out of the dojo without getting Kaoru to be suspicious of her.  Of course, she hoped that once nobody but the two of them were in the dojo, Kenshin would somehow confess to her...  Toshiko hoped it would work, after all, her brother-in-law was way to dense.  Any other man would have detected that Kaoru was interested in Kenshin.  He was such a dumb idiot sometimes.  She often wondered why her sister had actually fallen for Kenshin...  He is a bit...  stupid on the topic that included women.

A knock on the door and Kenshin stood up and went with Toshiko to open the gates.  It was Mokaku, smiling at the sight of Toshiko.  Toshiko had a mental image of herself punching the guts out of Mokaku.  Oh how she hated him...  But then, a sudden idea came up to her mind.  _Perfect...  Perfect way to leave the dojo._  She smiled brightly, "Mokaku-san!"

"Himura-san, Toshiko."  He bowed down respectfully and smiled at the young girl who looked so excited to see him.  Little did he know, inside, she wanted to tear him apart, bit by bit and that she was only using him for a plan.  "Toshiko, do you mind to go out and have a walk?"

If possible, her smile grew even bigger, "Hai!"  She turned around to face Kenshin and gave him a wink which he replied with a soft groan.  She giggled playfully and went out for a walk with possibly the man she hated the most...  Actually, disliked.  Hate was too much of a powerful word.

Toshiko quickly dragged Mokaku out on the streets and closed the gates behind her, smiling.  Mokaku was smiling the nice smile again.  _Mission Accomplished._  He thought, as he lead her to the lake.  (or is it river or something?)

* * * * *

Toshiko had her back against a tree, watching the first leaves of autumn fall.  Leaves were swirling down beautifully and she looked beside her at the sleeping Mokaku.  It's been half an hour since she was out here with him, she wondered how Kenshin was doing.  Thinking about the person in front of her again, she couldn't help but think that Mokaku didn't seem like someone who would work for the Juppon Gatana.  But then again, neither did Soujiro.

She took a mouthful of fresh air and slowly closed her heavy eyelids she couldn't hold any longer.  And smiled while she slept.

* * * * *

Finishing the laundry, he hanged it up to dry them and when he turned around, he saw a daydreaming Kaoru...  Looking straight at him!  Kaoru blushed crimson as she saw his gaze on her and looked away, hoping he would come up to her and ask her what was wrong.  Instead, a minute later when she was looking around, hoping to catch sight of a certain red head rurouni, she saw him warming up the water for the bath house.  Kaoru made some angry sounds, _He is so dense sometimes!_

_* * * * *_

Soujiro, Enishi, Kamatari and Chou walked to where they were meeting and as usual, everyone showed up.  Instead Mokaku.  "Where's Mokaku-san?"  Soujiro asked, a bit curious about him since the last time he saw him with Toshiko in the market.

"He'll be coming soon.  Once he comes back, we're going to the base."  Uedo answered and smirked.

_Sadistic Bastard._  Enishi thought, but then, someone showed up and once he caught glimpse of the two, his mouth went dry and he looked over to Soujiro, who was clenching and unclenching his fists, anger on his face as clear as the day.  Chou and Kamatari, with their backs turned to the entrance, decided that whoever it was 1, someone who was more annoying than Saitoh Hajime, which was very much impossible or 2, was very stupid to get Tenken **and** Enishi angry in less than a second.  Turning around, the sight caught them both by surprise.

Standing there was no other than Mokaku with a woman in his arms.  Why was Soujiro and Enishi either too shocked to say anything or too angry to control their usually well controlled emotions?

XenoMark – I kinda know what you mean, cept I don't have a small sibling and my brother would be the one killing the guy that kissed me.  LoL.

Chiki – I know, that was a cute scene ^^.  Maybe I should put more Kaoru and Kenshin scenes...  Hopefully, they won't sound to awkward.

Naomi - *grins*  Well, I guess looking at art the whole day could be slightly boring.  Enishi normal?  I think not ^^;;

Blueraingurl – Arigatou!  Well, I guess I just kinda wrote that scene cause I needed Toshiko to understand Kenshin and tease him about Kaoru, telling the readers that she didn't mind if Kenshin married Kaoru or something.  Mood swings?  I think so ^^;;

Author's Notes: I took so long to update, not to mention it's one of my shortest chapter ever!  I'm so sorry, but I guess this was the time to stop this chapter.  Barely two pages.  Anyways, I apologize again and hopefully, I'll make the next chapter longer.  How about that?  Later!


	24. 23 : Meeting Again

Chapter 24

By Crystal

Author's Notes: I've been having a MAJOR writer's block for this story.  And I apologize fully.  There might be another writer's block after this chapter.  Hopefully, there won't be.  And also hopefully, my writing style hasn't changed due to that one month of no writing on this fic =p

Warnings: Language, definitely the language.

*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*

"Who the heck is that girl?"  Chou asked Kamatari, who was as clueless as him.

"No idea."  He replied back to him.  "Hey, Tenken..."

Soujiro was still glaring at the two of them, "Bastard..." He hissed so quietly they could barely hear it.  "God damn son of a bitch."

Toshiko suddenly recognized the white haired man as her brother and her eyes widened, then her eyes turned over to Soujiro.  No one would ever know how much she had wanted to run over to him and embrace him tightly until he suffocated, but if she did that...  The they would all be doomed.  Instead, she tried hiding all her emotions once again and gathered a glare to glare at Soujiro.  "Bastard.  You kidnapped me, you bastard."  She bit her lips, knowing that those words had hurt him more than she ever wanted to.

Soujiro saw Uedo amused from the corner of his eyes.  He was truly pained by those hurtful words, but when he turned around again to see Toshiko, he could see the pain underneath the glare.  Pain, but no betrayal...  which meant, Himura-san had told him, or she had either figured it out by herself.  He composed himself again, then smiled his Tenken smile, "Nice to see you too, Toshiko."

He could feel the sudden hatred radiate from Enishi's body, but ignored it, "It's so nice you can join us."

"Aa...  It's so nice Yukishiro-san here can join us," Uedo signalled to Toshiko, "I'm sure her brother misses her, don't you think, Tenken?"

"I think so too, Uedo-sama."  Kamatari looked at the angry Enishi to the calm Soujiro.  What had made Soujiro turn from angry to calm and Enishi from shock to anger all of a sudden?  He didn't understand this at all.

Uedo suddenly walked up to Toshiko, "Such a pretty thing too.  But you're for threatening the Battousai..."  He looked at Enishi now, clearly stating that Toshiko would die if he made a wrong move.  "I want her, what do you say, Tenken?"  Toshiko's eyes widened with raw fear.

The former Tenken saw the fear in her eyes, but for some reason, managed to stay calm.  He shook his head, "Uedo-sama, I would like her, if you don't mind."  He could hear Enishi's knuckles cracking, wanting to crack his nose any minute now.  He also saw a look of trust in Uedo.

"Of course not, Tenken.  If you want her that much, that is."  With that, he grinned evilly at Toshiko.

Toshiko glared at him, "BASTARD!"  But got slapped by him.  Soujiro almost winced, but did nothing but smile.

"Learn how to talk to the leader of Juppon Gatana."  He grabbed Toshiko from Mokaku and threw her to Soujiro who caught her.  (A/N: Man, I don't like this.  Toshiko's being treated like an object!)  "Tenken, lead her to your room.  I will find a room for the other three tonight."

"Hai, Uedo-sama."  With that, he dragged Toshiko roughly, trying not to hurt her, but at the same time, trying to make it look believable.  Toshiko, was 'attempting' to run away.  With a slam, he slid closed the shoji and turned around to see her, "Are you all right?"  He whispered quietly.

She nodded, "I...  I miss you..."  She looked up to him quietly, tears threatening to fall.

"Shh..."  Soujiro embraced her and rocked her back and forth, "Don't cry...  Please?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"  Toshiko asked quietly, her voice muffled against his chest.

"Because I didn't want something like this to happen, but I guess it was unavoidable..."  Soujiro said quietly.

Toshiko shook her head, "You could have told me...  Then I wouldn't have been so worried about you!"  Soujiro raised his finger against his lips.

"Shh...  Don't be too loud.  We're suppose to be...  Ugh, you know."  Soujiro blushed along with Toshiko.

"What are we going to do?"

Soujiro shrugged, "Well, for the next few hours, I guess we'll have to talk quietly, don't you think?"  Soujiro sat down on his futon.

Toshiko nodded, "I guess..."  She sat down on Soujiro's lap, "But we have to make it look believable...  I need some blood."

His eyes were knotted in confusion, "Blood?  What do you need blood for?"

"You didn't know?"  He shook his head, and Toshiko blushed, not wanting to be the one to tell him this, "Well...  Umm...  Er...  I...  Well..."

"It's okay if you're not comfortable with it, to be truthful...  I don't think I am either."  Soujiro replied.

"Thanks..."  She said quietly.

Soujiro was quiet as he just sat there, rocking Toshiko back and forth in comfort, his head in her hair, smelling her heavenly scent.  "I missed you a lot, you know?  All I could do was wonder if you were mad at me, especially after that market encounter..."

"Did you know what I did afterwards when I got back to the dojo?  I couldn't believe I was that stupid..."  Toshiko trailed off, regretting what she just said.

"Yeah, I know what you did.  I was there when you did that."  He whispered quietly.

Toshiko looked up in shock, "You were?"  He nodded.  "Oh."  She looked back down, suddenly finding her fingers very interesting.

Minutes passed in silence until Soujiro opened his mouth, "So how are you doing?"

"Not exactly well...  But it could be worst."  She said quietly.

"I wouldn't let anything happen to you, you know that, don't you?"  Toshiko nodded her head slowly.  Soujiro caressed her check, tilting it upwards and placed his lips on top of hers.  His heart was beating a hundred thousand miles per hour the second his lips touched hers and he felt...  For the first time in a long while.  Very contented.

He wrapped his arms around her waist even tighter and pulled her down along in the futon and kissed her gently, making her shiver slightly.  "Aishiteru, Soujiro."  She said quietly.

"Aishiteru, Toshiko."

Her stomach fluttered as she kissed him back and then, they got lost in each other's arms...  Completely.

Author's Notes: Too mushy for my liking...  But...  Eh.  Anyways, yupperz.  Hopefully, I won't have another writer's block or I'm screwed.

Sorry I missed ConfuseD's review on chapter 22!

ConfuseD – Sorry I missed your review, for some reason...  Not that it's surprising, my brain never works well anymore.  Anyways, thanks for your compliments and I still don't know when I'm starting my "Dying Leaves" and I still haven't decided whether it be Soujiro/Misao or Aoshi/Misao.  I'll see for myself and what the reviewers think once I start writing it, which might be after this fic ends, or some other ones.  Might not be even after this one since there's a sequel to this.  Whoa, long reply.  Anyways, I guess it's to make up for not replying you last chapter.  See ya!

Chiki – Kenshin damn dense is right!  Lol...  More Kenshin next chapter, I'm pretty sure.  And yes, it does mean Toshiko and Sou-chan will be reunited ^^  Whee!

Naomi – Evil?  I think so ^^  I like writing cliff-hangers, as long as I don't get threatened =p

Takato the Wolf Taikashi – LoL...  Definitely.  I'm going to get him tortured...  Well, not exactly =p  But you know what I mean.

XenoMark – Family reunion, I'm hoping it's either next chapter or the chapter after that.  Thanks!

DiaBLo – Arigatou!

Swordsong (Dreamdancer) – Thanks a lot!

Phoe-chan – Lol...  I wanna be in Toshiko's place too *grins*  Worst than Kenshin, probably.  Since he was an assassin AND abused by his family and Kenshin was only an assassin, but then again, he lost his wife and had to travel around Japan for ten years before meeting with Kaoru.  Lol with the Kiya smacking ^^

HnH – Arigatou!


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